Join a religion! Volunteer in a charity shop! Join a choir, a men’s shed, a counselling group, a hillwalking club, an online DnD game! The Rotary! The Masonic lodge! Your local residents society! A soup kitchen! A community garden! A swimming club! Do phone calls for Age Concern!
Talk to your neighbour! Start train spotting! Consider tennis! Get a dog and go to puppy classes! What of lawn bowls? What of music lessons! Learn to ceilidh dance! Take French! MY GOD LADS IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE FASCISM.
I remember reading about some guy who was a pro-feminist activist until it became clear that he wasn't going to be made High King of feminism, at which point he decided feminism wasn't for him. I think some men feel a thing is only worth doing if they can win at it; just helping isn't enough.
As happy as trainspotters seem to be, I am starting to think you can win at trainspotting!
You win when you spot a train, its all about the achievable goals
I love that last sentence! 😅
I genuinely snort-laughed my tea out.
Can confirm via my husband that a good way for men to make friends with people of all genders is to do exercise classes. Via my me, a good way to make friends is to chat with people with mutual interests (or on an rp group) on social media & go for pints with them sometimes
Trouble is fascism is the only one that doesn't involve any effort or self reflection 😒
There's a lad who sometimes comes to my (otherwise all-female) knitting and needlework group, crocheting a giant neon-orange bird statue thing feather by individual feather, and I bet he does not experience loneliness! Not least because of the giant orange bird.
Heck! That sound so cool.
I would marry anyone who crocheted me a neon orange bird statue. Do you have a photo of it?
I've never actually seen it in its entirety because he brings in pieces to work on, but here is a Wing
Wow! The finished article will be huge. I would love to see it! What skill and patience he has.
Puppy tennis will be the Guardian top tip by next spring. Hang on… Pupel!
I helped run a cricket club. It didn't help my single status and your views on how fascism adjacent it is may vary, but it was good. As arthritis claims both my knees I've had to knock that on the head but I've found a new hobby: painting warhammer miniatures oh grief this isn't helping at all.
honestly, all these hobbies where blokes make little models together are big ole green flags.
cricket is fascist???
I don’t know, our local Warhammer shop is literally one of the friendliest places in town. Bet you have got more community than you realise.
Based more on reputation for that joke. The little group at work and the bigger group on here that talk about and show off their efforts are very friendly and not-fascist, which is all I ask for.
ha! yes! To be fair, I was a little surprised when we first walked in. I had some rather annoying school-age interactions with boys who were into D&D, and I had apparently tarred everyone with the same brush forever more.
I hope they get bored and stop being fascists when they find out fascism isn't about horses.
Non league football. There’s about the right number of people to get to know without either standing out or being ignored, you can have beer while watching the football and they actually appreciate and value your money and your time
hell my wife says that the reason she messaged me on eharmony was because i was smiling, wearing a top and NOT holding a fish, also both of us were on a paid dating site under the logic that paying was a mark of being at least a little bit serious about it
like shit lads the bar really is not that high
The phrase "consider tennis" just added ten years to my lifespan
I spent a little time considering Tennis, because it was one of the first things broadcast in HD. Turned over to Space 1999 instead.
consider the coconuts!
I suggest the ‘religion’ one is scratched from this list. Because, ye know…
I go for a bike ride every day. There is a park on a small river where I stop and drink my bottle of water. Lots of swimming, kayaking, paddleboarding. Practically no men. All women and kids or groups of women, all ages. Weekend or week day, the same. Maybe 1 man out of every 25 people. It's weird.
I've taken a few partnered dance classes - swing, salsa etc - and there are always 15 women and 2 men, and neither of the men's girlfriends want them to dance with anyone else. AND they end up knowing how to dance, which is also attractive.
A mate of mine who was a tank commander took salsa classes so he'd be less one-dimensional (reintegrating after serving can be...weird) and I can confirm he's an interesting guy, a great dancer and (shocker) now happily married.
Having been to dance classes with my wife I can confirm that any lonely chap going will meet some of the nicest people, dance with them , and get bags of confidence.
Haha, I tried this in the 00s and persisted for a while but I felt so out of place and I still can’t dance 😂
Brilliant!
If people believe "the alternative is talking to your neighbour" London is going to be a real hotspot for fascism. I'm already thinking "how workable is socialism in practice we need strong leadership" when you paint the other options so bleakly. (/s In case I is not clear).
At its root is grievance about their lives and a desire to point the finger at anybody but themselves.
None of it helps them if the blokes don't develop any meaningful relationships from their endeavours. It's far more about emotional vulnerability than being literally surrounded by people, otherwise you're just a shell in a crowd.
you can take a horse to water!
For sure, I just think when I've felt the most lonely it's not when I've been the most physically isolated or socially inactive, it's when I've not opened up to any of my close friends in some time I don't think this truly starts to get better until men being vulnerable regularly is normalised tbh
Probably!
Also - do these things as an end in itself. You're clearly not saying this, but some seem to be selling these things as a way to meet someone. By emphasising the 'must find a relationship's but, I think people are adding to the problem...
(must turn off autocorrect on my phone, it makes more typos/errors than I do)
This is all so true. I started running during COVID, and it’s not just that I meet people through a Saturday group run, it’s that I know have a new group of guy (and gal) friends, aged 30-60, who like doing things. Before that it was a dodgeball league my wife wanted to try. New friends as adults!