Why hasn't he been seen for 2 days? Why is he staying at the WH and not heading to MAL on a long weekend? Why hasn't he personally posted to his crappy social app? (the post earlier today was clearly not him) Why was there a pizza spike at the Pentagon tonight? Inquiring minds want to know...

Mar a lago must mean “sea and lake” and I think that’s some pretty weak sauce

What about the blurry post of a gnat or something on the camera? Or possibly the yawning maw of oblivion?

How did I know to start my re-read of Destiny Of The Republic by Candice Millard tonight?

Before I DM you, we are talking about Pedro Pascal’s celebrity throuple, right? I don’t want to send unsolicited you know.

Shit if you have a scoop about that I want to know. Not telling anyone, just for my personal edification.

I keep seeing posts that give me hope, but they have no context! What is happening?!? Is the orange bitch dying???!!!

Wait...is this referring to what i think it's referring too?

I fear he is just gonna show up at China's military parade with Puti and Kim, because his sucked so bad.

God I hope you break the story then immediately post, "Tom Homan is still a bitch."

Jake Tapper is all over this story, right? 🤔

I'm not a reporter, but I used to have a blog and I make a very good zucchini bread, so tell me and we'll have tea or something.

If you get this scoop I’ll buy a sub to The Handbasket.

What did I miss now?

TFG has been MIA since Wednesday and has no events scheduled for the near future

Babes if you get to break this i am going to stroke out

Hate to burst some bubbles, but this will be the likely scenario, even if you-know-what happens. Vought and Miller and Vance will want to buy as much time as they can to keep the American deconstruction going, so it may be a while before anyone admits anything.

They did it with Republican Congresswoman Kay Granger. They stuffed her in a memory care home and covered it up for many months that her constituents were without representation.

😂

I saw a woman dancing naked in her backyard, but I didn’t put it together until just now.

If you have information on "the event" signal me at NathanTankus.01 a minute after you signal Marisa

Can we have a phone tree?

Counterpoint: If you have information on "the event" please just tweet it out. We all want to know NOW!!

After you tell Marisa and Nathan, tell me. I'm not a reporter I'm just a guy who likes to know stuff

I'm a nosy bitch please DM me next as well

what are reporters if not people who just like to know stuff?

Just hoping you're the one to break it And soon. 🤞🏻

Well you can write some readable text after you get to know stuff, I can only cry

☝️☝️👏👏

People who just like to know stuff and are gooder at words than the average people who just like to know stuff. Also occasionally possess motivation to communicate the stuff.

Leftist rabble rouser in rural MN ericleitzen.99

Leftist rabble rouser in Detroit, married to 2021’s co-sportswriter of the year in Michigan! megaholt.02

I want to be on this phone tree.

Let's take the group chat to signal

👊🇺🇸🔥

I love your kindness in letting @marisakabas.bsky.social break news first!

is this like a phone tree bc sign me up

It's fortunate we already have a "Pentagon pizza delivery" indicator for this event. If book sales spike, we know:

the other event

Are the Veep and cabinet members out and about in the last couple of days?

They would try to dump it into late Friday news slot on a holiday weekend.

Why do I feel like a kid who can't sleep on Christmas Eve 😆

For some reason I’m reminded of this scene tonight. 😂

👌🏻😂

Imagine breaking THAT story.

imagining you breaking the news and NYT still not crediting you now

“New York Times didn’t credit me” Beyond just being the right thing to do, it also is inherently bad journalism Example: When the Southern Baptist Convention released report detailing leaders coverup of a sex abuse crisis NYT didn’t mention the investigations our team did to prompt such disclosures"

Yeah but they would be the first publication to write the, "trump is dead, this is why it's bad for Joe Biden" story.

100% what they'd do

Facebook: it could rain tomorrow. Here’s three ads about umbrellas. Mastodon: here’s 14 Linux distros that anyone can install in less than a week. Bluesky: IS HE DEAD YET? IS HE DEAD? I HEARD THAT HE’S DEAD, IS HE DEAD?

X: [racial slurs]

That's such a narrow view of X as a platform. They write all sorts of slurs.

Woke my wife up laughing omg

Lmao at the Mastodon comment

Shadows lurk

😂😂😂

It would be so incredible if you broke this.

Is he dead?

Do you hear people in the streets singing "Ding Dong the Witch is Dead," honking horns, setting off fireworks and beating their frying pans? That would give it away.

Ding Dong the Don is Gone.

I think it would be very hard to keep the lid on if he were already dead as he's always had the LEAKIEST of administrations, but it's possible he's very sick.

Not officially…

What did I miss?!!

Then of course you have to tell me, I need the pick-me-up.

Seconded, the motion passes

I appreciate you acting like you already got elected. Dress for the job you want.

Are we just waiting on a second confirmation kind of thing, or are we still in speculation land?

Pure hopium, highly addictive

Just please report it out ASAP

You can tell us in code. Just say to get the tequila ready. We’ll know what you mean.

Just sending you a 🤞🏻 every 20 minutes

Is He Dead Yet?

ok but who do you think would not attribute it to you first

if you hear something but can't confirm it yet, please start posting champagne emojis

Can you tell us what you've heard?

One can only hope

Kudos for this deep cut.

🤣🤣🤣

_ _ _ _?

Jeffrey Goldberg has the chance to do the funniest thing

why has this taken up 100% of my bsky feed within the last 30m, you guys have me scanning fox news looking for a hint of anything

nevermind i figured it out lol

Anyone check the Pentagon pizza tracker? I'm guessing that will be one of the indicators.

