No way he goes to heaven !!!!!!!

well, if there are pedophile priests in heaven, perhaps trump has a chance...

Real "I'm being visited by the ghosts of Christmas past and present" vibes

I hope the ghost of Christmas future zooms in on me, personally, reacting to Trump's demise

Me too.

He just remembered one of the rap battles he was in: youtu.be/cP6VqB4klpQ?...

Another faked assassination in the offing?

this modern update of Macbeth sucks

Is…is he dying

He sure looks like it lately.

And you can tell he just went to Alaska cause he's thinking about totem poles

Maybe picking an online fight with a Pope was a bad move if you're concerned about going to H-E-double hockey sticks.

To me, it sounds like he is trying to be funny. An ill-considered gag to lighten the mood after the bit about all the dead soldiers and civilians.

Removing slavery exhibits is not helpful…

You can start by releasing the Epstein files.

Well some good news. There will likely be a special place in hell for him. 🙄

Dude is cracking apart in front of the eyes of the world.

Didn’t know totem had a poll, but if it does he’s definitely at the bottom.

What he’s at the bottom of is NOT a totem pole.

Let's all vote on it, shall we???!!!

But also yes, def destined for hell no doubt

Maybe he can realize his lifelong dream and be besties with Putin in the afterlife 🙄

Imagine if the premise of the film The Super, starring Joe Pesci, where an asshole slum lord is sentenced by a judge to not only fix his squalid properties in 120 days, but is forced to live in one until the repairs are completed, ends up becoming Trump's eternity...

The mashup of the Christian notion of hell while also using a Totem Pole as a metaphor is quite something.

If Biden.....,? if Obama.... ? oh forget it!

Someone tell him people that have sex with young girls to impress Jeffery Epstein don't go to heaven.

That ship has sailed...

Appealing to cult members who believe God sent him to save our country.

Spoiler alert…he’s going to hell.

He’s laughing as he says it. He’s making fun of the idea he’d go to hell. He wants the Nobel, that’s all this is about.

That South Park episode really got under his skin.

Right?!?! This is so weird...this sounds like nothing Trump has ever said in the past. Something has him spooked.

It's the first time my "he's refusing to recognize that he will die" theory has been put into question, and im not sure how I feel about it.

could possibly mean he has been forced to come to terms with his mortality, I.E he's dying

I just don't think we are that lucky.

I mean president vance does not sound lucky to me. but i get your point

President Vance is so unpopular it fucks up their whole midterms strategy, and at least Vance wont be a cultural embarrassment by tweeting nonstop, but yeah he would still suck.

His actions certainly aren’t those of someone who’s concerned about his future vis-a-vis heaven/hell. But, he’s also painted himself into a very tight corner at home and abroad.

Keep your eyes on the Epstein.

Yep…my theory…his “bestie” vlad got a hold of the Epstein files via Musk…his other “bestie”. Added to the kompromat that Putin already has. Trump was “reminded” of this in his Alaskan meeting.

Who is he hearing this from? Is this an ‘“Everyone is saying it” so it must be true’ statement?

Desperate to deflect away from Jeffrey Epstein yet remain in the news cycle.

Are You There God? It's Me, Donald

The first honest thing he has ever said

His calling in about this could be motivated by a lot of things. Getting into heaven is unlikely to be one of them. More likely that he is now sensing even more people are turning against him and he is seeking to preserve his evangelical base with the “I’m asking for redemption” card.

TrumpPedo, I'm pretty sure you won't go to heaven, but I'm sure you'll pay the price for SA to young kids! 😉

Kinda makes you hope there IS a hell, doesn’t it?

So....he's feeling his mortality, is he?

Cmon cankles, do your thing 🤞🏻

Watching an old man with dementia unravel in front of your eyes is always depressing, but usually they're not on camera 24/7 while it happens

Hate to beat that fucking drum but ‘if Joe Biden called in…’

😂😂😂😂😂

Did he receive a visit from the Ghosts of Christmas?

JFC Not only is the president of the United States incredibly stupid, he is extremely mentally unstable.

He's not serious. He picked up the idea from Leavitt.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=l482...

Heaven or hell, just get it done.

sad he didn't feel this way when COVID struck, winter of 2020, or when he crippled our federal pandemic response team in 2019.

If that's trump trying to make himself seem human, I'm not buying it.

“I hear I’m not doing well” he heard it from talking to himself inside his head right? Because he knows all the horrible fucking shit he’s done throughout his life.

Is this real life

is it just fantasy? caught in a landslide, no escape from reality

Whenever the subject of Trump’s health comes up, this song plays in my head for no reason. youtube.com/playlist?lis...

Someone is actually telling him the truth about something. Wild.

weird how this thought never occurred to him once as he raped and pillaged his way through 80 years of life.

Shouldn’t have raped all those women and cheated all those investors and contractors.

the one time I hope his prediction comes true.

I would like some elaboration on "I hear Im not doing well" Does that mean his health or is it a reflection on his behavior and actions over the span of his life?

I think he got very bad health news and he's suddenly confronted with his mortality. For a guy who claims to be the Chosen One, you wouldn't think going to heaven would be a worry. That he didn't say any of this after the alleged assassination attempt speaks volumes to how staged that was.

It means, quite simply, "Ain't I a stinker." Trump has always thought of himself as a bad person, and he thinks that bad people who go out of their way to screw others over have the correct idea and deserve admiration for it, while good people who don't do that are naive suckers.

His father loathed him, and never even made a secret of it in public. He saw him as an idiot good only to do social life and act as the face of the Trump brand.

He was visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past last night and they’re saying terrible, terrible things. The worst things.

My honest opinion is that some preacher got up in his face and scared him with tales of HOT BURNING FIRE and SCREAMS OF AGONY if he doesn't [fill in the blank of said preacher's political agenda]

It means he doesn't take religion seriously. Which is fine. But not really in line with most of MAGA

Just to ease his mind. True, you aren’t doing well — not in any way. Any yes, if there is a hell, that is where you are going. BUT if you want to reverse course now and strive for decency, maybe there’s still a chance to save yourself. Don’t ya wannna try?

Is this a new way of trying to get ahead of the Epstein dirt? Designed to appeal to his followers who are also quite religious? It plays into the "Trump may be flawed, but God chose him for a reason," stuff that some fling about.

Has no one told him that millions will die due to his dismantling of USAID?

But I need to know who he is referring to when he says he hears he’s not favored or whatever word salad he used. Who has he fantasized is talking about this earnestly?

Dude, you're in a broken elevator hurtling down to Hades at the speed of light...

He’s completely insane. The Epstein guilt is getting to him!

His polling on his presidency and the hereafter are at the bottom of the totem pole.

Bucket list for sure

It's always fascinating when trump has a complete moment of lucid honestly (see also: shooting on 5th Ave. statement) and just says the absolute truth with no BS or gaslighting. This is one of those moments

Oh, how he loves the poorly educated.

His creeping mortality speaks...

Needles, camels, etc etc.

As much as I want that to be a moment of crisis, I think he's contrasting what liberals think of him with how successful he thinks he is. "Other people say I'm bad, but I stopped a million wars" sorta thing.

This man will go straight to hell no detours like Hitler

25th. ASAP.

Jesus, it sounds like he’s ready to come home.

Maybe Donald J. Trump shouldn't have raped all of those children. Unless he's aiming for Catholic heaven...

I think he should go now!

Given that he once said in an interview that he had never asked God for forgiveness because he didn’t think he’d ever done anything wrong, this is a timely about-face.

He called former POWs "losers". What would he say about a god who allowed himself to be captured and killed?

a god whom his base purports to worship