They think we *like* it when they take their sweet time showing us who the new Pope is

In perfect health! Such a busy weekend he just said he had!🥴

Getting everyone on the internet to watch your press conference so they can see how convincing the new body double is is one way to expand attendance. 😄

Still not sure whether he’s dead or not. He may be, but since it wasn’t reported on Fox News yet, he might simply not know.

Still won't watch. Will not give a point to ratings whores.

Honestly surprised they didn't just put out an AI video of an impossibly fit Trump doing a Jack LaLanne workout on the Resolute desk, TBH.

Maybe its pre recorded

🤣😂🤣😂

Fatty boom boom talked about rockets, did he?

This administration's marketing is WEIRD, that's for sure.

Really proving the no such thing as bad publicity axiom.

i jumped on to listen and my ears only made it 30 seconds before they blew out and my eyes started burning

Same heard his voice saw his nasty face turned it off Damn still alive

uuuugggh, my condolences 😓 there’s always tomorrow

Except how many didn’t bother to watch it because they knew they could log on here and get the gist of it? 😉

I just watch thru @atrupar.com account. Let him go insane having to listen to Trump all day, I'll just watch the clip.

It’s not him. It’s a body double. Drumpf is in a coma on deaths bed. They’re scrambling all over each other not knowing what to do. Totally unqualified people running the place

Even if not true, this needs to be the rumor spread over and over to force them to keep denying it and frustrate them and their cult.

Has it still not started? Lol

I’m actually really depressed now to learn that he isn’t dead.

try to live your life such that the majority of people tuning in to see you on live tv aren't disappointed to see you're just a miserable decrepit wretch surrounded by amoral sycophants instead of dead and in hell already

Weekday at Bernie’s

Thanks for taking one for the team.

Well the smell is pretty bad if JD's face is anything to go by.

His face is always like that when he gets pulled from another vacation.

when it all finally hits the fan we will be so very lucky that they are so very stupid.

And that they all hate each other as much as they hate everyone else. Infighting incoherent incompetents.

"best ratings, we're making CSPAN great again!" - the ossified but still strangely cheetoh orange crypt-keeper behind The Resolute

Saw the recorded version afterwards. Didn't Bondi already say what it was about this morning 🤔

Being such an asshole everyone watches in hopes you eat shit, aka the Paul/Mayweather strategy.

just tell me when there’s white smoke billowing from the WH chimney

Black smoke from the WH chimney, on the other hand, is either the Epstein files, or a construction accident because Trump hired the lowest-skilled bidder for the new ballroom.

When he comes in, keep an eye on the audience to see if they react to the smell.

No smell. It’s a body double

If I still had a Twitter account, I'd post something like that, attributed to Alex Jones just for the added trolling value.

update: not dead yet, maybe next time

what, he's going for a walk? looks plenty dead to me.

As was (roughly) once said of Maggie: the world has only got to be lucky once. He has got to be lucky all the time.

Death status downgraded from "pining for the fjörds" to "I don't want to go on the cart"

booooooooo

Is he less coherent than usual? Might be impossible to tell…

Is this to distract from the Epstein victims who are showing up tomorrow

Kinda low energy, and everyone around him looks unhappy/annoyed.

dang

Reminds me of the terrible hunter joke.

I would love to see how quickly viewership numbers plummeted as soon as he showed up alive.

Not fully dead, any way.

Great hook for content creators.

He's gonna declare victory the way he declared victory that he "made" Obama dig out and make public a more formal birth certificate. Ha ha made you look etc.

Seems to be just a bit dead