how are you even supposed to take spy movies seriously when laura loomer is making intelligence decisions oh, there’s an elaborate plot to steal the nation’s secrets? the ones being emailed to the lady who handcuffed herself to the twitter building? how dare they ruin one of the best genres
Relatedly, I no longer believe in evil geniuses. I've concluded that's an oxymoron. It's a dumbass move to be evil! My theory is that any contender for actual historical evil genius was either lucky, had good pr, or was good at long term thinking *compared to other evil people* -- low bar.
Laura Loomer has ruined Jewish women. Israel helped.
She handcuffed herself to the Twitter building but yet also only did it to one door handle so people could... just use the other one to get in And this person is somehow some kind of shadow president in the real president's ear Just real good shit going on in America these days
I believe because it would be a fire code violation if she did it properly and she didn't want to get in trouble... Which is a great attitude for a protestor
Thanks for reminding me why I shouldn’t feel bad for all the contempt I have for people these days
I mean, it gets worse. Loomer is obviously fucking nuts, just lunatic. Gabbard otoh is a fucking foreign plant doing active harm as best as she can. Working directly for the enemy, aiding and abetting the fall of the nation directly, best she can. bsky.app/profile/roch...
Movies got waaay too long. The spy movies can shave off an hour by just paying for what they want and gettting it within 30 mins
Fictional plots have to be internally consistent and make sense, a constraint not required by reality. Alas.
Imagine “Burn After Reading” but with far far stupider intelligence community characters, somehow.
That's basically the secret services in Infinite Jest
Exactly. Like, the outside idiots from that movie becoming the inside idiots.
COMING TO THEATERS THIS CHRISTMAS From the Producers Of SPY GAME HUNT FOR RED OCTOBER DUMB & DUMBER AIRPLANE & IDIOCRACY (If only any of this were slightly amusing )
What about films where the POTUS is at risk?
It's always been like that, though. A lot of Doctor Strangelove's staying power is that it was more or less a documentary. That was, what, sixty years ago?
"Somehow our enemies invited themselves to our Signal chat, and learnt all our secrets by quietly sitting in the corner taking detailed notes." 😄
I read ‘Laura dern’ instead of loomer and I was so taken aback- PLEASE give me spy boss Laura dern!!!
I mean the DNI and the president are both Russian assets...
This day and age is a never-ending pasta bowl of satire source material
I've already had to go through that suspension of disbelief a few times in 6 months. Bad guys want our secrets? Have they thought of just paying in T$rump memecoin for it?
they were always competence porn it’s just more fantastic now
The spy genre has been stale af since Tom Cruise had real hair. CIA super bureaucrat engages in a vast conspiracy for reasons too boring to care about. Yawn. Now we have actually mentally ill influencer addicted to bad plastic surgery fucking up our national security for no reason at all.
You know how people were saying they would accept new Indiana Jones movies if it were Short Round repatriating artifacts from museums to where they belong? There could be spy movies about recovering the secrets sold by a corrupt regime and returning or broadcasting them based on degree of evilness.
Spy movies as aspirational narratives about government competence
"No time to explain! There's someone who will take a shot at the PRESIDENT!"
Oh there’s a mole inside the FBI? Shit that’s so surprising, I thought focusing all your efforts on having them all do MMA would make it more secure
Don't worry, they have their best agent investigating the mole...whoops, the best agent WAS the mole.
For comic relief, I recommend watching The Tall Blond Man with one Black Shoe; not the dubbed version, with subtitles. Spy/spy-scandal plot, screamingly funny! www.imdb.com/title/tt0068...
On the other hand, this is pretty much how half the British civil service acts in Len Deighton’s Harry Palmer books, as well the Americans (and Gen. Midwinter) in Billion Dollar Brain. *and* the main suspects in Le Carre’s Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.
concubine capers
I feel like a lot of the prestige of the mythos kinda leaked out (heh) through the War Thunder forums needing a, like, "days without incident" counter.
"Mr. Bond, I'd like to introduce you to my associate, Big Balls"
national treasure reboot. nicolas cage is going to steal... project 2025.
Tinker Tailor Loomer Spy is gonna suuuuuck
The Spy Who Loomed Me will be worse. But better than Three Days of the Con Girl.
Critical Trump 2.0 counterintelligence interrogation:
Burn after reading
Reading John Le Carre and the Soviets are nonstop beefing with each other and shooting their best agents so, uh, yeah
Stay tuned for Tom Cruise's new movie series "Mission Very Likely"
The villain has a truly insane Number Two who makes ludicrous decisions every time? I don't know how you make that credible, though.
A spy movie, but instead of trying to undermine the government, the hero has to sneak and and secretly keep it functioning normally
To one door of the double door entrance to the Twitter building*
burn after reading still works
Some diy sex machine action
... who cuffed herself to the twitter building, but incorrectly, so that twitter employees could just walk around her to get in anyways
#neverforget
Assuming we survive Trump and the Republicans, will ANY other allied nation in the world ever feel safe sharing secrets with us again? Our intelligence community is going to be hit with the stink of this administration for decades to come.
