That is usually the mask abusers have. It’s very sad, because if you know how abusers operate it’s all image based and exactly as you described.

True. My mother comes across very sweet to everyone but the chaos she's wrought can't be seen except by people who've experienced it first hand or recognize why all her grown children would keep their distance rather than that we must all be terrible ungrateful kids.

Watch The Ya-Ya Sisterhood. It doesn't help you get iver it any less, butbit helps you understand. Not an excuse, but definitely gives you perspective to see people's lives turn out worse han you can ever believe and they shoulder that. Humans are extraordinary:the things they go through and survive

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (full movie title)

It is insane how well these people can mask. My abuser was a prof who taught courses on feminism