to put it another way, it's important for white people to not pile on individual white people for some racist shit *when the pile on is used to hide (consciously or not) one's own racism*, and there can be growth, learning, healing there. Black people don't need to hear about that *at all* though.
(same thing for basically every relationship of violent privilege; non-queer queer "allies" roasting transphobes/homophobes but not interrogating how their own behavior harms queer ppl around them, men championing women; the list is long)
(final ramble follow up: men gloating about how awesome and feminist they are to women MIGHT end up getting them laid, but explaining and living feminism around other men might be a bit more helpful! [obviously women noticing a man's feminism isn't bad, but it doesn't demand a parade])
I get and am with you on what you’re saying, fwiw. You’re talking a lot more broad than I intended. I was surprised when I saw him sort of take the hits in public & thought ‘that’s different’ The original thing was about he & Pam A., which I don’t really care about anyway