oooh i like that. i don’t usually go for nicknames for these guys but that’s good.

I’d rather call him Korsakov, like I call the other fElon Ketamine.

Or MuSSk.

Who runs teSSla into the ground

Did you see this one?

Genius! Whoever did this really REALLY needs to do the rest of them! 😆😆😆

🤣😂 the other on I've been seeing around is Kegsbreath

I'll write a country song tomorrow. Tonight I only had the limerick in me. There once was a drunkard named Pete Whose IQ was far from elite. He held a group chat About drones and combat Now he's sounded the "oopsie" retreat.

what do you call it when Pete Hegseth pisses? whiskeyleaks

Political cartoon of this when 😂

🤌🤌

🎶He is a whiskey Pete He is a vodka Pete He is a lager Pete He is a cider Pete🎶

I sang it pissing the night away

Don't cry for meeee Donny boy... Donny boy...

😂😂😂

Ohhhhh God he's dumb God he's dumb Fuck he's duuuuuuuumb

Saw yesterday, Pete Kegbreath, and that’s my keeper.

it's just classic and perfectly fitting isn't it Marisa? It's definitely gonna stick

Hogsbreath is noteworthy as well

I saw "Kegseth" somewhere, too

works

The apex is the nickname for Trump when he kept falling asleep at his trial — Don Snoreleone — but this is a very close second

I don’t like to make fun of alcoholics. I love to make fun of one alcoholic. His name is Pete Hegseth, have you heard about this guy

Whiskey Leaks!!

Pete KEGSBREATH

Annnns now I’m thinking about whiskey dick 🥴

...shit, that's perfect.

Pete Kegsbreath

That’s gonna stick

It's a good thing the jokes/memes about this are so funny, because the alternative to laughing would be screaming uncontrollably into the void

Hittin' a lil' too close to home. Saving that.

Yeah whoever I ganked it from did us both a service

WhiskeyLeaks and Gov Hot Wheels are both perfect.

Fuck, that’s good

“New phone; houthis?” Is the funniest thing I’ve seen

And also not laughing at a war crime of killing 50 or so civilians

I first saw it on r/Military subreddit and I hope an enlisted guy came up with it.

A tiktoker suggested that he used ChatGPT to come up with the Yemen timeline, based on the formatting and some other things, which would be WILD if true. Don’t know how reliable that is, but at this point it wouldn’t be unbelievable. He’s such a fuck up 🤦🏻‍♀️

OK, so far we’ve got: WhiskeyLeaks Road Ruler Rocky Horror Picture Noem Leavitt-on-the-Nightstand Cruella dEVILle Who am I missing?

Oh shit, I left the best one off the list. My apologies to Pee-Wee German.

Legally Bondi Barbie

Oh wow, Legally Bondi is perfect. It’s added to the list!

#WhiskeyLeaks

very good.

📌

🤣

Please report to the Penta-gone

Ugh, AI slop 🤮 without even any alt text 🤮🤮🤮

He texted me.

I love that one. But I spell it “Whiskileaks”. Do you think the spelling matters?

i call him rubby pete

I can’t help but think of the South Park rat

Someone called this the Iran-Cointreau affair and I enjoyed that very much. SecDef? More like Triple SecDef.

As we were taking o'er the NatSec apparatus I met with an editor and his contact it was added. We planned the attacks on the Houthis on a Signal then the editor discovered he could see what we had chatted.

They’re so dumb diddle-iddle-idle-dumb Whack fall security Whack fall security There's a journo in the group (Friends have added more verses and a better refrain)

Someone needs to check his car for whiskeydents, too.

Oh, that IS good.

Excellent!!!!

I like Sloe Gin SecDef, but I am an Old Fashioned girl.

ok that's actually funny

That's a damn T Shirt right there I tell you!

Well at least it’s not WOKEYleaks

This episode of Drunk History is really strange

Old Blood and Guts Patton Storman Norman Schwartzkopf Desert Fox Rommel Black Jack Pershing Wild Bill Guarnere Old Ironsides Cromwell Whiskeyleaks Hegseth

I think we should take a page from Dan Savage’s playbook, and turn his name into a neologism: hegseth (verb): to send text messages while drunk. ex “My ex hegsethed me last night - I should really block his number.”

That strategy has worked out great for Rick Santorum's political career. Let's hope it has the same effect on the new!

I love that nickname and Bullshit Barbie for Pamela Bondi.

thats no way to talk about our triple sec def

Love it!

This whole thread is making me very happy. Well done, everyone 👏👏

Whiskey Tango Hegseth.

Thanks to The Daily Beans - I will forever hum “What will we do with a drunken SecDef” every time I hear his name.

@SecDef stupidly added all the war details. #ResignHegseth

#Whiskeyleaks -> #Leavenworthy

#WhiskeyLeaks from #WhiskeyPete will be hard to top. But you know these people, it won’t be from lack of trying.

Beats mine. bsky.app/profile/stev...

Don’t mind as out on Pete Kegsbreath

Miss out on - fucking spell”check”

It’s definitely my favorite

The Art of War by Pete "DUI Hire" Hegseth The greatest war plans are that which requires an app that teens like the DOGE Kiddos download from the Apple Store to text dick pics.

Leaky Whiskey-dick is maybe a bit wordy, but provides more context.

...Trump has no idea how Hegseth can be faulted. Also, here is Trump's ACTUAL mugshot (for no particular reason)

Who's the pudgy timeshare salesman?

I like it

I thought Kegseth was pretty great as well

Ha Ha that’s excellent

💀💀💀💀

This is the first time I've seen this and I actually laughed out loud 😂

He also hates being called a DUI Hire too! 🥃😋

"Agent 0.08" is also pretty great.

Yes it is

That's mean and actually unfactual because he's a vodka drinker

Drunken asshole always seemed on point.

Secretary Cirrhosis takes exception!

Hahaha

Triple Sec Def