*fingers crossed *

Sorry to disappoint, but I know neither where the beef is nor what the family secret is to Bush's baked beans. As for other matters 🤷‍♂️.

Business plot and Nazi money laundering. Oh wait wrong bush family

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I’m really enjoying how we aren’t saying his name, just alluding to things and yet we all know exactly who we are talking about and low key are going feral 😂 I don’t know if you can actually be low key feral but it’s how I feel right this moment

I have no idea what she is talking about. Does that make me dumb?

Joining you in dumbness. What’s going on friends?

trump hasnt been seen for days and no scheduled events

Much appreciated!

this thread is awesome <3

so you see it yet?

If that happens I won’t lie, I’d be tickled pink.

It actually would be crazy town.....and that's saying something

I just hopped on here, so I’m not sure, but I saw this a little while ago and I suspect it might be the topic she’s referencing. youtu.be/JfgNMWQIyCw?...

I did reply to him so check that out. I don’t think anything is going to come out of it but this is most jazzed Friday night I’ve had in a while 😂

Nope 😂 Just not frantically reloading your timeline like the rest of us terminally online folks. There is a certain man who many people do not like who has apparently not been seen since Wednesday and now it’s kind of running away a bit on here. I kind of don’t think we’ll get that lucky but maybe??

I have been to focused on sports then 😅

They are getting the AI videos done of him signing absurd documents, eating a hamburder, walking around the cement garden - basically keeping his image alive. AI version of Weekend at Bernie’s.

Ohhhhhh

Only one of his kind that will have people flooding the streets in a moment of joy. Then we have Vance to contend with and he scares me more.

We really, really need you breaking this story for poetic purposes.

The Handbasket: "Trump Goes to Hell."

me all evening

Where did all of this start? I feel excluded again!

Just that he hasn't been seen since Tuesday. Vance measuring the curtains and looking at couches added to it 😂🤣

Thiel’s boy is getting anxious

😂🤣

Marisa if you get this scoop 😳

i have a lot of confidence in my abilities but i don’t think i have the right sources for this one 😂

Have you tried calling him a bitch? That move has a legit good track record.

Praying you accidentally get added to the "He dead, what do?" Signal chat

"Scoop incoming, lmao" so we all have time to get ready

Never say never

do you know anyone in turkmenistan who can keep watch for randos crawling out of this thing muttering “i’m not gonna spend eternity with that guy”?

Underrated comment

This is hilarious but I have bad news for you www.rte.ie/news/newslen...

"According to an independent journalist, the biggest story of the 21st Century..."

Wait...is JD on vacation?

Wouldn’t it be great if it was, you know, a 2 birds/1 stone kind of thing. 🎉🌅🥹

Monitor flights out of Florida - Vanky needs to be there….

How would we know?

canada waited to ration gasoline until america (three years later) entered ww2, because the USD hard currency brought in by american motor tourists who couldnt visit europe for their holidays was really helpful for canada purchasing american-made weapons to send to britain. this kind of thing?

I think on this thread she is referring to a separate issue…

What’s the rumor? Even if not true, at least I’ll get a good night’s sleep.

He hasn't been seen in 24-48 hours and has no scheduled events for the weekend, on top of, I imagine, the recent Vance interview about his taking over if the worst happened... bsky.app/profile/razz...

But also he was on his website ranting about tariffs as of about 5 hours ago and someone seemingly reposted someone else's post there on his account within the last 3 so I guess he's just staying in a bathroom on his phone for the weekend, maybe?

I read enough of that post to know he didn’t write it. Coherent sentences are someone else’s work, no matter how much stupid capitalization they stick in there.

Thank you very much. I thought the same thing and felt a bit gaslighted that I couldn't find anyone else calling bs.

I’ve done ghostwriting before and one of the key points is to study the language your subject uses to ensure their quirks are retained. The person who ghostwrites Trump’s TS posts gets that they need to put in random capital letters but not much else. The non-Trump-written posts are pretty obvious.

Hopeful news! I think it's part of why people are ignoring it. At least seeing him in person/knowing he's scheduled for something is more verifiable for proof of life.

I know he’s failing, it’s written all over him. But I don’t think he’s there yet. But I haven’t hoped to be wrong about something this much since the day I told my son’s pediatrician that I thought he might have diabetes (which I was unfortunately right about).

He has minions to tweet for him.

Possible, hence why I said "someone" because it might not be him. But mostly I was pointing it out because it's the only "people are overreacting" thing I saw on one thread and went to verify it and yup, that's it. A post and a re"truth" or whatever. Might not even be him.

THE RUMOR.....

Which news org will be the first not to credit your scoop?

What's the context here?

So I was planning to go to bed, and it sounds like maybe I shouldn't go to bed? Because there are some things that I don't want to miss because I'm a deep sleeper.

Considering how it's based on a lack of appearances and a schedule, I think you can sleep tonight.

Is anyone tracking where the kids are or what they're up to? That would be a good indicator of what's happening.

I absolutely believe they would tell Eric last. He looks like a squealer.

Ivanka's in town today www.irishstar.com/news/us-news...

yo, hit me up too. I'm not a reporter or anything, I'd just like to know before other people. tia.

My brain read this in Robertt Stack's voice and it would totally work. Tonight on Unsolved Mysteries the President is missing, help solve a brutal triple murder, and finally is this doll haunted?*Creepy Music*

And if you have any information about that just DM me here. I mean I’m not a reporter or anything, I just want to know as soon as possible.

He's stressed about that court ruling blocking his tariffs and his right to ruin the world economy.