Went down for Christ behind the dumpster.

Cracker Barrel doesn't allow servers to sit or take breaks and offers zero meal allowance. It also severely limits the number of tables you cover so you can't make any tips, so diners never wait more than 3 seconds for more sweet tea. Garbage employer.

Probably why he was depressed enough after work to make a spiritual conversion

I'm just gonna🤐

I guess "gave my life to Christ" is what we're calling it now

"I even game my life to Ares in a Cracker Barrel parking lot."

Worth it for this Ares...

Damn autocorrect! It was supposed to say “Gave his wife to Christ in the Cracker Barrel parking lot.”

I bet Jesús had her speaking in tongues. Oh. Life. He said life. Not wife. Ooops.

Paradise by the dashboard light.

"giving my life to christ in a cracker barrel parking lot" implies something that would be inappropriate to read in the workplace

Now I'm imagining evangelical pastors work their way up the grift hierarchy getting kickbacks for doing baptisms in the parking lots of local restaurants on the road to megachurch money.

It’s a euphemism. I gave my life to Christ in a dorm room my freshman year of college.

You hear that phrase all over rural America; generally it’s not uttered in the context of a “Cracker Barrel parking lot”, though. On a more serious note, I have no idea what changed in the damn logo. It looks the same to me. I guess it’s something only a hardcore MAGA Twitterer could perceive. 🤷‍♂️

CORRECTION: Oh, I get it now. The new logo is a different one. Yeah, it’s not that good. Seems of a piece with companies generally changing their logos to plain PowerPoint text. I consider that just bland bad taste, though. Nothing “woke” or whatever the f!ck.

"I gave my life to Christ in a Cracker Barrel parking lot" is the new "I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom"