I like being around kids and I would love to have one (1) eventually but I also look at families with three children and my first reaction is to think are you guys MENTAL, and I heavily doubt I would have had that reaction even two generations ago!
Replies
Top sociological fact: the biggest predictor of a couple having three kids is if the first two are the same gender
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 51 5 • view
Friend of my wife had girl triplets then they wanted a boy and she had twins! Five kids just like that (think she was on fertility meds)
sep 2, 2025, 3:23 pm • 1 0 • view
That's the case for me and my brother (separately, I must add).
sep 2, 2025, 3:34 pm • 0 0 • view
Fascinating. This applies to us but was definitely not a factor in our decision to have a third.
sep 2, 2025, 8:52 pm • 0 0 • view
and traditional farming families keep having kids until they have two boys this being an hypothesis that i can support with at least two actual observations 🤨
sep 2, 2025, 8:59 pm • 0 0 • view
Three is a hard limit for most car owners.
sep 2, 2025, 3:17 pm • 7 0 • view
Also you won't be able to afford a car with four....
sep 2, 2025, 4:06 pm • 1 0 • view
Is it? I'd have thought that after two, you can't fit another car seat in the back anyway so then it's time for a 7-seater and you could theoretically have 4 kids in there.
sep 2, 2025, 9:26 pm • 0 0 • view
That's why I said "most car owners" - the majority of people do not want to buy a 7-seater I'd think. As for car seats, often by the time you have a third kid the first one is old enough to not need a car seat (or a booster might be enough).
sep 2, 2025, 9:54 pm • 0 0 • view
good fact, thank you
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 5 0 • view
In Turkey if you ever meet someone called Yeter they’re often (usually?) the youngest child and male because the family wanted a son and it was all girls up to then. Yeter means “enough”
sep 2, 2025, 8:50 pm • 2 1 • view
Oh wow...this eerily spot on as someone has two of one gender and is currently debating whether to have a third. I don't like these odds at all *sighs*
sep 2, 2025, 3:33 pm • 2 0 • view
I first learnt about it from a presentation on French demographic data and the pattern is SO strong you can just eyeball it without even doing any fancy statistical analysis. It's the same globally
sep 2, 2025, 3:47 pm • 4 0 • view
I presume this works when trying to predict the existence of a 4th child, etc
sep 2, 2025, 8:47 pm • 0 0 • view
Yup! Or it did in the French data that was being discussed. As a Catholic country, families with three or more children are slightly more common there
sep 2, 2025, 9:05 pm • 0 0 • view
Does it make a difference which gender? I.e. if someone has 2 girls are they more likely to try for a boy than if it were the reverse?
sep 2, 2025, 9:32 pm • 0 0 • view
like Morningside 😁
sep 2, 2025, 9:22 pm • 1 0 • view
Or maybe not: as the parents raise their estimate of the probability that they can only have kids of one sex?
sep 2, 2025, 8:50 pm • 0 0 • view
In our case after three of the same, it was “okay, the universe has told us. We give up.”
sep 2, 2025, 8:51 pm • 1 0 • view
Glad my mother's parents didn't give up after three boys...
sep 2, 2025, 8:58 pm • 0 0 • view
An extreme example - one of my wife's classmates went through *six* daughters (including a pair of twins) before finally having a boy and stopping. A life I can't even imagine, as someone overwhelmed by one toddler and a newborn right now
sep 2, 2025, 4:41 pm • 2 0 • view
That's just like my uncle. Six daughters before he had a son!
sep 2, 2025, 8:57 pm • 1 0 • view
Little Women and Seven Brides for Seven Brothers had persistence, then.
sep 2, 2025, 8:59 pm • 1 0 • view
I think if my two hadn't been *such* nightmare sleepers/unwell at a very young age C and I might have gone for a third, partly because having three daughters sets a household up nicely for a Charmed scenario
sep 2, 2025, 4:12 pm • 4 0 • view
or a career in pop
sep 2, 2025, 4:12 pm • 4 0 • view
Or prophecy
sep 2, 2025, 4:13 pm • 2 0 • view
Best predictor against a couple having 3 kids is if they were the eldest children and realized the third one is ALWAYS a pain
sep 2, 2025, 3:15 pm • 2 0 • view
Look, you're grown-up now, let it go.
sep 2, 2025, 3:33 pm • 3 0 • view
Thirdly speaking....
