I was doing something super heroic and cool before I got in a car accident, please do not look into this any further
Replies
This statement feels like a fever dream. I don't just mean unreal, I mean *surreal*.
aug 31, 2025, 7:51 pm • 13 0 • view
Definitely didn't have a shit and piss accident in my pants. The accident is why there's shit and piss there
aug 31, 2025, 8:36 pm • 0 0 • view
sounds like an alcohol-induced hallucintion but i'm no doctor
aug 31, 2025, 7:50 pm • 64 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 8:02 pm • 24 0 • view
😂🤣
sep 1, 2025, 1:27 am • 0 0 • view
If he's still alive ignore him, get back to me when he's dead.
sep 1, 2025, 12:38 am • 1 0 • view
he was in his car with a sex worker and the car got hit, but his spokesperson thinks we're stupid.
aug 31, 2025, 8:09 pm • 35 1 • view
Dingdingding!
sep 1, 2025, 4:15 am • 0 0 • view
🎯😏
sep 1, 2025, 1:29 am • 0 0 • view
one of the most plausible explanations.
aug 31, 2025, 9:55 pm • 4 0 • view
but is his business partner also his medical provider?
aug 31, 2025, 7:52 pm • 0 0 • view
It's so sus
aug 31, 2025, 7:54 pm • 0 0 • view
Doesn't say he wasn't also involved in the domestic violence. I'd believe he slapped a woman then called the cops on her when she wouldn't let him drive away.
sep 1, 2025, 12:59 am • 0 0 • view
The same security, that missed the camera guy, in the closet???
aug 31, 2025, 11:14 pm • 1 0 • view
obviously it was a self suck incident
aug 31, 2025, 8:02 pm • 1 0 • view
I believe that part of the story exactly 0%.
aug 31, 2025, 7:49 pm • 24 0 • view
I don't want to disturb his convalescence but maybe someone should gently explain to him that he has not been mayor in over 20 years, and indeed is no longer even permitted to practice as a lawyer.
aug 31, 2025, 8:07 pm • 8 0 • view
Who was the alleged perpetrator in this DV situation?
aug 31, 2025, 9:54 pm • 0 0 • view
Without the first paragraph it would look innocent.
aug 31, 2025, 7:56 pm • 9 0 • view
it's always the cover up....
aug 31, 2025, 9:56 pm • 2 0 • view
I'll take Blow Jobs Gone Bad for $800 Alex.
aug 31, 2025, 11:25 pm • 0 0 • view
Whenever I’m in a life threatening emergency, the first people I call are my beloved business partners 😌
aug 31, 2025, 9:29 pm • 4 0 • view
If they are your only beloveds...🤷♀️
aug 31, 2025, 9:48 pm • 2 0 • view
Geez, I thought YOU were in an accident. Phew.
aug 31, 2025, 8:28 pm • 0 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 7:52 pm • 0 0 • view
Aren't there people who broadcast and record police scanner radios? If so, the police comms after calling 911 should be publicly available right?
aug 31, 2025, 8:17 pm • 5 0 • view
Yeah, somehow this story does not ring true.
aug 31, 2025, 8:27 pm • 1 0 • view
So … lets hear that 911 call
aug 31, 2025, 8:34 pm • 3 0 • view
If they had just put out a press release that Mayor Giuliani had been seriously injured in a car accident, nobody would be making a big deal over what appears to be a distraction story for a cover up of drinking. People would focus on the accident, not on the irrelevant details.
aug 31, 2025, 10:01 pm • 2 0 • view
That’s practically a SNL skit! & thank you for your attention to this matter. 😂🤣
sep 1, 2025, 1:21 am • 0 0 • view
There are NO rumors that a live ocelot was in Giuliani's car
aug 31, 2025, 8:12 pm • 9 1 • view
aug 31, 2025, 8:27 pm • 8 0 • view
Imagine having so few family & friends willing to deal with you that they have to call your business partner to come to the hospital.
aug 31, 2025, 11:44 pm • 1 0 • view
Final Destination
aug 31, 2025, 8:13 pm • 0 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 9:59 pm • 0 0 • view
They're also going to great lengths to get people to back off the idea that the high speed rear ending was retaliatory for his brave deeds.
aug 31, 2025, 8:03 pm • 15 2 • view
upon the advise of counsel I would like to clarify that the two parts of my story are purely coincidental to each other and that I mentioned these two completely separate and unrelated sequences of events merely to provide context for anyone wondering what happens on a random night in New Hampshire
aug 31, 2025, 9:50 pm • 1 0 • view
Also, his business partner is also his nurse?
