Putin's birthday will now be a national holiday

That he has seen the light and is going to resign effective immediately.

Boy, she asked for wrong and you went all out 😉😉 I like it.

🤣😂🤣

The DOJ is releasing all of the Epstein files. Including the parts that mention his name. The only redactions will be PII of the victims.

Remember the crazy dictator speech from "Bananas"? youtu.be/p_g5Zjnp520?...

He is giving USA to Putin

Miracle Max is his new physician.

It’s Taco Tuesday!! Anything can happen!

When it happens, whatever day, that will be TACO Tuesday! Eat and drink responsibly.

In two weeks……………….

All I care about at 2:00 pm (est) today: 1. Is he alive? Prove it. 2. Can he talk? Prove it. 3. Is he still in charge? Prove it.

He found out that the Liberty Bell is cracked and will vow to fix it no matter what

This is very plausible

🤣🤣🤣🤣 For the 🍊💩 yes, this could actually happen. If it does I may just start walking like Gump did and not stop until I feel like it.

Such a big beautiful bell, it’s been cracked for many years, maybe more than any bell has been cracked in history, and Sleepy Joe Biden didn’t do anything about it. SAD!

The visceral hate i feel for this block of text. Well done, Sir...or Ma'am.

Omg yes

You used the IASIP prompt and my brain went to an amazing satire episode mocking 🍊💩

In two weeks!

He is going to announce that RFK Jr. has discovered that conservative men's 💦 prevents and cures STDs. And the younger the receiver the more effective.

Oh, wait, you wanted wrong answers. He is going to announce that the experts are right about everything and he is resigning and will retire to Moscow.

That’s too hard! Because some of the “wrongest” answers I can imagine might turn out to be right answers!

Celebrate a poopy in the toilet all by himself.

My husband said he saw somewhere that it's about the DoD. It's his official announcement of renaming ot Dept. Of War.

wrong answers only! this one is a probable announcement haha

Sadly true. He'll rename it Dept. Of Whining because he can't spell winning.

He will be the first human on Mars. He leaves tomorrow. He has been mostly off-camera for his abbreviated training period.

We can only hope.

🤣

two for one presale deal on his bibles and phone

"Vladimir and I are excited to announce our upcoming engagement."

Omg this was the most hilarious!! 😆

He's going to replace all of his appointees with nominees that Putin suggests. (That's ridiculous enough that it just _has_ to be wrong.)

They have a baby on the way

Elon is the father

Blah blah blah, it’s going to be something stupid.

A remake of Always Sunny season 12, episode 1 would be perfect here; with the gang being played by the administration.

He's going to claim someone tried to poison him, and declare Martial Law. Unhinged, but maybe not wrong?

Accident in the dining room

He is leaving Melania for his lover Stephen Miller - they plan to live together on his golf course in Scotland.

“I am stepping down early to volunteer for fElon’s mission to sell Teslas on Pluto”

his Q+ status endowed by putin actually means he is super close to R status—Redeemer, so he is doubling down and announcing putin’s quest for world domination will actually benefit the US. he’s too full of hubris to realize that is putin playing him.

He will be releasing the full Area 51 report on the alien spacecraft captured in Roswell.

He’s dead and an ai version of him is running the country forevermore.