A Reuben. 1) It's on rye. Rye allergies can be SERIOUS. 2) Sauerkraut is acidic enough to be a battery, it's wet, and it smells to high heaven. Good luck getting the smell off without a shower and/or washing machine. 3) Hot. Melted. Cheese. Great to eat, less so to have in your eyes. Cont...
4) Thousand Island dressing. On its own or in anything NOT a Reuben, it's an abomination. A vile, viscous vitriol that'll stain the shit out of your clothes and possible skin. And also... yuck, it's just gross. 5) Reubens are also grilled. This ain't some soft Wonderbread shit; it's got CHAR.
Also, 1000 Island is a sin against God and Man and I'm glad someone else understands
The words "sandwich" and "manifesto" both come to mind...
LOL - oh, I had this answer CHAMBERED, baby. I've put some *thought* into this one. 😉