I learned from friends and their parents as well as trial and error. I had the same kind of experience. Any time I tried to learn skills from my parents, I was told, “children were meant to be seen not heard” or that I was a know-it-all who would probably burn down the house.
I am so grateful that I surrounded myself with people with the experiences that I needed to learn who were willing to teach. As much as I had a hard time with my ex, it is because of him I learned to drive. Unlike with my dad, he felt it was important and was nurturing with it.
I had a friend with a mom who was very good with cooking that would let me watch her and even seemed happy that I really enjoyed her approach. And another friend taught me that if you do even the smallest chore when depressed, it’s a good way to get yourself out of the funk.
“It takes a village”. It sucks when you’re only cared for by the village and neglected/abused by your parents but it kept me wanting to live and become more independent and accomplished, and I always try to be an active member of the village now, as an adult, helping kids that are growing up like me