sep 2, 2025, 3:46 pm • 2 0 • view
The second biggest predictor is they are not. Be doom boom
sep 2, 2025, 8:52 pm • 0 0 • view
Anyone who says the third is easy is just wanting you to join their why did we do this club.
sep 2, 2025, 6:17 pm • 0 0 • view
Yeah whenever I see my sister/BIL and their 3 year old and twin 6 months old girls it blows my mind. I'm overwhelmed sat in a room with those 3 for more than an hour.
sep 2, 2025, 3:17 pm • 1 0 • view
My parents had five! It really gives you an appreciation for peace and quiet, speaking as the eldest.
sep 2, 2025, 3:47 pm • 5 0 • view
(They themselves were from larger families, six (dad), seven (mum) so probably had a subconscious preference for mild chaos.)
sep 2, 2025, 3:49 pm • 1 0 • view
I have 4, and I think the same daily 😂
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 2 0 • view
Our 3 kids get along fine. None of them would like to be left out, so they learnt to get along. Leaves us parents to get on with other stuff. They'll even cook together.
sep 2, 2025, 3:35 pm • 0 0 • view
Also, our first died at 11 days. Home from Guys with an empty baby basket. After that, all of parenthood is an absolute pleasure.
sep 2, 2025, 3:39 pm • 1 0 • view
I’ve got three kids and can confirm that I’m actually not right in the head.
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 7 0 • view
I don't see how my sister and BIL could support even my two nephews without a lot of support from my mom, who cohabitates with them. Things are so expensive, and kids demand so much of your time.
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 1 0 • view
We have three. Would not recommend if you want a quiet life or are cash-strapped.
sep 2, 2025, 3:31 pm • 1 0 • view
I’m at the point where when I see young families with 3-4+ kids now, I assume they’re conservative and/or deeply religious
sep 2, 2025, 4:12 pm • 1 0 • view
My mum had 10 siblings, my dad 8. I have nearly 100 first cousins. That's Irish Catholics for you😀
sep 2, 2025, 3:14 pm • 1 0 • view
Something similar. I have, or had, approximately 75. I could pass all but 3 or 4 in the street without mutual recognition.
sep 2, 2025, 3:23 pm • 1 0 • view
I've met most of mine & keep in touch with a good few.
sep 2, 2025, 3:28 pm • 1 0 • view
Yeah, Mr L and I are both one of four (common enough in our generation I think), and we have two. The idea of being outnumbered seems mildly terrifying.
sep 2, 2025, 3:13 pm • 2 0 • view
My brother had 4 and he described the number of different combinations of arguments between them all as being exhausting.
sep 2, 2025, 3:19 pm • 1 0 • view
Speaking as a dad of two, I look at anyone with three and go "How on earth do you manage that?" And I do look back when they were younger and they aren't kidding, its 24/7 for a big chunk of your life, and it affects everything, financial, work, everything But I wouldn't change it for the world
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 3 0 • view
Big yes to that last sentence. They take over your life and spend all your money but in the end it's a good trade
sep 2, 2025, 3:20 pm • 3 0 • view
Eldest is about to go to Uni in 12 days We don't even want to think about it, even though we realise this is what happens and its a good sign
sep 2, 2025, 3:21 pm • 2 0 • view
Mine just started college too and her brother is only two years away. How did that happen?
sep 2, 2025, 3:25 pm • 1 0 • view
Yup, we've got to that stage where you wonder where the years have gone! But again, we had a really good time with them and that is what its all about - the circle of life and all that
sep 2, 2025, 3:29 pm • 0 0 • view
huh! turns out it may be a bit more complicated than that! who'd have thought! bsky.app/profile/pasc...
sep 2, 2025, 3:32 pm • 31 1 • view
You need to know what's happening with families with zero children. If the zeroes are increasing it can all look stable if families that used to have four+ kids become those with three+, threes become twos, twos become ones and the ones become zeroes and the zeroes don't appear on the chart.
sep 2, 2025, 3:58 pm • 4 0 • view
This may be wrong, but one theory I’ve heard is that single people with no kids don’t appear on research about families because if you’re on your own, you don’t count as a family at all. If there is any research on it I’d be interested to know how many women are choosing not to have kids, and why…
sep 2, 2025, 4:43 pm • 1 0 • view
A family is defined as one or more adults living in a household with one or more children. This study - journals.plos.org/plosone/arti... - includes single adults with no children and distinguishes between those that do and don't intend to have children though doesn't try to explain why.
