She is awesome, of course, but not the awesome young girl, growing up fast, that she was in Istanbul, despite all the polishing she received in the Seraglio. He knows nothing of her development since, and has barely thought of her till he discovers her to be in danger at Berwick. At their first /2
So I was thinking about this more - do you really make cracks about wedding nights with someone that you canโt imagine having any interest in?
I donโt plan to die on this hill, btw. It will fade soon enough and I will revert to the classic understanding of the anvil scene.
I'm not arguing that you're wrong, just that there is a very short amount of time available, and if it happens it's part of a very fast sequence of events.
One might even speculate that it might occur between the first "Bravo" and "Languish lock in L"
And just maybe the key that unlocks the possibility even of that lies minutes earlier when he's play-sword-fighting with Nicholas and he laughs, and P declares she's never heard him laugh before.
Was there perhaps a thought, maybe even an unconscious one, that said "Maybe she's right, I haven't laughed for a long time, and she caused it". Or maybe I'm just an old romantic ;-)
Gentlemen!
2/ encounter he learns she is politically astute and has learned languages and culture and makes connections. But that meeting ends badly and he has a severe headache. It's only in their second meeting that he flirts a little and then they are off to Blackfriars, where he relaxes properly for /3
first time as they indulge in wordplay, so if he gives himself permission it's in that very short period before the stands fall, and after that the thoughts on the way back in the boat rapidly develop to a wave of reflexion and admiration that is then engulfed by an emotional breakthrough. /4
See also the preceding passage where lies a hint. "Of its (the journey's) significance he himself had no inkling when he set out, relaxed by the company a trifle more than was usually possible..." He has no warning - it all happens between leaving in the barge and returning with her.