btw I think he’d be a good pope based on this

I think he would be a good pope because his name is pizza

Yeah but prob won’t keep the name should he wind up pope

he would always be Pope Pizzaballs to me

He should choose Muhammad or something as his Pope name

Maybe his papal name will be cooler. You know, like Pope Cannoli I

Papa John

Dude’s got my vote !

based

Thank you for your support!

Oh he doesn't have a shot in hell ( aka Jerusalem) for this one

Pizzabolla, non-assholla.

I heard him sing it!

critical support for st pizzaballa

yeesh win some, lose some

Depending on the context, that *could* mean he wanted them to also call out groups like Hamas and Hezbollah for making the lives of their own people worse, maybe? It's a really vague quote tbh

he plays both sides, hon. if ya have looked further into things he's said and done he really has played both sides-ism on the war. He is certainly not this golden god good choice for pope the OP is purposely not showing the bad things he's said and done on the very same issue they brought light to.

Alright fair enough then

me pointing out the paragraphs right above the same wikipedia screenshot they did is to help showcase what is being left out to distort the narrative.

Pizza d’Pope

Father Guido Sarducci going wild for this one

Paging Fr. Guido Sarducci….

the reason I say “regret” is because now I can’t stop thinking about Cardinal Pizzaballa

This would be why they change their names when they become Pope, I guess

If this guy becomes Pope he is not allowed to change his name as the entire world will insist on calling him Pope Pizzaballa.

what is there to regret

The regret to always hungry when hearing the name. 😅

Don’t they adopt a new name? (Legitimate question, not Catholic and only vaguely familiar with how things work.)

this is the true tragedy: we would lose Cardinal Pizzaballa

He would take the papal name Pope Capricciosa I

and get Pope Margherita I

Don't worry. We'd still have Pope Pizzaballa. They only change their first names, though Pope's usually only are known by their first names. I think he should go for Pope John Paul *the third* Pizzaballa, that one would be a 10/10

Hallelujah!

I was thinking Pope Hotsy Totsy Pizzaballa could be a game changer for the church

Pope keepa your hands off my mozzarella Pizzaballa

Kinda wordy but def has legs

Pope-a John’s

Hilarious 🤣

Yeah, they do. He would be Leo 47 or Francis 2 or something. We'd still lose Cardinal Pizzaballa

But we could get Luigi the First

Yes, ur right.

If im not mistaken its like mirroring the Sister Mary Et Cetera tradition from the cloisters. A new person in service of christ.

Yep. It's usually some form of John, Paul, George and Ringo, though

Yes. Pope's choose names fitting with their intended 'theme' for their papacy. Benedict, John Paul, and Francis, among the various others, carry particular significance (Who they choose to emulate) The most likely option is John, though not required to choose an existing Papal name (Like Francis)

better than “loo”, i suppose (dog forgive me, couldn’t help it!” 🤣🤣🤣

He could still become Pope Domino

pope ceasar? papa john?

Papal John's 🤌

Dead lololol

Yes, history shall know him as Pope Calzone I

The Pizza Pope can’t hurt you (yet)

I won't be able to stop thinking "That's a-spicy pizza-balla!"

Pope Pizzaballa to you

Half a pound of tuppenny rice Half a pound of treacle That's the way the chimney smokes Pope Goestheveezl

Now I have this image in my head of every time Pope Pizzaball goes somewhere, his security detail, wearing black sunglasses, will whisper into their sleeve cuffs "Pizzaball is rolling. Repeat, Pizzaball is rolling"

I am already scared I'll forget

For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the papacy, and lose his funny name?

Balle is slang for dick in Swedish so imagine how we feel.

Cardinal Pizzadick? That's a visual I didn't need.

My thoughts exactly. 😩

So is it a dick looking like a pizza or a pizza looking like a dick？

You are asking the REAL questions here! lmao

It's time for a Swedish pope anyhow

Haha, we are not a catholic country so that might be tricky.

Don't be shy. You've got a cardinal nowadays!

Yeah, and he is pretty well liked. But the Swedish culture is very much steeped in Luther’s teachings.

Luther will be pleased to hear that

Pope pizzaballa!

So Father Guido Sarducci had it right! There IS a pope in the pizza! soundcloud.com/buzzburbank/...

