Relateable middle-aged post.

I AM SO SPRY AND FIT HOW DARE AIIIEEEEEEEEEE

And there’s Garak rounding the corner.

I’ve never seen him sprint like that

You know he can't bare to see a pair of trousers in distress. He'll have them fixed in no time but you might have to wait awhile for someone to free you from the lift.

GET ME DOWN

Most of the engineering staff have the day off for a Bajoran religious festival. Brad is the only one on duty.

@drjulianbashir.bsky.social BASHIR! COME GET YOUR BOYFRIEND!

Ugh, Miles...Alright, I'm coming.

Thank you

Ouch, my ears...

Sorry, I didn’t see you there.

No, problem, Laren...I'm already partly deaf in this ear anyway...

You want to get that looked at?

I would, but I've lived with it most of my life, explosion went off too close to this ear when I was fighting the Cardassians...

Ahh, gotcha. Used to it.

Yeah...plus, you know me...I carry my scars around...

Yeah, I noticed… the other you doesn’t

Yes, she has her reasons...Me, every injury changed me, every bit of pain I endured from the shrapnel in my thigh to the three inches of skin I had burned off my back...all of it changed me...

Here, let me help AHHHHHHHHHHGGG YOUR OTHER SHOULDER! Sorry, Chief. It'll grow back.

Have you considered the use of Brads for spare parts?

NOW IS NO TIME FOR YOU TO PRACTICE YOUR WRESTLER MOVES

I just checked my calendar and there is only one entry for today: Practice Wrestling Moves (All Day). So you are incorrect, Chief. It is the appointed time.

IS IT YES TIME TO JACK IT??!

That's what you scheduled in the shared neighborhood knitting group calendar.

Ah, that explains the unexpected invite that was forwarded to me. All six of them. I put them in the junk folder.

AWWWWW YEAH, let’s get them boobs out gang and make it a night to keep me warm through the long Big Tancook winters!

I remind you, again, that undergarments are a REQUIRED UNIFORM ITEM. Going "commando" is prohibited by Starfleet regulation. We keep having this conversation, Chief. And next time, just let the pants go, man. They're not worth sacrificing your shoulder, unlike a good day kayaking.

I AM WEARING MY TACTICAL THONG

Are you? I couldn't see it, er...in there. My mistake. Carry on.🤦🏻

That's what you get for farting in the lift and trying to make your escape. Morn isn't taking the blame for you this time.

IT WAS MORN

That won't work Chief. Security footage has caught that slight raise of the your leg and unclenching of your butt cheeks to allow the gas to escape. Besides, Morn's farts are way louder.

I was STRETCHING

Dr Bashir is reviewing the footage right now from multiple angles and I'm sure he will come to a conclusion. Although for some reason he wants to keep a copy of the recording for science.

you wore your tearaways again, didn’t you?

MAYBE

Have you tried turning your pants off, then on again?

THAT IS THE FIRST THING I TRIED

Oh gee, it's up to my knee. Oh my, it's up to my thigh. Oh fiddle, it's up to my middle. Oh heck, it's up to my neck. Oh dread, it's upmmmmmmmffffffff... (𝘊𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘚𝘩𝘦𝘭 𝘚𝘪𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘪𝘯)

New title for that one: Chief's Turbolift Turbowedgie.

FOR GODS SAKE MAN. RETIRE ALREADY.

NEVER

Thank goodness you were wearing your tactical thong. Disaster narrowly avoided.

ALWAYS

All right, Chief, it's okay, let's just walk you back out of the-- bit stuck-- out of the lift and sit you down until... Chief you really need to sit down. Chief. CHIEF PLEASE DON'T TAKE THE ESCALATOR

How did you get the beans above the frank?

AGHSenator! Hello! Er, I, that is to say, the Chief experienced an earlier incident with the replicator that *super* matched euphemism with biology. Gosh you walk quietly.

HURRRRRRRRRRRRR

The 'Accidental Stripper' routine isn't going to work on me, Chief! Harumph!!!

GET ME DOWN

“Aw, I tore my pants”

HOW DID YOU GET THIS CLASSIFIED FOOTAGE

You’re not fooling anyone, those are your tear-away pants

And a tear-away shoulder...

Any pants are tear-away if you apply enough force.

YES BUT THE BUTTON GOT CAUGHT IN THE THRESHER

JUST ADMIT YOU PLANNED THIS!!

To transport a thresher, cement mixer and wood chipper via the lift to Upper Pylon 3? Yes.

Using the lift doesn’t leave a use log like using the transporter would, giving you plausible deniability

Chief got his rip off pants deliberately caught in the turbo lift? Garak! New rush job for the chief when we have unstuck.

....you may need more durable pants. And possibly a more durable shoulder.

YA THINK??!

Here I thought that was a tactical tear-away feature!

NOT LIKE THIS

We told you to get rid of that bloody dangerous open lift the bloody Cardies left in that bloody station.

I’ve since renounced that slur and apologized for my behavior

Don't tell me you stopped calling them "Spoon Heads" as well....

Yes. I’m against all slurs.

You and your pants again…

EVERYONE HAS PANTS

Some have skants. 🤷‍♀️

Most can hold on to their pants, chief!

I HAVE A CONDITION

*Looks up losing pants condition* Erm, chief?

I have a theory I'd like to test. I have heard it proposed that there is an "O'Brien must suffer" quantum field around the Miles O'Briens of all known realities. With your permission, I would like to attempt scans for this field.

STOP SCANNING AND GET MY PANTS OUT OF THE WOODCHIPPER

So, the good news is, Garak has managed to save your pants. The bad news is, Julian couldn’t save your shoulder and human replacement arms are on back order Good news: he’s got a spare Caitian arm he can temporarily graft onto you! Bad news: @theolalfer.bsky.social may try to snack on you

Where is the doctor hiding cat parts...? 🤔

If you were to meet a Kzinti, I wonder whom would try to eat whom first. Either way, the station's Animals & Allied Clades Union local has filed several thousand complaints about you on behalf of its more feline members.

High-security medical supply area. Garak set up the security system for Bashir as a birthday present. Anyone attempting to access it without proper authorization gets added to the inventory by the defense system.

Why do I have a sudden urge to knock this mug off my desk

Because the mug in question belongs to Quark?

There are easier ways to get Doctor Bashir in your pants, Chief. Follow me for more relationship tips.

I LOVE MY WIFE

We know. We also know you like Julian just a bit more.

Well at least your not screaming about a possessed replicator shooting out tasty treats and dont even think about bring food in this conversation chief

My pot of chili—FALLING out of my HANDS—NOOO

So that is your explanation . . . You do know Keiko clearly does not mind.

AIIIEEEGHEGEHAHALALAAL

Chief, just how are you wearing pants? Ripping them really shouldn't harm your shoulder.

Official station business only please, Chief. This is your last warning. On that note, we're getting complaints about a "torrent of profanity" on the Promenade near the starboard lift? Can we get security over there?

BLOODY HELL

That engineer is *back* on the lift again!