😱

Nestle has been testing them a couple of yrs, usually at Walmarts, surprised you got to see one

so, hows the pizza?

lol I left. Went home

Will you tell us tomorrow?

lol maybr

It’s the natural evolution of Little Caesars. I’d hit that thing 4 days a week but I have to know can a machine make a good pizza

commish this is what the money is for!

But, what if this but it dispensed a cup of Totinos Pizza Rolls?

Million dollar idea. You could have one of these in every college’s student union.

And every dispensary.

Ok I’d have to try that

Need a silicone cup because those things would be 792°

I’m not spending Patreon money on DiGiorno work pizza

Just record the experience and call it content.

This imo

EXACTLY. it’s for the podcast!

Commish, I'm not coming to your office to try this one. You're on your own.

seems like a dereliction of duty

In lieu of raises ...

No one's getting their bonus this year

What the DiGiorno vending machine sees

Digrosso

I'm sorry.

I have a lot of investments and diabetes medication. Let the process play out

y'all are gonna need to hack it to add extra cheese pre-bake

You gotta give a review!

I used to joke about wanting pizza machines at rest stops when I was kid. We're living in the future.

Just watched a Black Mirror episode, "Crocodile" where they have autonomous trucks that dispense pizza right on the street. Forget flying cars, we need pizza right now.

Which one was that???????? Like which season????

Season 4.

📌

Man, I’ll have to go back and rewatch. I don’t recall it at all. Thank you.

It was a good episode. Reminded me of the Tell Tale Heart.

If you’d only known you’d probably be…just as grouchy about coming back to the office.

I would gladly take a pay cut to work in that office

'Do you walk to work? or get crushed by your lunch?

Would this technically be delivery?

Yeah???

def seems like something a nestle corp would have in its employee break room

I hope the same company has exceptional health insurance.

i would argue it IS delivery... who brought the frozen pizza into the building? not you...

NGL. I’d be pretty stoked about this.

I hope you have good healthcare benefits.

Nope 😔

That looks like a regular sized box of pizza in a miniature room

Holdon a second. I realize we're all making jokes about this thing containing an abused human pizza-maker. But now that I think about it...is this thing just a BARELY modified pick and place machine? Like, the kind that places parts onto printed circuit boards?

Not for nothing, but that process is LITERALLY IDENITCAL to pizza making. You get your board, and populate it with the requested components, along with cheese, which is exactly the same as solder paste. Then it goes into the oven to reflow the cheese. It might literally be the same machine.

I mean, note that I just said "board" without even mentioning that's the same as the crust. The analogy is so close.

Not to be confused with a DiCaprio vending machine. You can only buy stuff from that machine if you're 25 or under.

It's not delivery. It's

Perfect use of that gif

Immaculate Conception collegeofcardinalsreport.com/cardinals/pi...

Does it slice? The pizza vending machine on campus doesn't and it's an utterly inexplicable oversight.

Fold it in half and its a calzone.

The attention to detail to go back and throw in this line

Wait did they add this line because of roof pizza?

absolutely

a delightful bit of retconning

coward

I was going to share it with my students. :(

FR. One fold and you're gold.

This was under an onion article and I thought I was getting duped

Noooo WAY!!!!!

Where the hell do you work?

congratulations on your successes this quarter. management wanted to say thank you by providing you the opportunity to buy pizza

wtf indeed

Wait does it come out hot?!

It’s not vending.

They need a firehose next to that thing because you need to drink a gallon of water after eating one of those 🥤🥤🥤

Office? Sir I believe you're in heaven

Braggart!

Are they free or do you have to pay?

This is a revelation.

I bet it smells crazy in there

Oh hell I didn't even get olfactory. Well played.

That's probably a good sign tbh, I immediately imagined the smell of burning cheese that you used to get when SFO had that open-air pizza kiosk at the end of one of the terminals

Nothing like wood burning in an Airport!!! 😂

The looming signs of a recession hitting you in the face. www.businessinsider.com/frozen-pizza...

Capitalism breeds innovahrrrrggggh!

Well, it’s not delivery.

Employees: We’d love a raise! Mgmt: OK, we’ve listened to your concerns, and yay. Here’s the pizza machine you requested!!

This idea has to be shared with the writers and Ben Stiller for next season's Severance.

Check section 65.747b of your health plan: “Employee use of pizza vending machine will result in a fifteen percent increase in health insurance premiums.”

I can't decide if this is living the dream or a nightmare straight from hell.

Also The Zap Shade is telling you something the monstrous giant Machine Is already telling you

That looks threatening Like I would not want to approach La Machine at 10:26 PM on a Thursday.

