It’s surely also well past time that President Trump was awarded the Booker Prize, half a a dozen Oscars, the Acacia Road Primary School Award for Exemplary Orangeness, the Nobel Prize for Physics, BAGA gymnastics award grade 5 (niche) & at least 3 Cycling Proficiency Bades (possibly even nicher).
I would return my BAGA gymnastics award in disgust.
How entirely expected that she would mispronounce "Nobel", as "Noble"? Someone should put the orange sex-criminals name forward for an Ig® Nobel Prize, just tell him it's bigly super special.
Will he bugger off of he gets the peace price? It's definitely a price I'm willing to pay.
What about "The World's Biggest Liar Contest" - held annually at The Bridge Inn, Santon Bridge, Cumbria? Oooh, Politicians are barred because they're considered too skilled at lying...
I bet Bone Spurs got his Jim fixed it for me badge.
Well, if anyone wanted to know what a country run by fruit would look like... Now we know...
And the Butlins crazy golf champion 1983-onwards.
Yeah but can he take off his pyjamas in a swimming pool and turn them into a float?
Does he already have a Blue Peter badge then?
Really tickled by the BAGA mention.
BAGA, haha, marvellous reference 😂
I do wish she'd start off with "Once upon a time" Then stuff would begin to make sense..
Tango Lifetime Achievement Award?
You forgot the Pritzker Prize for outstanding Architectur in gilding everyday objects 😡
I would love to see you interview him for a two hour session. I think he would say you and your questions were ' nasty '.
And a certificate for swimming a width. Although no one was allowed in the pool for sometime after.
Fuck me.
Also, Make-up artist of the year ,World dancing champion, Sportsperson of the year,Big Lou's Burger and Hog roast challenge winner and The Trump Award for being amazing at everything. Why that completely vile person could even be considered for any award,apart from a prison sentence ,is beyond me.
In these strange times, is it beyond possibility that he could buy a Nobel peace prize?
Feasible!
Though Musk might take him on.
You forgot the Bronze swimming certificate! 🤪
Arnold J Rimmer BSC. (Bronze swimming certificate)
I thought Acacia Road only did yellowness?
I’d also add ISTD Gold bar One Tap (niche!!)
Top drawer Bananaman reference.
You forgot highly commended for his daffodil (niche London Primary schools circa 1967 )
And 10 metre doggy paddle. 👍
Yep this is what happens in the upside down
Certainly a Hugo for his science fiction and fantasy, it's all he spouts.
You forgot to mention 'Paedophile Of The Year' and 'Best Russian Asset In Public Life'.
Brownie Guide Hostess award, Blue Peter Badge, Gold award for egg n spoon race. It doesn’t matter. He will never be happy
Trump can be awarded whatever prize he wants so long as in exchange he does the right things. If we can use prizes to nudge him, I'm fine with it.
The Spoken Word Grammy, awarded to Obama, Clinton and Carter is unlikely to be awarded to Trump for two reasons: he can't write nor speak.
BAGA awards are well beyond his flexibility capabilities. This one was a step too far.
Surely he must be a least Grade 10 Shatner's bassoon...
And the Mrs Joyful Prize for Rafia Work. As any fule kno.
You missed out the the mrs joyful prize for rafia work.
Hey James - I got all the BAGA gymnastics awards and it was no easy feat I'll have you know!! 🤣
Dont forget 25 yards breast stroke.
Maybe the Noble Paedo prize…
Has any previous winner of the Nobel peace prize ever stated they should be awarded the prize before they were awarded it or were their acts of peace purely selfless acts that were rewarded?
You forget the red braid.
Or a Cabbage- Crackerjack! (very old niche )
Bades? We don't need no stinkin' bades.
Oh don’t be silly James! 😂
He probably should have a Jim’ll fix it badge as well.
If someone insisted on signing off their emails with their name and qualifications, my brother would always reply with his name and “CP” for cycling proficient
My school chemistry teacher was called David, with middle name Richard. Signed everything as Dr lastname.
'Acacia Road' gave me a wee flashback to this.
Yeah! I tought of yellowness rather than orangeness
"Noble"?
Surely International Cheesemonger of the Year.
That would be Liz Truss.
