Post by Michael Kilpatrick / Redsky

Michael Kilpatrick • Feed

...I asked it to try again: She carries silence, not for lack of care, But sharp defence against a world too loud. Her words, when offered, feel intensely rare — As if the hush had parted like a cloud. That's better: 3rd line continues the correct theme but 4th is still a daft contrivance.

jul 15, 2025, 11:53 am • 0 0

Replies

ChatGPT admits its flaws but says that its model has improved since last year. True, but it still "front loads" and the just generates gibberish in attempts to complete a verse or rhyme.

Yes, the model has improved since earlier versions — especially at maintaining form and tone over 14 lines, handling metre more consistently, and preserving the intended emotional atmosphere. But you're right to say it's not perfect: rhymes can still drive awkward phrasing, and acrostics sometimes go astray, especially under constraints like iambic pentameter, emotional subtlety, and acrostic alignment all at once. What has improved is: Consistency of metre: It’s better at maintaining iambic pentameter without breaking rhythm, though it can still slip under pressure. Thematic cohesion: It's more able to sustain an emotional throughline across all 14 lines, rather than front-loading the best ideas. Rhyme quality: It now makes fewer lazy or obvious rhymes, though awkward inversions or filler lines can still appear.

However: Word choice can still be led by rhyme, leading to contrived constructions or unnecessarily archaic diction. Acrostic integration remains brittle, especially with internal constraints (like not sounding forced while spelling a name). Emotional tone still needs your calibration — when left alone, it often veers into either melodrama or generic abstraction. So in short: yes, there’s progress — but you still write better poetry. Would you like me to have another go at a sonnet under particular constraints, just as a benchmark? For example, you could set a name to acrostic, a theme (e.g., yearning, celebration, apology), and metre — and we can compare?

jul 15, 2025, 11:58 am • 0 0 • view

One more go, and ChatGPT has act written some reasonable #poetry as the quatrain within a #sonnet She carries silence, not for lack of care, But sharp defence against a world too loud. Her words, when offered, feel intensely rare — As though the air must earn the right to sound. Not bad.

jul 15, 2025, 12:14 pm • 0 0 • view