The easiest and fastest way for Trump to get to Heaven is to apologize to the world and resign.

I was under the impression that you gave away money if you wanted to go to heaven, not beg for it.

I think that is the wrong approach 🤔

Step one involves no longer living.

You have a strange way of showing it

If only Hell we’re real

Agree. Wish I believed in it.

remember when the Catholic church took payment for getting out of purgatory faster? it's like that....

Not good for property values up there. But a fair trade off if he acts fast.

youtu.be/H6GfysUGVZQ?...

I assume it's a fundraising appeal? He hasn't heard about the camel and the needle's eye?

He was seen on his way to go golfing this morning. Donald Trump Spotted Heading to Golf Course Amid False Online Death Rumors www.tmz.com/2025/08/30/d...

I guess if you call looking like death warmed over as "alive and well".

Spoilsport.

I know < sigh > I’m a realist.

was my response too. I appreciate decent reporting but the uncertainty was fun. Like that space between buying a lottery ticket and before the numbers are drawn.

🤣 good analogy!

He looks alive anyway. Mostly.

It was like a dopamine hit.

Uhhhhh

Is that a suicide note?

Forgot to add:

Well hurry up!

Isn't it a federal crime to help the president of the US go to heaven?

I want him to try to get to heaven as well.

This text is not by him. If it were him, he'd have written: As president, I'm allowed into heaven. No wait and no trying. It's mine."

Never gonna happen!!!!!

@denisedwheeler.bsky.social This can't be real. Lol What a world.

There is no heaven. If Trump exists, God doesn't.

Haha. But for the kind of person who believes in fantasy deities, Trump can obviously exist simultaneously. What makes less sense though, is that the USA's Christians appointed someone with all the obvious traits of an AntiChrist as POTUS, and expected him to bring them closer to heaven.

Fantasy deities are manifestly unreal: they actually do things.

I believe that Evangelicals hope Dementia Don would bring about the Second Coming of Christ. I don't think it matters to them if he's an antichrist as long as they continue this absurd belief.

Irony, that they want to bring about an event which, if it were real, would end in their hearing, "I never knew you."

Are they desperately trying to hoover up as much $$ as possible from the gullible magas before the announcement??

If there is a heaven I shall hope he never sees it; he joins a long list of terrible people who should be in for a terminal and perpetually miserable BBQ. But he could do with making the attempt to reach it far sooner rather than later.

Let me guess, it's selling something

It's always about the grift! I'm sure he believes God smiles down on those who are richer than anyone else on the planet.

Right, because he doesn't read the Bible!

If this is real, somebody needs to tell him that ship sailed when he threw rocks at the neighbor's baby for target practice. He's been on the express down escalator to hell for years.

He is on the express train to Hell. Too late now to change that. PS: Save this as it may be a post mortem grift by his cohorts.

Good grief

are we sure someone didn’t tell President Epstein he’s dying? this is like the fourth time he’s bitched about going to hell this month.

Be my guest

Jesus

Try harder.

@denisedwheeler.bsky.social Too late.

LFG!!!

Heaven has rules

If he wants to get into heaven, theoretically he needs to come clean and acknowledge and atone for all his misdeeds before he dies. That ain't happening.

He would never. He's said on more than one occasion that he doesn't believe he's done anything that requires atonement. His lifetime of lying, cheating, stealing, doing things he could've stopped but didn't want (that got people killed Covid pandemic) to, will keep him from heaven.

I'm pretty tired of his presence on this plane of existence, that I can tell you.

"Access Denied" - w all due respect, love God & Jesus

Send ladders.

Or shovels. He’s not going anywhere near heaven.

Pffff! Fat chance 😂

Because he has some form of dementia...they say it like it is. It is as if his soul is praying that he goes to heaven...as a plea of sort?

Hello there darlings! / I'm MAGA's Uncle Donny, / And I welcome you to MAGA's Holiday Camp! The camp with a difference! / Never mind the weather! / When you come to MAGA, the holiday's forever! Get your MAGA T-shirts and your stickers / And your MAGA mirrors to smash!

Don't rush...keep steady! / Have your money ready! Buy your way to heaven. / That comes to one pound seven. Bless you love.

The sooner, the better.

I think the red in the ledger is too great

Lol, Tacograbapuss won't make it to the 25th of September.

I know Step 1!

Haha he's trying to be like Gavin Newsom but it's falling flat. Super weak Taco sauce

Unless he pulls the greatest deathbed repentance actions ever made, this motherfucker already has no way into heaven. He will burn in hell forever.

There is a special place in hell for Trump.

This is the funniest thing I've seen all day.

Wut