Tinker Tailor Soldier Stupid
I can't watch any movies involving the us government, police or military at the moment given what's going on. Been watching non English speaking stuff as a result.
I want to see a spy movie where the hero spends 2 and a half hours doing everything possible to stop some bad guy from stealing top secret files, and the very last scene is him checking his phone and seeing that Hegseth has accidentally shared those files on social media.
They don’t know what you’re talking about.
Is like Laura loomer like in the top 3 most evil people rn
Slow Horses is the spy drama for the 21st century
I I've felt this way ever since he became president the first time. I can't take it seriously any time I see a scene in any media where the people running the country are depicted as hyper-competent, intelligent, serious people in suits. The most accurate movie ever made is Don't Look Up.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels like this administration has ruined the enjoyment of watching spy movies or government centered action flicks. I felt that way the first time around too, but worse this time. Our government is such a cringy, cheesy, joke.
I don't think you make serious spy movies for a while - gotta do some spy vs. spy comedy, I think. A parade of beautiful women all trying to get something out of Pete Hegseth but he's too drunk to be coherent. Trump Mr. Magoo-ing the nuclear secrets away from all of the spies at Mar-a-Lago. Etc.
A remake of 'North by Northwest' or even better 'The Man with One Red Shoe', where America's greatest spy is really just an average person who really has no idea what's going on around them.
My exact pitch would be RED - Pierce Brosnan and Helen Mirren are retired MI6 called back to infiltrate Mar-a-Lago to try and extract sensitive secrets for safekeeping before other spies (Russian, Chinese) can get their hands on them.
Before Trump's auction starts, you mean..? 😄
Or you have the spies be actual spies but they sit around having bitch sessions with the enemy about the Dr. Strangelove-ass dipshits they answer to.
Johnny English meets Johnny 'Murican.
I was thinking something along those lines...like Austin Powers, but 'Murican
Dude spy movies were never real. If you can accept optic blasts, you can accept exploding Bow ties.
Man, where's the MFing Deep State?
Come on now. Coming in of the top rope is the only speed Laura knows. I see potential here.
Everything is unbelievably stupid and I'm kinda tired of it, yeah. Trying something kinda stupid myself, share if you think it's worth it please.
The military is not a police force. You are asking for a military coup.
I heard The Diplomat is good, Keri Russell is always a delight, but I guess it'd need too much suspension of disbelief.
So much "spying" & other intel work is just organized crime... honey pots, blackmail, intimidation and braggadocio... Just sanctioned illegal activities done by a lot of bad and often stupid people. Not too surprised. Spy movies exist for propaganda, & to create mystique around a v. dirty business.
It’s all Copaganda
(What spying today involves humans and isn't just satellites and drones, at least.)
she probably thinks counter-intel is watching who lurks in a trenchcoat or overhearing someone at a counter.
It's like a spy movie directed by Tim Robinson.
Honestly so many genres' core tropes are getting ruined. "The American people will REVOLT if this gets out!" just doesn't land as a plot-driving concept after you watch millions of voters shrug and keep doing what the TV tells them to do.
That “Deep State” that was supposed for to be controlling things is really doing a crap job. You can’t even pretend this is a distraction now; it’s just utterly uncontrolled chaos.
somehow endangered genres is not high up on my list of concerns these days, wish it could be
I wonder if she sent spies to find the person who punctured hee tire
Burn after reading is a documentary.
Eh, there was only so seriously they could be taken in the first place. And an operation or sensitive secrets being compromised because someone did something stupid *is* an almost ubiquitous trope in them.
We are living in a really bad Bond movie
It’s Top Secret
We're gonna have to start a new genre of movie - incompetence porn. Where the sheer audacity of the idiocy and the fact that there are real world parallels to it becomes the focal point of entertainment. Let the hilarious hijinks ensue!
"Oh there are Jason Bourne deep state ninjas who pop out if there's anyone who is a threat to agency security is discovered by counterintelligence" "uh, how are (points) all of these fuckers alive?"
Hollywood has set us up for such disappointment. Where are all the hit men, dark state guardians, secret cabals meant to protect us.
The woman who FAILED to handcuff herself to the Twitter building.
Any movie that revolves around the president being in mortal danger, kidnapped, etc feels ruined too. Like, you're just going to get me to root for the bad guys.
ever see spy game? imagine laura loomer in that at any point. (anyone who hasn't seen this, should)
Wasn't the underlying theme of Le Carres Smiley novels "Christ, What an Absolute Shitshow..."
Pretty much the theme of everything he ever wrote
There must be a good movie in that.
Frank Drebin would be rubbing his temples and muttering "really?".
in all fairness, en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acousti... (not an excuse for loomer, i just feel like more people should know about the cia’s various and sundry weird “let’s train animals for espionage” phases)
Similar to the Mango Menace ruining the "President is in danger!" genre. Or Musk spoiling the word "grok".
I was going to say the most realistic spy movie of the 21st century has become Burn After Reading, but the characters are still too competent and logical
The Russians l, really?!