PizzaBALLA

The smell of Pizzaballa Pope Chimney Smoke…

Instant Classic. You are my new follow.

Just don’t expect them all to be bangers like this lol

This is wholesome, not sacrilegious.

I'm always saying this! Fast-food pizza like Dominoes may be unhealthy but if you make it at home from scratch pizza can actually be wholesome. Pizza on the whole gets a bad rap

It’s *sacri-licious* lol. But point taken.

once he's pope we probably won't be seeing his last name much at all ...looking up {patron saint of baking} now

But future historians deserve a little chuckle. As a treat. Plus if the pope dies on your birthday you should automatically be the next pope. Just saying.

What, you can’t deal with Italian noble houses?

And you know how we are all saying it in our heads and moving our hands!

Sadly I think they take on a new name as Pope, so we wouldn't get to call him Pope Pizzaballa.

If that man is elected pope no power in heaven or earth can stop me calling him pope pizzaballs.

Pope-roni

Papa Pizzaballa Uno, per favore!

Pope Calzone

Pope Puttanesca

I meant Pope Puttanesca IV

We're getting off topic now.

Pope Calzonius?

I'm not Catholic so yes I sure can and yes I sure will

He could be another John. "Papa John Pizzaballa" has a nice ring to it.

John the 24th, a.k.a John 24/7 Pizzaballa. Sounds legit.

But we'd all know.

Not *officially*

Traditionally people in Italy do refer to the pope sometimes with their last name. Papa Bergolio...so we CAN say Papa Pizzaballa

new famous original pope’s

And now that I've read your post I can't unsee it.

Upon ascending to the papacy, they choose a papal name. I expect nothing less than Pope Pizzaballa Carbonara I.

In this cursed timeline? It'll be Pizzaballa di Pineapple, just so we have something else to argue about.

That would create a split between the Ante-Hawaiianican and Post-Hawaiianican sects of Christianity. We're talking a massive historic event, if he dares going fruit.

Don't forget the mayo and peas pizza; that means the American South and our super fundamentalist Christianity will likewise join the fray, bc since when has that group ever NOT put their noses in business that actually doesn't involve them?

People occasionally give me shit for liking pineapple on pizza, but mayo and PEAS? 😵‍💫

It started as a joke then morphed into reality:

Dear Lord, did they use canned peas??

Also if he's made a pope, he'll have to abandon his name for dinner boring "Paul" or "John". And there would be no more cardinal pizzaballa in this sad world. So please vote instead for his rival, Cardinal Broccolugly.

You take a new name as pope anyway.

And we deny the world Pizzaballa

Pope Rigatony

Pope Peter Pizzaballs I

Pope pepperoni

Poperoni I

Pope Domino

damn just realise they have already had several ' Papa John '

Pope Calzone

No such thing as a good pope, but that's decent of him.

Okay you know what? Pizza for Pope.

I'm fine with Pizza Pope.

was he in Bethlehem when Israel bombed it on Christmas? that'd be wild

balla move

www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHIf...

Fuck it, we balla.

We all balla at midnight.

Can't wait for the balla smokestack!

In the klerb, we all balla

So glad someone got that reference 😺

Well shit. Not what I expected to see but hey that's a plus.

You know what I'll take it! I had my issues with Francis but overall he was the best Pope of my lifetime. He nudged the church in a direction I think it needed to go.

He would make an excellent pope.

Oh no I like the sound of this guy

Regret?

I’m hoping it’s him for both real-world and comic reasons

Still true

Ah shit, here we go again. Worst place in the world, Rome Pizzaballas country. I ain't Reformationed in 5 years, but the Pizzaballas won't give a shit.

It’s too bad that if he did become pope, he’d have to take a saint’s name. Maybe the cardinals in charge could make an exception in his case? 😁

I take it you’re not familiar with Saint Pizza Balla of Little Italy, NY.

Almost good as a Sherrif Dickus in my area. I was humming Monty Python songs every time I was passing his election sign.

Please tell me his nickname is Biggus. :)

It is in my head!

😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

I always giggled at Cardinal Sin.

He's named like an Aunty Donna character

Woah, what a throwback. Haven't seen Casper in a minute

We say this all the time in our house

If JK Rowling named an Italian wizard…

ngl this would probably get more butts in pews. what did Pope Pizza say this week?

Regret?!?

Regret???

Regret??

