I know I can't force him, I just want to have the conversation, and he starts moving towards meltdown when we try to talk about it with him. Got experience? If it was you, what do you think would help? #olderautistic There's so little research on what ND are like and what helps us as we get older
I guess i want the conversation to result in him deciding to do this thing for himself rather than choosing pain and death, because that's what he's choosing and he doesn't want to think about it. And that's guaranteed, that's not just me worrying
and because i do want to persuade him, the PDA comes up strong and it's as good as it being physically impossible for him to converse about it once that happens
God I don't know but I feel for you. So often with PDA there's so much deep breathing, sitting back, skirting around the topic... but also steeling yourself for the sure knowledge that sometimes there's nothing you can do. I guess my only advice is ASK his opinion as much as possible. If you can
get him info dumping about his concerns or whatever, maybe he can talk around it enough to think about it in a non-demand context.
thanks very much and thank you for being understanding of both of us. it's very hard
My advice to allistics is always listen to autistic people. There's likely a reason you don't even know about/he can't explain to you.
i'm not allistic.