Apparently "butter" and "noodles" are also considered UPF in this report, at which point it sounds like you have to eat bark and beans with dirt still on them in order for it not to be deemed needlessly processed. Yes, there's too much junk food out there but this report doesn't differentiate it.
Nah, it's completely OK to just drink heavy cream and stuff your mouth alternately with flour and raw eggs. It's the processing that makes it poison.
Butter?!? People have been making butter for thousands of years with the most minimal equipment in the world, and it has like 3 ingredients (cream, salt, annato for color) - how is that "ultraprocessed"?