Post by Diedrich Bader / Redsky

It's in the fine print on almost all standard marriage packages, you have to hammer out those details before you sign Unfortunately, the spider clause is generally handled in the dealbreaker section of the contract, so its usually a take or leave it sitch

aug 3, 2025, 4:50 pm • 1 0 • view

This is some pre marital shit. Come on man

aug 3, 2025, 6:46 am • 7 0 • view

It NEVER CAME UP

aug 3, 2025, 6:48 am • 15 0 • view

Live and learn

aug 3, 2025, 6:51 am • 4 0 • view

Is it too late to get a new wife? Thats pretty much a warcrime irrc

aug 3, 2025, 8:18 am • 4 0 • view

aug 3, 2025, 10:04 am • 5 0 • view

My dude, if there’s a spider there, it will make itself known. Might not be so bad. How do you look in red & blue web pattern tights?

aug 3, 2025, 1:03 pm • 1 0 • view

Sorry to hear about your impending divorce

aug 3, 2025, 5:24 pm • 0 0 • view

I have an arachnid clause in my pre-nuptial agreement that this behavior would violate. It's boilerplate stuff, really. Lawyer up, dude!

aug 3, 2025, 1:30 pm • 1 0 • view

So a spider could still be in your hair?

aug 3, 2025, 6:50 am • 9 0 • view

Off topic, but you were just on my TV! I watched The Blackening for the first time. You nailed it 😂

aug 3, 2025, 7:21 am • 2 0 • view

Thanks! Fun cast

aug 3, 2025, 5:21 pm • 3 0 • view

aug 3, 2025, 4:09 pm • 1 0 • view

🤣😂🤣 The movie scene writes itself

aug 3, 2025, 7:39 am • 5 0 • view

“in sickness and in health” does not include spiders, everyone knows that

aug 3, 2025, 4:02 pm • 58 1 • view

✅ better ✅ worse ✅ richer ✅ poorer ✅ sickness ✅ health 🚫 spiders

aug 3, 2025, 6:27 pm • 1 0 • view

Especially for someone who is arachnaphobic. My sister is, and when we were kids, she would have me take care of any spiders she found in her room. In the arachnid world, I'm on a list, somewhere...

aug 3, 2025, 4:11 pm • 4 0 • view

I’m afraid that’s right; I checked with Mrs. Alito.

aug 3, 2025, 4:10 pm • 0 0 • view

Otherwise it would say: "and spiders"

aug 3, 2025, 4:08 pm • 0 0 • view

Duh!

aug 3, 2025, 6:52 am • 2 0 • view

And it's getting to garden spider season, which is terrifying.

aug 3, 2025, 8:19 pm • 0 0 • view

aug 3, 2025, 6:55 am • 1 0 • view

I can hear your screams. From Seattle.

aug 3, 2025, 3:04 pm • 1 0 • view

aug 3, 2025, 8:10 am • 5 0 • view

See, this is because you don't have a FRO. If my husband walks through a spider web, he can't come into the house until he shakes his fro and I thoroughly inspect his fro. GET YOU A FRO 😂

aug 3, 2025, 8:46 am • 4 0 • view

True story! Ahahahaha

aug 3, 2025, 1:53 pm • 3 0 • view

Not pleasant, and my condolences. But it's better that you now know.

aug 3, 2025, 1:07 pm • 1 0 • view

A likely story. But I’ll just leave message. You can call me back.

aug 3, 2025, 11:58 am • 1 0 • view

Just assume there is, and take a silkwood shower immediately.

aug 3, 2025, 6:43 pm • 0 0 • view

Well....yeah! Why would she risk getting a spider on her? When they say you have to sacrifice sometimes, for the marriage...

aug 3, 2025, 11:36 am • 1 0 • view

It’s an appropriate line

aug 3, 2025, 12:02 pm • 1 0 • view

aug 3, 2025, 11:55 am • 1 0 • view

I’m #teamwife on this one. 🤣

aug 3, 2025, 3:50 pm • 1 0 • view

This is a thing that should be discussed while dating.

aug 3, 2025, 1:24 pm • 1 0 • view

aug 3, 2025, 1:02 pm • 1 0 • view

To be fair - it’s a lot of hair.

aug 3, 2025, 4:31 pm • 2 0 • view

See, I would totally do that for my husband. Of course, he's bald, so its pretty easy to scoop them up and take them outside. 🕷

aug 3, 2025, 4:08 pm • 1 0 • view

i think her point is more of “if it’s there I’ll be able to see it fine”.

aug 4, 2025, 1:34 pm • 0 0 • view

There’s an app for that.

aug 3, 2025, 1:37 pm • 1 0 • view

Yeah. I feel her there. Not all that fond of bugs, particularly ones with many legs and sometimes hair. My spouse does the insect removal in our home, too.

aug 3, 2025, 1:04 pm • 1 0 • view

Well....seems a bit unfair, but if she finds one,then what? This needs a game plan

aug 3, 2025, 8:03 am • 1 0 • view

My girlfriend asked me to take a spider out once, so I did. I took the spider to the pub and he was a really nice guy. Turns out he's a web designer too !!!

aug 3, 2025, 10:13 am • 6 0 • view

I'm a gardener in the tropics and hardly a day goes by when I don't walk through a spider web or 5 !!!

aug 3, 2025, 10:09 am • 4 0 • view

Spider looked great, though.

aug 3, 2025, 12:57 pm • 1 0 • view

I mean, fair

aug 4, 2025, 1:40 am • 0 0 • view

aug 3, 2025, 6:57 am • 3 0 • view

My sister had no grace for spiders. We’d just moved to a new home in the sticks; I was 15, she 11. “Out of nowhere…” 4 huge spiders came out from under the crack of the garage door into the kitchen. 1 at a time. We’d think it was over, another would come out. Started there 🙃

aug 4, 2025, 5:46 am • 0 0 • view

Good to find out now, I guess

aug 3, 2025, 7:27 am • 1 0 • view

My ex would have got a can of hairspray and a lighter...

aug 3, 2025, 6:49 am • 3 0 • view

She's keeping the spark alive, Big D. Keeping the surprise in the equation

aug 3, 2025, 12:00 pm • 1 0 • view

Spider Spat Spoils Sabbath! Diedrich Ditches Dulcy!

aug 3, 2025, 6:54 am • 3 0 • view

There’s like one positive association with spiderwebs in all of western culture* If you’ve destroyed a masterpiece by Charlotte (you monster), you’re on your own *Spider-Man** is not generally associated with web building, just web slinging **good luck with your new Spidey senses!!