aug 31, 2025, 7:50 pm • 8 0 • view
Just assisting an obviously battered woman???
aug 31, 2025, 7:49 pm • 4 0 • view
"Hmmm, my statement about my hollywood-style heroics before my suspicious car accident have people asking questions that the statement already answers."
aug 31, 2025, 9:01 pm • 1 0 • view
Time for a FOIA request?
aug 31, 2025, 8:27 pm • 3 0 • view
Good if he did but - relevance?
aug 31, 2025, 8:24 pm • 0 0 • view
"weird extraneous details that no one asked for = lying" strikes again
aug 31, 2025, 9:09 pm • 2 0 • view
Que lastima.
aug 31, 2025, 11:52 pm • 0 0 • view
cop: "do you know how fast you were going?" me: "ockficer, *hic* did you hear about those *hic* puppies I saved from the *hic* burning orphanage?"
aug 31, 2025, 8:39 pm • 1 0 • view
lol
aug 31, 2025, 7:52 pm • 0 0 • view
Once again proving he can't issue a statement without mentioning 911.
aug 31, 2025, 7:56 pm • 140 3 • view
A+ response. Audibly laughed out loud.
aug 31, 2025, 9:17 pm • 1 0 • view
Underrated comment
aug 31, 2025, 8:04 pm • 15 0 • view
" ... he called '9/11!' "
aug 31, 2025, 8:08 pm • 10 0 • view
I still lol every time I remember one of his Fox News meltdowns happened to be at 9:12am and Samantha Bee made a joke about how he's always gone downhill right after 9:11.
aug 31, 2025, 8:18 pm • 22 1 • view
bsky.app/profile/hele...
aug 31, 2025, 11:07 pm • 0 0 • view
He's implying he was rear-ended by the woman's attacker, right? Rather than that he stopped short for no reason in the middle of the highway at night.
aug 31, 2025, 7:50 pm • 25 0 • view
Ah. I hadn't seen the follow-up.
aug 31, 2025, 9:45 pm • 1 0 • view
“His business partner and medical provider were promptly contacted and arrived at the hospital to oversee his care.” … wut
aug 31, 2025, 8:00 pm • 4 0 • view
Will MAGA (ala Pelosi) now claim that his business partner is his male lover?
aug 31, 2025, 8:16 pm • 4 0 • view
We should check if they’re cousins.
aug 31, 2025, 8:25 pm • 5 0 • view
Oh good, someone else found that bit weird AF.
aug 31, 2025, 7:52 pm • 4 0 • view
Hired a prostitute, didn’t pay pimp rammed his car from behind……just a guess
aug 31, 2025, 11:04 pm • 0 0 • view
The Big Balls playbook
aug 31, 2025, 7:51 pm • 17 0 • view
Cue National Guard rolling into Nashua tomorrow.
aug 31, 2025, 11:18 pm • 3 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 8:09 pm • 2 0 • view
I mean, I think Mitt still has his nice lake house up in NH, right?
aug 31, 2025, 7:53 pm • 0 0 • view
Somehow when I read this I assumed he had a driver? Is he still driving himself? Oh, man. Yeah, post that blood alcohol level.
sep 1, 2025, 1:33 am • 0 0 • view
Why are they all so weird?
aug 31, 2025, 7:51 pm • 18 0 • view
How crazy must that 911 recording be if you have to get in front of it with this batshittery
aug 31, 2025, 8:17 pm • 17 0 • view
Telling that his children didn’t arrive at the hospital to oversee his care.
aug 31, 2025, 8:05 pm • 0 0 • view
I don't blame them though. If my parent went that far down the maga rabbit hole, I too would pretend I didn't have parents.
aug 31, 2025, 11:55 pm • 0 0 • view
Yeah, Rudy Giuliani totally wasn’t driving drunk with a sex worker in the car, and absolutely did not stop short due to her handling of his desiccated little microprick…
aug 31, 2025, 8:37 pm • 1 0 • view
I'm going to want to see the police report before I believe this BS. He probably didn't pay a prostitute and her pimp rear ended him.
aug 31, 2025, 11:49 pm • 0 0 • view
Don't worry, he'll get the best of care at Four Seasons Total Orthopedics.
aug 31, 2025, 10:07 pm • 2 0 • view
"I happened to be driving through the red light district at 3am when I saw a woman stood alone at the side of the road. I heroically went to offer her some assistance when......." Sounds like he was doing a 'Sir Norman Fry'!
