Very few things are as embarrassing as learning to set boundaries for the first time as an undiagnosed autistic person in your 30s.
Replies
Hi yep it’s me too
jul 21, 2025, 2:33 am • 1 0 • view
Hiii another one!
jul 21, 2025, 2:53 am • 1 0 • view
It fucking sucks!!!!!!!
jul 21, 2025, 2:53 pm • 1 0 • view
And some people just won't accept that you didn't mean to [insert communication faux pas]. I guess that's how you learn who was always willing to work with you!
jul 21, 2025, 3:01 pm • 1 0 • view
Oh gosh this so resonates with me. Diagnosed at 58, nearly 60 now and still fecking people pleasing and stuffing shit up. It gets me down.
jul 21, 2025, 6:25 am • 1 0 • view
I’m so sorry! I hope it gets easier for both of us!
jul 21, 2025, 3:31 pm • 1 0 • view
You would have thought at my age I would have learned the word "NO", without an explanation as to why I've said it.
jul 21, 2025, 4:54 pm • 1 0 • view
It’s hard!
jul 21, 2025, 6:19 pm • 1 0 • view
Any tips 😭
jul 21, 2025, 2:58 am • 1 0 • view
Umm... bring things up as early as possible (hard if you don't know what your boundaries are), and go into the conversation very upfront about your intentions (so there's no chance of you getting blown off, trying to clarify, and then being accused of making stuff up).
jul 21, 2025, 3:03 am • 1 0 • view
Other than than it's just a lot of trial and error. A lot of figuring out who was actually emotionally unavailable all along. I'm going through my DBT workbook on my own, too. I think because I spiral and word vomit so easily, a little structure would help.
jul 21, 2025, 3:05 am • 2 0 • view
Too subtle? Too harsh? Too belated? Too persistent? It’s hard when I’ve survived this long being a doormat! I don’t get why people are unclear and avoidant in their responses, and then it leads to some bad misunderstandings and ugly conflicts.
jul 21, 2025, 2:29 am • 11 0 • view
It sucks so bad omg 🤝
jul 21, 2025, 2:28 am • 5 0 • view
Truly the worst! I hate when I mess it up the same way multiple times but don’t figure it out until there’s enough of a pattern!
jul 21, 2025, 2:33 am • 1 0 • view
My favorite is when I realized I kept messing it up after that, too.
jul 21, 2025, 2:34 am • 1 0 • view
I really hope I don't mess it up again!
jul 21, 2025, 2:41 am • 1 0 • view
Haha, so true! Unfortunately I learned my wife really didn't like me having boundaries. Fortunately I no longer have a wife 😁
jul 21, 2025, 5:43 am • 1 0 • view