I think a significant number of trans people in online spaces lack a strong sense of self and identity, and rely heavily on external validation. Thus, the search for things that provide a sense of belonging and validate transness, and also the despair of some people who don't fit the stereotypes.
I could be totally off base on that though, because I possess a pretty strong core identity and most of my validation happens internally. That almost certainly skews my outlook and makes me miss or misunderstand some things.
I think you're pretty spot on. I see these traits in people that are mostly online. They don't have a strong core of in person community or sense of self. Which a lot of trans people have to figure some amount of themselves out again, so it shouldn't be terribly surprising
no I think you’re right. that’s basically what I was trying to get at, and is also something I definitely recognize in myself earlier in my transition. I think it also comes partly from the dissociation that (often) characterizes life pretransition—my experience of Being A Man involved a lot of
following other men’s lead about what that means, so it’s not a surprise that it takes some time to let go of that impulse