I believe she would be a costermonger…
The No Brain Prize?
Or a Pork Market.
He’s even more desperate for one than Beckham was for a knighthood
He'll get his prize the moment they can decide which of the many peaces he has brought about deserves it most.
I won't rest until that man has gotten a MOBO.
And he wants a Gold medal from the RHS for the Rose Garden revamp.
He wouldn’t qualify for a Cub Scout badge
He looked less orange in Scotland. Maybe the climate disagreed with him. He is in for a shock when he gets asylum in Russia.
And Golfer Of The Century.
And his caddy gofer of the year. "Gofor my ball and put it in the middle of the fairway."
I fear he may well miss out on the attendance, citizenship, and kindness awards.
Blue Peter badge? A step too far?
I’m proud of my BAGA 4 badge (that cartwheel was damn hard!) and I will not let this stand if he gets one!
I remember getting a badge for wearing my pyjamas and jumping into the swimming pool, and recovering a rubber brick. Do I now qualify for a Nobel Peace Prize?
Trump was shockingly overlooked for the Scottish Womans Premier League Player of the Year award again last season 😡
Bronze Swimming Certificate, Silver Swimming Certificate…
Trumpy boi found the microdot in the i of the certificate.
I'd be surprised if he made it to tadpole badge.
He can have it all as long as he’s wearing a straitjacket.
The lying house..
I don't believe you've yet awarded him a Ray Liotta. That is a disgrace.
Plus Michigan Man of the year again
BAGA Grade 5 would probably involve being able to stand up neatly for five seconds. He'd struggle.
How does she stand there day after day spouting this utter bilge? Nobel Peace Prize my arse 😂😂😂
Money and power are probably the motivations.
Indeed. She has a large debt to service.
Don't forget miss congeniality.
You forgot that public-speaking prize you won - he should get that, too.
hang on James first things first - has he swum a length in his jimmy jammies, rescued a brick from the bottom of the deep end and resurfaced having inflated his jama bottoms? IF not he is unworthy of any award.
and the Mrs Joyful Prize for rafia work
BAGA!!!!
Don’t forget the miniature hand model award for excellence!
Ye but has he got his Tufty Road Safety badge ?
👍🏼😂😂😂😂
Dont forget the U10s 50-yard breast stroke champion.
Shared with Prince Andrew.
Came to say Cycling Proficiency but you'd already done it.... Bronze swimming badge, to sew on his trunks?
How about width and length badge!
🤣👏👏
He’s already got a Club World Cup
Don’t forget his Duke of Edinburgh Bronze
Give him an EGOT too. 💁🏼
No chance, remember he's got 'bone spurs'..... :)
He deserves a Piece of Prize BS.
And a "Jim will fix it" badge.
He should also get the tremendousness award for fairness in golf, and an honorary lifetime membership in the alligator friendship society.
A spokesperson who doesn't understand the language they supposedly speak. Can we age the Sun so it'll go red giant now? I'm so over this timeline.
I'm sure though the one we hope he quickly comes to deserve is a Darwin award
Is Tufty Club membership a step too far?
Isn't there a 'Best at everything in the world' prize ? That might just shut him up
MBE(massive big eejit?)
……..and the 25yard swimming certificate
I've got a 50m swimming badge he can have.
Not the BAGA award - that's sacrilege! Took me ages to perfect that forward roll for mine :)
You missed out the Blackboard Monitor prize (Sam Vimes)
What about the one for jumping into a swimming pool in your pyjamas from the spring board and diving down to retrieve a house brick?
I don't think he can ride a bike, but I'd like to see him try.
What in the Kim Jong il are you talking about?!
And the cono of the month award, monthly
I have a 25 yard swimming certificate from my junior school and I bet he hasn’t.
If by some lunatic decision by the Nobel committee award him the peace prize, they will immediately lose all credibility amongst right minded people. Alfred will cause a Tsunami in Greenland and the Eastern Seaboard of the #USA when his corpse spins like a dervish in his grave. #DeludedTrumpists.
Looking at Agent Orange, why not the Nobel Prize for Chemistry too?
You neglected to mention his Blue Peter badge and “I was good at the dentist” sticker
What - nothing for golf?
Arnold Palmer Pro-Shot golf champion....?