aug 31, 2025, 9:34 pm • 3 0 • view
On the other hand, I did drive that section of 93 a few times this weekend, and let me tell you. People have lost their ABSOLUTE TINY MINDS on northbound since Friday and there's a non-zero chance that this is just a dumb nothing, stupidly told.
aug 31, 2025, 10:50 pm • 1 0 • view
If he isn’t dead then I don’t care.
sep 1, 2025, 12:52 am • 0 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 11:01 pm • 0 0 • view
It's something out of a horror movie where the desperate woman flags a car and Rudy comes out "like oh shit even scarier*. It's classic bad to worse.
aug 31, 2025, 7:50 pm • 114 3 • view
I want someone like Jordan Peele to write this film so bad
sep 1, 2025, 3:21 am • 0 0 • view
Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf territory.
aug 31, 2025, 7:56 pm • 39 0 • view
/r/onesentencehorror
sep 1, 2025, 2:41 am • 0 0 • view
I am crying damn yooooouuuu
aug 31, 2025, 8:14 pm • 0 0 • view
And drunker than an alcoholic at 2:00 am as per his usual habits. When cops arrived on the scene to help the domestic violence victim I bet the old goat was obviously drunk but they let him go. Driving 10 mph and weaving down the highway until a 65mph driver couldn't avoid his vehicle and smashola!!
aug 31, 2025, 8:00 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 8:19 pm • 0 0 • view
My thoughts exactly. Oh cruel fates!
aug 31, 2025, 7:53 pm • 3 0 • view
i'm sure she came out of his car
aug 31, 2025, 8:04 pm • 0 0 • view
This is nonsensical and reeks of horseshit.
aug 31, 2025, 8:03 pm • 11 0 • view
With Giuliani, it's usually batshit.
aug 31, 2025, 8:08 pm • 7 0 • view
Drunk and batshit.
aug 31, 2025, 8:10 pm • 7 0 • view
The guy who issued that statement tried to run for city council two years ago. He had some issues with the integrity of his ballot petitions www.cityandstateny.com/politics/202...
aug 31, 2025, 10:14 pm • 0 0 • view
Are you telling me that this old man got behind a wheel himself?
sep 1, 2025, 7:24 am • 0 0 • view
Nearly certainly positive he didn't try to rip off a sex worker
sep 1, 2025, 7:37 am • 0 0 • view
No mention of the people in the other car.
aug 31, 2025, 8:22 pm • 1 0 • view
Cool. Now release the Epstein files.
aug 31, 2025, 11:09 pm • 1 0 • view
That's weird. I thought the guy was spineless.
aug 31, 2025, 7:58 pm • 3 0 • view
The police report is very different than the spokesman’s story manchester.inklink.news/rudy-giulian...
sep 1, 2025, 2:13 am • 1 0 • view
Paragraph one is boilerplate they keep around for any time they might be forced to issue a press release about Rudy's hijinks. "On ___, 20__, Rudy saved a woman in peril. After that, he...."
aug 31, 2025, 10:57 pm • 0 0 • view
What kind of miserable life does one lead where your business partner is the first one contacted? Mr. Scrooge was in a carriage accident and called for Jacob Marley but he was already dead.
aug 31, 2025, 7:57 pm • 28 1 • view
This is the first time i've laughed out loud at a dickens refprince
aug 31, 2025, 8:36 pm • 9 0 • view
Let's hear that 911 call!
aug 31, 2025, 8:10 pm • 7 0 • view
A lot of weirdness here, but his business partner was dispatched to oversee medical care? WTF?
aug 31, 2025, 7:54 pm • 36 0 • view
nk Note to self: Live your life so that your family and friends (and not your paid employees) are the ones who show up at your hospital bedside.
aug 31, 2025, 10:09 pm • 1 0 • view
Was probably servicing his “partner” when he hit his head on the the……… steering column. Would be consistent with his injuries and party affiliation
aug 31, 2025, 11:21 pm • 0 0 • view
I thought that was weird too -obvs it all is though
aug 31, 2025, 11:11 pm • 0 0 • view
It’s not like he has a caring life partner
aug 31, 2025, 11:34 pm • 1 0 • view
As awful as this all is, I still find them pitiable.
aug 31, 2025, 11:51 pm • 0 0 • view
Business partner, ie personal attorney
aug 31, 2025, 8:11 pm • 0 0 • view
Because nobody who wasn’t contractually obligated to do so was willing.
aug 31, 2025, 8:02 pm • 30 0 • view
Hold up, their business contract includes visit him in hospital? 😂😂
aug 31, 2025, 8:22 pm • 2 0 • view
I’m just spitballing here. Seemed plausible.
