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audiobook for illiterates

Now what we're not going to do is shame audiobooks

OK, but is there even a print version?

Yes there is. I’m sorry, but I encounter many things I am supposed to “read” and they exist only as YouTube videos, which I have to caption and speed up. I have severe vision problems myself, though.

I mean audiobooks are accessibility for people with vision problems but I also just use them so that I can do other manual things while listening to a book.

The print version is $30 for pre-order on Amazon.

orange balls bad

A reminder that Clay Travis's biggest pet peeve is men who put on their shirts before their pants in the locker room.

I think I’ll go tell my husband how awesome he is. Because I am so damn sorry for any heterosexual woman who is single at this point. You poor gals have so much bullshit to parse, it’s like you’re Olivia Benson.

Clay Travis, naturally.

At least have one ball lower than the other, geez… No imagination on the right

Too long won't read

And by long, I meant it sounds like an utterly ridiculous waste of time.

🙄

Over the years those basketballs will droop lower and lower in the graphic.

as they start floating higher and higher in the bathtub.

No beer or nascar? Not all bases were covered.

O/U 3 chapters dedicated to how hot his wife is.

Oh, so glad to hear we're saved. Phewy!

Win one election by 1.5% and like I get flexing policy but they think they won the culture in a way that’s going to look really fucking silly soon.

By a 1.5% plurality, not even a majority.

A manly mandate.

There’s a very dumb sort of gen x man who thinks transphobia won trump the election over all available evidence. Hence why they are running transphobic ads again for the midterms where they will do nothing.

Foreword is surely going to be written by Riley "5th place" Gaines

Balls died for our sins. Have you accepted Balls as your Lord and Savior?

Diamond strength hard pass

Balls of clay, as it were.

Also, if America has already been “saved”, then why are these bozos still griping?

They need to quit stealing valor from basketball. These NBA Jam thumb jockeys are terrified of stepping onto even the most mundane urban court in any major metro.

Helpfully unsubtle (and desperately insecure) cover. I came home once and Jordan Peterson’s 13 Rules for Whatever was on the coffee table. When I reacted like it was a dead rat, my very not online wife said guy at bookstore recommended it. Clay’s little balls aren’t fooling anybody.

I like the Washington Teabaggers to go all the way this year.

"dropped", ur ur ur. I'll see myself out.

Motherfucker is probably already booked on Rogan.

for 90% of the people who read this book, it’ll be the only book they read that year

And 90% who CLAIM to have read it just bought it and put in on their desk.

why read when chatgpt will summarise it for them

(and that’s not a statement of “at least something is getting those guys to finally read a book”)

At first I thought it was written by “Big Balls”

I’m waiting for the AI written sequel “How Big Balls and Tiny Hands Saved ‘Merica”

This will be embarrassing when The Greatest Depression starts

If their balls are that big, they ought to see a doctor.

The pudding guy

New caveat to the John Waters quote just dropped

America has been saved? I guess I'll just calm the fuck down then.

That’s legitimately one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen.

I’m just waking up but imagine I said something funny about MAGA being all balls and no dick

I think that is counter to everyone’s experience of MAGA being all dicks and having no balls

They seem to think about dicks and balls alot considering how they seem to talk a lot about how they are super heterosexual manly men, who just like to talk about dicks and balls.

Why does dystopia have to be so lame? We have all the techno feudalist kleptocracy and lowest common denominator punditry but with none of the sweet leather jackets or robot eyes. Fucking ripoff.

Good ol KKKlay Travis

Just drenched in manliness.

The fuck is this?

There’s a subgroup of men in the world that will never get over the thrill of being able to see their genitalia right out here in the open, no matter how many times they take off their pants. Like, a complete lack of object permanence, and every time it’s just, “Holy cats, woudja look at that!!!”

Why’d it have to be classic orange basketballs

Trumpers think about dicks 24/7. It’s so weird

Well, now they’re thinking about balls too! Aren’t you happy America exists?

It’s kinda similar to all the religious conservatives who are obsessed with rooting out pedophiles and are later proven to actually be pedos.