Can we have a sandwich throwing contest? I know— apparently it’s a felony to throw subway. But does it matter which type? Tuna salad? BMT? Oven-roasted chicken? What would you throw? (Please, don’t say At whom…we don’t need the gestapo visiting). I throw my sandwich in your general direction!
Love the military storming into our streets to break every oath they've ever made and end American freedom... and then pulling the whiney "mooooom! Ryan threw his saaaaandwich at meeee! It's assaaaaauult!" 😭😭😱😱😰😰😫😫🤮🤮
What level would the charge have been if he had hit him with a brick? Or spit on him?
He’s got a really good attorney and no jury will convict him. I hope the sandwich wars becomes a whole thing. Please 🙏
Tuna with extra hots....left on the car dashboard for 2 hours until sufficiently rancid.
Ham sandwich for fascist pigs Also, what constitutes a sandwich legally... like doesn't Subway bread not constitute real bread... so if the "weapon" doesn't exist, shouldn't the charge be dropped?
Kudos to whoever made this awesome DC variation on the RATM album art
I wish I had seen any artist credit when I downloaded the image Definite big ups to the creator
Was it a subway sandwich? I completely understand. The bread alone is toxic.
You know, if I were in law enforcement, making a big issue of a single sub thrown at my chest (as opposed to my face) just seems, uh, weak and a bit embarrassing. Honestly, it feels more like a "night in the drunk tank to cool off" kind of offense, rather than a felony.
Definitely a meatball sub. Get a wider pattern - can’t miss!
Came here to say that. With extra onions, too.
Meatball, egg mayo, or something else really messy
Meatball….. 😬
Exactly what I was thinking!
That looks so good.. throwing is would have to be after a few bites.
Order two?
Also order two of these.
I would consider tuna or egg salad the more egregious sandwich crime.
Meanwhile, Trump pardoned child rapists (not only Maxwell). You should hear some of the scumbags he released. 👇 www.instagram.com/reel/DL5rBRQ...
Egg salad
Definitely egg salad. Preferably one that's been baking in the sun for a few hours. Let them smell like farts (or the day they let us play with sulfur in middle school science class), for the rest of that shift.
Liver and onions would probably be really stinky!
Tuna for sure. It’s got heft and will stay together with the bread. Maybe pastrami.
The Great Sandwich Battle of DC will be etched into history.
Egg salad
PB&J for stickiness.
Finally a use for Subway sandwiches.
Look, if you’re gonna catch charges for throwing shit, throw something effective, like a small balloon with sand and used motor oil. Preferably at the windshields of ICE vehicles but it will also ruin a uniform 🤣
I vote for feathers. And glitter.
antifreeze never dries, keeps you damp and uncomfortable.
Glitter!
TUNA 🐟 so it's squishes/sticks/stinks better!
I've seen the video. They're just butthurt that he outran them and the whole internet knows.
Maybe the agent is gluten-free?
Nah. He'd be fetchez-ing la Vache. Gotta be roast beef. (Note that this is a follow up to your monty python reference and absolutely not any kind of endorsement of whatever cracked out white trash bitch fit the maga world flung out on the internet today)
Glad you caught that😉
How are they treating marshmallows? Mini-marshmallows? Water, or scented water, sprayed high into the air as relief from the August heat? What scents might be used in misters? Cheap perfumes, non-alcoholic beverages, or perhaps ranch-style scents?
Open-face sandwiches can't be considered as threatening as subs. Throwing anything might be considered dangerous, but...garlic spray? Are there animal dealers who sell skunks?
BBQ PORK!!!!!
He mistakenly threw a sandwich when he should have thrown a Snickers bar. Because you're not you when you're hungry.
Meatball
Liverwurst and onions with a thick glob of mayo.
Anything with home-made urushiol dressing.
😂 I throw my sandwich in your general direction
I yelled this at my foster kittens the other day, lol
Oh poor baby! You are supposed to be a badass protecting our country & get upset over a harmless sandwich thrown your direction. Did the mayo hurt you?
I vote for Rueben sandwiches. All that sauerkraut makes a not so subtle comment on the target.
Assault with a deadly French Dip? Bologney battery? Is cheese an accessory change, or just an extra charge? Meatball mayhem! Italian meat trio, go straight to the jaoil!
Holy aoili!
lmao
CBP: *beats someone bloody for being too brown* Hey I'm just trying to do my job. Also CBP:
🤣
I’m going to say tuna salad because it’ll probably be the worst to get cleaned.
Does it have to be a sandwich? Mayonnaise cream pie, especially if it's a hot day.
Meatball sub, extra saucy.
Sun-baked tuna salad with extra mayo and limburger cheese.
It’d be funny to see people drive by and peg them with Donuts. 🍩🍩🍩
That video was hilarious. Too bad they caught him.
Egg salad sandwiches, with just enough mayo to make it stick. We called them "explodo sandwiches" back in high school, when we had food fights in the lunch court...😂
So DoJ will now require all purchasers at subway to fill out an application, have a 5 day waiting period, and a background check Because they need to protect the federal forces If only they cared as much about school shootings
Update: He worked for the DOJ and has now been fired 🤨 bsky.app/profile/meow...
Something pungent. Messy is good, stinky is better, both is best I would think. Something that leadership sends them off to get changed. Barrage the line with it.
We vote for sloppy joes.
“MEATLOAF SANDWICH”
I fart in your general direction.
The aerodynamics of the different sandwiches would have to be a factor. I suggest dividing the event by (a) age, (b) sandwich density, and (c) distance.
What's the charge? Eating a succulent sandwich? This is democracy manifest...