sep 2, 2025, 4:59 pm • 1 0 • view
Thanks, very interesting.
sep 2, 2025, 6:38 pm • 0 0 • view
Yeah it’s definitely a big mix of different things with no clean answer like most people want. Some having less & some having none, some choosing not to have any (like me) others wanting them but life not working out that way for multiple reasons
sep 2, 2025, 5:18 pm • 2 0 • view
I think if you want them, then you have them, even if it makes no sense on any level ain't Biology ace?
sep 2, 2025, 3:35 pm • 0 0 • view
five didn't seem THAT crazy growing up, but from an adult perspective: absolutely no thank you.
sep 2, 2025, 7:12 pm • 0 0 • view
the second one's better because you know what to do from the first one. for the third one, you can buy those little scooters for the first two and hope they stay out of traffic.
sep 2, 2025, 3:19 pm • 2 0 • view
From our own experience, going from one to two kids was not double the trouble. But going from two to three, though? OMFG... Get a car that can take 2x car seats plus eldest squeezed in middle. Only four-occupancy max rooms, so pay for two rooms... We were just not prepared for all the differences.
sep 2, 2025, 3:46 pm • 0 0 • view
I have two kids and the idea of a third is insane to me. The additional life complexity with a third is is a huge turn off.
sep 2, 2025, 3:13 pm • 1 0 • view
Or rich. I have rich friends who have 3 or even 4. And they can afford hired help.
sep 2, 2025, 7:09 pm • 1 0 • view
I have one and have no fucking idea how people manage more without extra help from family or paying a fortune for it
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 2 0 • view
I'm four of four (my eldest sibling is Gen X and the rest of us are millennials), even when I was in primary school, I was thinking, "gosh, four of us is a lot, why would anyone want this"
sep 2, 2025, 3:21 pm • 0 0 • view
Parents need more family support. People around who can take the small person for a bit so you can do a wee / something nice / both. This whole nuclear family concept is flawed.
sep 2, 2025, 3:10 pm • 8 0 • view
Having a kids in later life also skews this. Can’t rely on now very old grandparents to cope with the workload required to survive an hour, let alone half a day.
sep 2, 2025, 3:16 pm • 3 0 • view
Yup. I had my kids late in life. There is no way my 75 year old parents could help much once my son got mobile, and they certainly wouldn’t have been able to cope at 80 when he took to running off at every opportunity.
sep 2, 2025, 5:24 pm • 2 0 • view
Some of our school pals got quite far down the having a family with a gay couple route. Fully involved four person family unit.
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 2 0 • view
I have four young couples as neighbours (two have children) who say they don't want kids/more kids because of the current environment they'd be bringing them into - everything from lack of housing to racial intolerance.
sep 2, 2025, 3:12 pm • 0 0 • view
Yeah this sounds right. Only child myself, married to another only child, & we both wanted a big family *in theory* but then decided that one&done was right for us Sibling Relationships - a faraway country of which we know nothing
sep 2, 2025, 3:41 pm • 2 0 • view
I’m one of three but it’s worse than that: having got the first two out of the house, when my sibling were 20 and 18, they decided *to start all over again* for the fun of it. They had kids in the house from 1950 until 1989 when I left for Uni…
sep 2, 2025, 3:47 pm • 3 0 • view
My father was similar, youngest of 7 but effectively raised as an only
sep 2, 2025, 3:50 pm • 1 0 • view
It’s had some interesting effects: all my friends’ parents were Silent generation or boomers: my dad actually served in the war and mum was bombed out in the Blitz. My gran was *24* at the outbreak of the First World War and could remember the country in mourning for Queen Victoria…
sep 2, 2025, 3:54 pm • 2 0 • view
Yeah I went to a 3 kid household recently and it was a complete madhouse. Dad even said 'I'd deffo recommend kids, dunno if I'd recommend 3 who are 5 and under.....'
sep 2, 2025, 5:24 pm • 0 0 • view
having three kids is weirdly hard and my wife and I definitely couldn't do it if we weren't pretty well off tbh. The fact that you can't get a vasectomy on the NHS in north Wales anymore has personally not yet become a factor...
sep 2, 2025, 3:36 pm • 1 0 • view