She is 32, the same age I was when she was born, so she was thinking about how hard I worked to teach her that she didn't have to get married & didn't need to upend her life for any man. She now has met a guy who isn't going to pressure her into marriage or giving up her career. I am thrilled!
Had my girl at 38, 3 yrs ago, and this is exactly what I hope to impress upon her as well 🫶
I am confused why you would not have had all of these choices at 32? What am I misunderstanding?
It’s well known that back in ‘93 women weren’t allowed to attend university or have a career. Also abortions weren’t invented until 2010.
You could go to school and have a career. You just had to accept the fact you would be paid 1/2 as much, be groped by men at work, and treated as a personal assistant no matter your job title. And abortions existed. I never said they didn't. Are you 12 or 18? Or just wanting to be an idiot for fun?
In 93? Are YOU actually 18?
Were you even born then? You sound like an ignorant child. You can leave now or be blocked for stupidity. Choose wisely.
Choose wisely? My god how far up your own ass are you? Yes I was most certainly born by then. Watching my mom work on her PhD and work as a programmer. I’ll have to ask her how she managed between all the groping, the half pay, and inability to *checks notes* have kids.
Fact is, 1993 wasn’t the dark ages, and you had the same choice and options your daughter has- you just chose a different route. Which is fine, just like it’s fine that your daughter is child free and career-oriented by choice.
In 1993, I was evangelical when I was 32. In 1979, I got my 1st store credit card at 18 but that was after fighting the local store for it & all purchases by single women required a 50% down payment. Maternity leave wasn't a benefit in 1981 or 1985 for me & pregnancy was a pre-existing condition.
We're close in age (you're a bit older) but we had different realities. By 32 my career was established and that year I completed my MBA and had my first child. I got my first credit card at 18 but mom co-signed. How did you square being a single mom and evangelical? They're so anti unmarried mom.
I didn't start out as a single mother. lol. I was married at 20, one of the last in my church group to do so as we were in the very evangelical area of NW FL & had my first child 10 mths later. I stayed evangelical until I was 55 bc I taught Adult Singles (mostly divorced) at church for 20 years. /1
So I didn't know any single people my age, just married or divorced or widowed ones. Evangelicals ARE very anti-single parent, but the Adult Singles Groups at church were not. Like me, all married young & the women didn't really have careers but had jobs. I didn't finish college until I was 57. /2
I left the church in 2015, began college again in Jan 2017, first B.S. in May 2020, second B.S. in May 2022. None of that was possible when raising 3 kids alone without a support system. When my youngest when to college, she encouraged me to join her. We have the same degrees. /3
College for women is very frowned upon in SBC circles, &without a support system but with kids, there was no way in terms of time or money that I had the option to go to school any sooner than I did. The pressure in the SBC to get married & have kids is horrible. I did not pass that on to my kids.
I am glad you didn’t raise your kids with those values - that kind of thinking really enslaves women and that just enrages me. I am proud of you for getting your education now…and I hope you continue to work to change the lives of women who have been so oppressed by their church. 1/3
They had high expectations of me for education and I got my BS at a top school. My dad was an alcoholic and died when I was 26. My mom got her GED and associates degree in her late 30s and I got my MBA in my early 30s just before my first kid was born. I too had 3 kids - all in under 4 years! 3/3
3 kids in under 4 years is impressive. I spaced mine 4 years apart (lost the 3rd in a miscarriage, so the last one is 8 years from the middle one). My dad had high expectations of me for education, but by that time, I was in the evangelical cult. Hugs to you for the loss of your dad so young.
My mom did not finish high school - she went to cosmetology school and became a hairdresser- but my dad didn’t want her to work once he got his law degree and they had me. My parents always stressed my education - mom always said “an education is something no one can ever take away from you.” 2/3
Yes, I still work with women who have left the church. I encourage them to get an education, and I help them with resumes, networking, and interview tips. The church wants them trapped, but nothing about that is Christlike, which is what I point out to them.