I just can’t get over this, loomer was a joke and a farce even among the dipshit brigade that was the right wing twitter “influencer” brigade and now she’s running the country
I remember putting down dystopian books in the late 90s because 'Oh come on, people would see through this level of manipulation, this person sounds like a captain planet villain.' And now in real life I'm worried if grandpa took his night night pills before the lady who wants to fuck him texted.
There is a valuable lesson to be learned in understanding how Loomer managed to rise to such a critical position in the Trump regime. I don’t know what is because the whole scenario is ludicrous and fucked. But someone needs to figure it out quickly
It is just intolerable that Laura Loomer is making hiring and firing decisions for the whole of government like how? Why does it keep happening? Where is Susie Wiles?
I didn't realize that Loomer was a Project Veritas co-conspirator. But she's always been great at telling the Emperor his New Clothes make him look SO HOT.
She got the job cause she was fucking trump.
Plot twist, the reason why he was missing all those days is because he was shacked up with her and he had a stroke from her riding his mushroom too hard
This isn’t a joke they have a weirdly close relationship I kept seeing stories last year.
I don’t even want to know what ian miles cheong would be doing these days if he wasn’t in malaysia
He stay there and chum up to the new Australian-born US Ambassador. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nick_Ad...
The world is less Bond and more Slow Horses
And a not insignificant bit of Johnny English
I think of Steve Carell in Get Smart when he tries to KO a bad guy by suddenly flinging a landline phone handset at him… only the cord is way too short so the attack fails, very lamely
C’mon, Jackson Lamb could take on the lot of them.
I hear he sells amazing weed
15 to 20
There really is only one explanation that makes sense when considering a man with the character like Donald Trump and an aging brain breaking further from what little inhibitions existed in the first place.
I bet she can’t parachute ski jump either
I'm looking at the US today and wondering why I'm doing all this meticulous plotting for my books... I should just flip a coin and choose the stupidest idea every time.
How dare you downplay the lethal combination of Big Tits and an Ashkenazi IQ (her words)? Did Blofeld have Big Naturals?!? I don’t think so.
While I LOATHE her, Laura Loomer is not Jewish so it’s pretty fucking doubtful she said ANY of that 🤨
m.youtube.com/watch?v=vTQ4... Oh, you poor stupid ignorant bastard.
She’s partially ethnically Ashkenazi Jewish (an ethnic/cultural group) from her father’s side, but she’s not known to be formally affiliated with any Jewish religious denomination or practice. Ashkenazi refers to ethnic origin, not Jewish religious practice or affiliation. That may be the nuance. 🤷🏼♀️
Loomer claims to “be Jewish,” but what she really means is her father’s heritage is Ashkenazi Jewish. Seems she’s not a practicing or synagogue-going Jew from any denomination—she name-drops her ethnicity to imply authority on Jewish issues, but doesn’t speak for observant Jews or their communities.
With all due respect, I am a white dude of - largely - German ancestry. I’m not going to get into debating who is / isn’t Jewish - and the technicalities therein - on Al Gore’s Internet in 2025. Just not going to happen.
still wild how young she really is
Don’t you bait me!
she’s 32 & the cosmetic work has added about 300 years
I hear you. Dicey relaying that Looney Loomer’s bonafides are as distorted as her talking points—and, frankly, her face. Told her self-presentation fits patterns of conspiracy theorists using exaggerated or false claims about personal identity to add weight to their narratives or influence politics.
bsky.app/profile/jenn...
The Nazis and white supremacists think she's Jewish and hate her, whenever she shows up to stuff they fully turn on her
The same one who cried when she lost her election and ate dog food on a live stream?
"Special Agent Ethan Hunt, we think the president gave the nuclear codes to China" "Oh, so you need me to steal them back? Or kill the president and pretend to be him?" "Oh no, our plan is to just do nothing and see how this plays out"
"Oh no, you have to present with Chinese with this invoice from the president, and wait until they cut a banker's cheque for him."
"No, you see, it's an embarrassing mixup. He meant to give the codes to Putin, but he can't keep them straight anymore."
Hell, all you’ve got to do now is slide into Whisky Pete’s DM’s and who knows what kind of information you’ll get your hands on.
Just tell him you got a bottle of gin with his name on it and I'm sure he'd tell you almost anything.
Why spend so much money with CIA, FBI and others agencies if we have Laura Looney
What did we learn today?
Burn after reading is the only realistic spy movie now youtu.be/kCXTq-fWWio?...
Spy movies, but they're all Austin Powers and Johnny English
Read the actual history of espionage. This is the return to tradition actually
Man imagine being a spy and training your whole life and the job gets so easy a baby could do it. Foreign spies helping to reconstruct America just so they can feel something again
The Americans but now all they do is look at other each and sigh because every plan is completed accidentally by the targets.
![^ Early life and education Laura Loomer was born in Tucson, Arizona, 14] [151 on May 21, 1993.1161 She and her two brothers were raised in Arizona. (171 She stated that she grew up in a](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:5yn4dxwylpms3c5k4fy2vtf3/bafkreialhk2g32d2lcrlbppts2lct6xjrzs3ppgqbdrjxprmsymzarrdei@jpeg)