Domino's head of product could have a busy few days coming up.

*in Bob Wehadababyitsaboy voice* Pope Pierbattistapizzaballa

I remember seeing him in the early days of SNL. Did anyone win his "Find The Pope In The Pizza Contest?"

The fact he didn't open a pizzeria and call it "Pizza Ballin'" is a tragedy.

If he's elected he should absolutely NOT take a saint name. He must be Pope Pizzaballa.

🎶when the card’nals arrive to pick big pizza guy that’s a conclave.🎶

I followed you for that apostrophe in card'nals

Don't you threaten me with a pizza party.

In portuguese his last name means literally "pizza candy" or "pizza bullet"

Yessssss

And you people expect me to believe Europe is real

Fuck it, we pizzaballan'

this is exactly what I look for in a pope

He’d be a better pope than Cardinal Garlicknottia Calzone

“Hear what I said T?”

What’s the deal with him?

Lord I’m not worthy to receive you. Only say the word and I shall be healed.

Pizzaballa is papabile, eh? Try saying THAT real fast 3x in a row.

First Luigi Mangione and now this

For real? That's his actual name?

Oh, my.

He’s better known in Australia as Ricardo Bosi. IYKYK

I don't have a dog in this church, but let's fuckin goooo!

nobody outpizzaballa's the pierbattista!

Ball with pizzaballa

Regret?

I thought they were called meataballas.

funny to think about. if it's about the name, think the USA has/had leaders named Biden (as take time and wait ) & a man named Trump (Mean to one up). also think about other names like there is a family names "Burden" & "Smith" . But remember evil doesn't care what name it take as long as it wins.

Just to say that "Trump" is polite old lady slang for "fart" in the UK.

Does it really matter which monster is the head of the global child molesting ring?

pope pizzaballa is extremely 2025 i fear

Dark horse name: Pope Boyardee

youtu.be/fvevuVT-iC0?...

He seems to have a big incentive for the name change

Eric Andre's visions coming true once again

Time to deliver a pizza ball!!!

Why do you regret that? Makes my day 🍕🍕🍕

Issa me, a Pizzaballa!

Pope Hawaii the first. (The Pope choses a 'Papal Name' - Francis real Name is Jorge Mario Bergoglio)

Our curling club had pizzaballs on the menu back in the fall - they were great!

Here’s hoping he takes the papal name John. Papa John

Maaaaate 😂 that nearly killed me off

Please give a warning when you do this. I've just snorted coffee!!!

Winner.

I laughed way too loudly at this. My OH is upstairs and probably thinks I've lost the plot.

Yeah...given that company was run by a racist POS? How about no.

Like the Italian in Conclave?

That would be so fucking awesome.

Regret??? Now I want this guy for the name alone.

😚 👌

Too much to hope for.

Please, please, may he take the name Joseph, so that our Papa can be called #JoeyPizzaballs?!

i thought this was fake so I googled it. I laughed for 7 minutes straight. Thank you.

I did the exact same thing. And forwarded it to my friends like I was the one who discovered it

I would never lie to u

As a fellow 🇵🇷, gracias hermano

Distant relative of Big Balls?

This is the Pope we need tho

🤌

Technically it’s only a pizzaballa if it’s from the Balla region of Italy. Otherwise it’s a sparkling calzone.

Love it.

@reynoldsgareth.bsky.social @daveanthony.bsky.social Could be a'spicy pope'a...

Depending on your viewpoint it's either good or bad that Popes choose another name when they take the triple crown. 😂

Regret?!?

@beckybunzy.bsky.social

Can anyone say his name without their hand in the air?

Just as long as he’s not Hawaiian

No regret! There's never been such a great cardinal name, it would be a great Pope name, but more than likely he will take a new pope name, and probably a boring one like pius the eleventeenth.

The morning after when he wakes up and realizes he’s now pope.

Bro better not change his name, gotta keep it Pope Pizzaballa I

Regret? Only regret would be if he is NOT the next pope.

There’s a French Cardinal name André Vingt-Trois, so he could just skip to being Pope André XXIII.

On a long enough timeline, there will be a Pope André 3000.

Pope André MMM

Now I’m intrigued and hungry

I can't resist posting this gif in response to every mention of this guy I see, even if it results in half this website blocking me

Noooooooo…….