And they'll be sitting in there as long as the peanut M&Ms used to sit in those gumball machines when we were kids.

Does it spit out a frozen pizza that you have to cook or is it already cooked?

It says it’s HOT and ready to eat

Like delivery... I think they'll need to rebrand

I guess they're not into delivery.

It's... It's not delivery. It's diGiorno

Seems reasonable compensation for working in the 1985 underground bunker from Day of the Dead. Your work is inherently dangerous, you deserve a nice treat.

"I just wanted a slice!!"

gotta do it for science

lol maybe tomorrow. I’m going home.

I would adore this!

Take that Lumon!

...I can haz?

'DiGiorno: It's not delivery--IT'S BEHIND YOU. ALWAYS BEHIND YOU.'

would

absolutely bleak

-fucks up and slops this out-

That's CEO 101 stuff: workers love pizza.

We're finally ctaching up to Japan

There was a Exposé about that. Chef Boyardee is inside the pizza machine.

It's not delivery, it's de-vending machine.

😂👍🤓

the way i would die if i worked here

The liminality of the balloons… the cinder block… magnified by the brooding menace of a DiGiorno pizza vending machine. I’m waiting for the possessed animatronic to jumpscare right in front of the camera ala FNAF

"We'll have flying cars in the future" The Future: "Pizza vending machines."

Still waiting for this

looks like something straight out of Severance

Literally just here to see if anyone else had this same thought haha

It's the balloons..

I would be soooo fat

It is beautiful.

I'd try it

I would pay money to watch this work. How much per pizza?

I’m gonna get one tomorrow

Is it good It looks like it could work in a pinch

I know where you work!

👀

It's n- It's not- Its- It's not de- It's not deli- It's not- It's not delivery - It's not It's- It's not delivery it's- It's not- It's not deli- It's not - Its- I- It's not delivery it's di- It's not delivery it's diGiorno

Pls post a pict of a pizza from it!🍕

FINE, I’ll get the pizza tomorrow lol

Of course we need a review

Embrace your inner @andrewfleer.com

Was it good?

And if so. I can start tomorrow. What do we do there?

lol waiting for lunch

Good choice. Dare I say, the greatest choice. I’m very jealous of this abomination.

I used to work in a factory that made Digiorno pizza (not sure if any was put into this abomination) but I would like to add, that eating from this really isn't necessary. I do understand the curiosity though.

Oh the comments are getting crazier now. Getting close to locking this down 😂

The comments are split like YOU MUST QUIT IMMEDIATELY, Can I say something without everyone getting mad or WOULD

😂😂😂

you have to ask a coworker "Wow! Is that delivery?"

Look Commish has to serve his people

I mean, it won’t be great pizza but it’s pizza nonetheless.

BRAG

I just want to know what it costs! DiGiornos can be pricey at the store so I can only wonder what one would cost if a machine made one for you!

Will check tomorrow

I didn't know I needed one of those until now

This is the best return to office perk I’ve seen in the last five years

i'm scared to show my italian gf

you know there's a person in there, right?

"We are aware the pizza machine has been dispensing pizzas with the pepperonis appearing to spell out the words 'PLZ HELP.' We are informed that this is a software glitch." - Management

Who wants to go in on one of these with me? Stick it on a college campus and print money.

I mean, what office doesn’t?

What in the name of corpo hell?

Do you work at Lumon?

*instantly messages my boss

Severance ass photo

.... are you accepting interns?

Is life real? Are we blending realities? What is happening? Is it bad if I love this in an 'oh no' kinda way?

I want one!

We took your health insurance and gave you a paid pizza machine in the lunch room instead, please die.

It’s open 24/7. You may never have to go home.

Smells so much better than when an asshole co-worker microwaves fish.

Where do you work and are they hiring?

Now hang on

Is this next on the menu? I think both items are going to make sure you will be visiting the bathroom. 🚽🤢🤮

It's AI, kill it with fire.

What no beer taps?!

This is the America I want to be a part of...

if you press the button to order 38 gallons of blood fall out

How fortuitous, my landlord is now accepting warmed up frozen pizza in lieu of actual dollars for rent payments.

Infinite office pizza party

Now that’s something I could definitely endorse

I haz jeiiez. And I work from home.

Can you cook it in there

It comes out cooked

I was hoping this was the case but still let's bring this back. I can't that a Pizza Machine is my new Easy Bake Oven 2025.

Yeah I could imagine college in the 90s would have been so much easier if I didn't burn all them pizzas in that microwave

It is probable that even the Pizza Rat won’t go near that.

I mean I might trade my stock options for this kind of benefit.

ITS NOT DELIVERY