I have so much anger that I've never gotten a chance to just exhale from my body. And a lot is towards her and the callous way she has thrown me and other of her loved ones under a fucking Mack truck for her feelz and her stupid religious cult.

I don't want to change her mind. I just want her to know how much I've grown to despise her for her bigotry and lack of empathy, and I went her to know that I hold her responsible for every single person who dies under this administration.

My guess is she already knows, but refuses to see it. I have no sympathy for people like her, my own mother would be cheering the same things coming to my country... I have screamed at her, I have cried, she refused to see anything but what her cult tells her to see.

All it did was exhaust me. Channel the rage into staying alive and helping your community instead. Sorry, if I am overstepping... I am bad at this...

No, you're fine! And you're right. The problem is, I can't channel rage in those directions. Spite doesn't incentivize me to stay alive. Only helping people does, and I'm running out of options with that. My rage also is like... she let me be abused and I've never allowed myself be angry about it.

It is amazing and infuriating how bad a person can be at being a parent... And it is ok to be angry as well... you have all the right in the world to be.

Yeah and I know you're right. It won't help. She actively denies and flat out lies to me and herself about some of the known abuse. She can't handle it, so me getting angry about it won't help. But I AM angry about it and I have no good outlet for it, so my brain keeps pushing me towards SH instead