Conclave 2: Fuck It, We Pizzaballa

Is he Big Balls' dad?

I'm calling shenanigans. This is a simulation. Fuck you Great Coder.

He deems to be a nice man, but I can't stop laughing.

give this man the white smoke!

I'm sorry but, pope or not, anyone named Pizzaballa is more than welcome at every single one of my parties.

Thanks. This just crashed my pun generator.

BigBalls has got competition

Tiny dick Big Balls just isn’t going to deliver.

His Papal name will be Risotto, right?

Can we give him the job so Christianity can be cheesy again?

I thought you were so full of shit. 😮

🤌

Good man. Franciscan.👍

Papa John I

Pope Papa John absolutely took me out

Genius!

This fucking timeline… Fine. What’s one more absurdity at this point?

Nope, the anointed US President informed the Vatican that he is nominating Father Marko Rupnik -- white smoke, or else.

I feel like @vinny.vinesauce.com should be aware of this.

I imagine that Tarantella Napoletana just emanates into the room from the ether when this guy enters.

Oh that's what that's called. What I correctly assumed you meant started playing in my head, THEN I went to confirm.

Wait is there pope news

Pope Francis is in critical condition in hospital, has had blood transfusions.

Ty, that’s a bummer

"Pizzaballa" just sounds like it has to be the most made up fake Italian name ever.

Bro sounds like Peppino's long lost cousin.

Conclave got nothing on this

Pope Pennedict XVII

Why would you ever regret that

The first pope with a mean crossover, three point shot and a chain of Italian bistros.

Is God killing the Pope to install this one?

Yes, I know, self-owned.

That closely-cropped goatee tells us all we need to know.

When he signs orders in Latin Pontifex Petrus Baptista Pizzasphericum

It is possible Pope Benedict is ill and may retire. I’m Jewish, my favorite Pope was John Paul. He saved Jews during the Holocaust.

Well Pope Benedict resigned in 2013 and died in 2022

I’m sorry for my error. Pope Francis is the current Pope.

He's dead too.

Now he is.

There’s making fun of Italian names and then there’s this … again no punchline is funnier then his actual name

ayy fellas we got us a fuckin pizzaballa ovah heah 🍕🤌

Regret? Like I wouldn't love pope pizza baller

As it was foretold in the book of John

😆🍕😆🍕😆

This is pure gold

Regret? I am rooting for him!

Please please please let him be Pizzaballa I.

I am delighted to hear that.

Can he play basktball?

Regret? With a name like that? Except his papal name would have to be Pope Per Scalpere. (Pope By the Slice).

Pope Marinara I

they switch name when they became pope

Oh shit, thought this was the Onion. Definitely not the worst thing this timeline has.

Dude offered himself as a hostage to Hamas in exchange for captive children, make him Pope-President, or however Vatican City government works.

Dude's a total balla

TIME TO DELIVER A PIZZABALLA

I had to scroll WAY too far to see this.

youtu.be/GxOkeLQohC0?...

What I came here for.

IL Papa Pizzaballa

This is a State sketch, come on

Glad I wasn’t the only one thinking this lol.

I'm furious there's no "You give-a the Popa the grapa juice-a" GIF on my phone.

The State has held up remarkably well. I really wish Michael Ian Black would shut up and not tarnish their legacy.

Pope Pizzaballa? 👀😳👀😳👀😳

Mama mia!

I'll bet he had lots of friends as a kid

He could finally clarify the Vatican's position on the use of pineapple topping.

Should*

He has let the spirit come inside him

I look forward to @pizzaatmcds.bsky.social take on this, if this does indeed happen.

He'd change his name to Pope Steve or something and we'd lose out on Cardinal Pizzaballa.

I’m sure Trump will try to appoint a new Pope to his liking. Watch.

Why the regret? This is brilliant

For real though I love him <3

He's actually a really wonderful Bishop. I follow the Jerusalem Patriarchs on facebook. It's important to keep up with our fellow Christians in the Holy Land. As they have been suffering due to the war. I also keep up with the anglican bishop.

His new name; Fusilli Jerry.

oh come now, that wouldn't be his pontifical name he'd be Pope Spicymeatballa or something, grow up people

Sacrilege. Pope Luigi please.

Who are the other contenders? Mozzarella and Mortadella?