aug 31, 2025, 8:27 pm • 5 0 • view
What in the world does his car accident have to do with the woman he supposedly helped?
aug 31, 2025, 8:11 pm • 8 0 • view
Car accident was just reported on the nightly news with the "Batman" portion of the tale conveniently unmentioned.
aug 31, 2025, 11:21 pm • 0 0 • view
So is this like that DOGE creep claiming he was trying to protect a woman from a roving gang of black men but it turned out what actually happened was he was either carjacked by two 15-year-olds or he may actually have been the one harassing the woman when the two 15-year-olds came to her aid?
aug 31, 2025, 8:26 pm • 23 1 • view
My guess is that if called 911 and waited for police to arrive then his name will be in the police report, so they are explaining ahead of time why his name will appear in a police report that was filled out shortly before the accident?
aug 31, 2025, 11:32 pm • 1 0 • view
Wow, that's some lame-assed "Security"
aug 31, 2025, 7:55 pm • 0 0 • view
Well like, how can he even afford any private security, at this point? Weren't all his assets supposed to have been turned over to those people he defamed?
aug 31, 2025, 8:35 pm • 4 0 • view
Responders said he was the soberest man they’d ever encountered.
aug 31, 2025, 7:54 pm • 89 0 • view
I want the woman to testify under oath that she'd never personally interacted with him before he pulled over to help her.
aug 31, 2025, 8:24 pm • 5 0 • view
Hey @wmur9.bsky.social where's the reporting on this?
aug 31, 2025, 8:31 pm • 0 0 • view
Didn’t Curtis Sliwa fake his own kidnapping or something? These people are so warped
aug 31, 2025, 7:56 pm • 5 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 9:51 pm • 0 0 • view
Nailed it
aug 31, 2025, 7:50 pm • 1 0 • view
Big Ted Kennedy energy.
aug 31, 2025, 8:02 pm • 5 0 • view
Some Puerto Rican Guy strikes again!
aug 31, 2025, 8:28 pm • 3 0 • view
The police assessment is quite different from what the Guliani team has reported. manchester.inklink.news/rudy-giulian...
aug 31, 2025, 11:12 pm • 3 2 • view
this one makes sense! He wasn't the driver, wasn't involved in the DV issue, and was randomly rear-ended. His people couldn't have written this more suspiciously if they tried.
aug 31, 2025, 11:52 pm • 1 0 • view
Maybe if Four Seasons Total Landscaping was involved in the press release we'd believe it more. Lol
aug 31, 2025, 11:56 pm • 0 0 • view
HAHAHAHAHA
sep 1, 2025, 12:35 am • 1 0 • view
ok but what do we think really happened? i bet he somehow was responsible both for the crash and the woman’s injuries.
aug 31, 2025, 7:50 pm • 4 0 • view
This is the point where Mayor Adams quashes any further investigation or mention of "Mayor Giuliani" and issues pre-emotive pardon because reasons.
aug 31, 2025, 8:05 pm • 6 0 • view
🎯
sep 1, 2025, 1:38 am • 1 0 • view
It’s giving “Wear a seat belt. I did.”
aug 31, 2025, 7:57 pm • 0 0 • view
Definitely do not ask that ungrateful hu-- er, nice young lady -- who beat her up.
aug 31, 2025, 9:37 pm • 0 0 • view
OK. What’s the real story here?! This reeks of a pile of lies as only Rudy could lay them out. Maybe it’s time for him to get on in to the nearest nursing home so that he can be monitored 24/7 instead of wandering around picking fights with strangers. He’s a loose cannon.
aug 31, 2025, 8:37 pm • 3 0 • view
I, tough guy and head of security, did nothing while my boss was “helping “ the woman being attacked by totally someone else
aug 31, 2025, 7:53 pm • 3 0 • view
“His business partner was contacted” this man has no family or friends left in his life who give two shits about him. This is where all these ghouls are headed one day no matter how rich they are. Dying alone and unloved in a hospital bed with nobody feeling bad about it.
aug 31, 2025, 8:05 pm • 5 0 • view
What’s a lawnmower repair guy gonna do for a hospital patient?
aug 31, 2025, 8:21 pm • 1 0 • view
He's humble. He didn't mention helping the elderly, handicapped, pregnant, orphan across the street first, because he does that all the time.
aug 31, 2025, 11:06 pm • 0 0 • view
Yeah, that's exactly right as to tone
aug 31, 2025, 8:31 pm • 0 0 • view