Pizzaballa is not his parent’s surname. Did he get to pick his Cardinal name. If so I think you are right. Pope Spicymeatballa it is!

My money's on "Pope Bob."

Pope Spaghetti-o

*Pope Boyardee

Pope Delizzio the First. C'mon.

Get with the times, y’all. It would be Pope Aperollespresso.

That that me Popespresso

I say Pope Eroni.

you win the internet! 🤣🤣🤣

I have dreamed of this for so long!

Thanks for the gold, kind redditor!

*Pope Boiardi Chef Boyardee was a real person named Ettore Boiardi.

Papa John

🤌🏼

Gotta love a still image that somehow plays audio.

Papal Power!

Why is this a regret? This is the future we deserve. Pope "fill in saints name" Pizzabella.

Whatsa balla doin on my pizza?

His holiness, successor to the Prince of apostles, servant of the servants of Dod, vicar of Christ, patriarch of the west, bishop of Rome, Primate of Italy, Arancino I, Pont. Max.

You. Win. I was trying to figure out what his papal name would be. And that is it.

give this guy a peel and some dough and look out

Pizzaballa is an INSANE name

Popperoni

He will take the name Pope "Stuffed Crust."

regret why‥‽ If you’re gonna have a clown in a costume the least you can do is give him a funny name.

That better not translate to Peter the Roman

he doesn't deserve such a badass name like pizzaballa

Mamma freakin mia

His papal name: CHEESE Paul PIZZA III

Isn't this one of the lyrics to "That's Amore?"

Cardinal Sicola had even less chance.

The REAL regret is the changing of his name if he is picked. Pope Pizzaballa might actually make me wanna go to church once in awhile.

Please, o merciful Lord, let him keep his name if he becomes the new pope. Pope Pizzaballa the First would be amazing.

Pope Ligma Pizzaballa

If he promised to be Pope Pizzaballa I, I’d kill for him

Pope Alfredo I.

He’s a Franciscan. There may be hope.

Didn't he used to be a boxer in the old arcade "Punch Out" game?

At the very least, they should start the beautification process to give us a SAINT PIZZABALLA.

Pope Pizzaballa. Pizzagate. This will break MAGA minds galore!

Pope Pizzaball seems a little too on the nose

FORGET BIG BALLS, WE NEED PIZZABALLA!

@veshbrochill.bsky.social

Norm no

😱😱😱

That is awesome!

Ok that tears it. Stop messing with that goddam particle accelerator. Pretty soon this whole scene is going to be a cartoon

@edsbs.bsky.social @shutdownfullcast.bsky.social

"Regret"? What regret?

Did JKR name him?

🤣🤣🤣🤣

🎶 C' 'na luna Pierbattista Mamma mia Pizzaballa 🎶

He will throw us a wildcard selecting his papal name. Pope Calzone

Not even Catholic but if we don't get Pope Pizzaballa I'm gonna lose my shit. The world needs this. We need a PopePizzaMobile. The body of Christ is now a flatbread pizza with tomato, basil and goat cheese. Every time you go to confession, you get a free order of garlic knots.

Let’s make it happen boys

If the pope's not here in 30 minutes or less, then it's free.

I’m following you on the basis of that quip

Omg you are hilarious!!

Another italian? They need to choose a guy who ain't white

In-universe Harry Potter-ass Pope.

Di solito, si dice sempre a Roma, chi entra Papa, esce cardinale. Speriamo solo, che Papà Francesco possa guarire al più presto.

Hope JD is pleased that pretty much the last thing the pope did before falling ill was be upset with him. If they believe God is a real thing then they must believe the devil is a real thing so it’s entirely possible that JD is working for the devil, or is the devil?

Reminds me of ‘Katy Perry, please stop,’ and then the nun dying.

There is doctrine on Satan but it isn't something that I remember being very important as a Catholic kid. More interestingly, there's a doctrine that there are always multiple "antichrists" around- not the big end game antichrist (that's a thing but Catholics don't believe in the Rapture bullshit)

But rather a bunch of folks who "personify the spirit or mind of Satan" running around thinking their message is more important than Christ's message and uhh JD and Trump and Elon definitely fit that bill. So TLDR: Catholic theology suggests the present U.S. leadership could be antichrists!

So does the Book of Revelation.

Oh my goodness, it’s all there isn’t it? Thanks for sharing.