The DC sandwich guy has been charged with assault for shouting at a CBP officer, throwing a sub into his chest, and then running off. "I did it. I threw the sandwich," he said while he was being processed.
Replies
They overcharged him with a felony. A sign of weakness.
aug 14, 2025, 5:12 pm • 18 0 • view
This story is clearly a bunch of bologna.
aug 14, 2025, 2:00 am • 19 1 • view
Whoever was the maker of that sandwich needs to give him free sandwiches for life. Bravo. And assault? With a submarine sandwich? Bullfucking shit.
aug 13, 2025, 10:03 pm • 14 1 • view
By the time it gets to court, the maga prosecutor will have 3 witnesses to say it was a “sub-machine bun”🙄🙄🙄
aug 14, 2025, 11:58 am • 6 0 • view
Whoever made that sandwich should be sued for handing out deadly assault weapons
aug 14, 2025, 1:23 pm • 3 1 • view
Lol
aug 14, 2025, 2:04 pm • 0 0 • view
Where can I buy the Tshirt?
aug 14, 2025, 2:42 pm • 9 0 • view
Kinda gives new meaning to the word ‘hero’...🤔
aug 13, 2025, 9:01 pm • 11 0 • view
Ok, but did anyone check on the sandwich? Will it make a full recovery?
aug 13, 2025, 9:21 pm • 79 1 • view
it's toast
aug 13, 2025, 9:30 pm • 128 2 • view
aug 13, 2025, 9:58 pm • 23 0 • view
🤣🤣🤣
aug 13, 2025, 10:58 pm • 1 0 • view
🔥 🍞 🤣👏
aug 13, 2025, 10:18 pm • 2 0 • view
I read it was in the sub hospital with two broken tomatoes and a cracked bun.
aug 13, 2025, 9:32 pm • 6 0 • view
I hope the evidence collection person had it for dinner and destroyed the evidence.
aug 13, 2025, 11:05 pm • 2 0 • view
Death by a million subway sandwiches....everyone should start handing out subway sandwiches to these guys. Not violently but gently in protest of his arrest & the situation.
aug 13, 2025, 8:36 pm • 98 4 • view
Subway should be paying the sandwich guy a fortune for all the free advertising. He's done more to improve their brand than their entire marketing team has done since the brand tanked back when "the voice of Subway" Jared Fogel was convicted of possession of child porn and sex with a minor.
aug 15, 2025, 2:28 am • 1 0 • view
moldy ones tho
aug 13, 2025, 8:48 pm • 59 1 • view
🤣
aug 13, 2025, 9:12 pm • 7 0 • view
So, typical sandwiches from Subway, then?
aug 13, 2025, 11:59 pm • 1 0 • view
😂
aug 14, 2025, 12:01 am • 0 0 • view
Pork sandwiches ?
aug 13, 2025, 10:30 pm • 8 0 • view
That's extra trumpian....🤣
aug 13, 2025, 10:38 pm • 1 0 • view
Yup acab
aug 14, 2025, 2:04 am • 0 0 • view
Weirdest subway order ever I’ll take 100 turkey Sammy’s with extra spit.
aug 13, 2025, 10:29 pm • 4 0 • view
🤣
aug 13, 2025, 10:38 pm • 0 0 • view
They would still call it assault
aug 14, 2025, 1:26 pm • 1 0 • view
Baloney.
aug 13, 2025, 8:55 pm • 97 2 • view
🏆🤣
aug 14, 2025, 4:05 pm • 2 0 • view
aug 15, 2025, 2:55 am • 0 0 • view
Well I like to see a judge convict on that because a jury of his peers sure the hell won't. Talk about snowflakes that officer is most definitely a snowflake
aug 13, 2025, 10:03 pm • 14 0 • view
Next time I guess he should hit him with a flagpole or spray him with bear spray so he can get a pardon from the fat felon.
aug 15, 2025, 2:10 am • 6 0 • view
Sandwiches are dangerous! Imagine getting hit by a ham sandwich?Terrifying!
aug 14, 2025, 1:28 am • 1 0 • view
thank goodness sandwich guy is off the streets!
aug 13, 2025, 9:07 pm • 2 0 • view
I have reviewed the video. He got overly excited and the sandwich merely slipped from his hand and somehow made contact with the snowflake officer and being considerate he ran off to get some napkins.
aug 13, 2025, 10:21 pm • 110 5 • view
You show great promise as a defense attorney 🤣🤣🤣
aug 14, 2025, 7:05 am • 0 0 • view
You win!
aug 14, 2025, 3:52 am • 0 0 • view
😂
aug 13, 2025, 11:46 pm • 9 0 • view
Yes! There was most likely some mayonnaise on the wrapper that made it extra slippery.
aug 14, 2025, 12:07 pm • 0 0 • view
Is there a GFM for his legal defense? I
aug 13, 2025, 10:19 pm • 7 0 • view
Well crap: It was almost lunchtime; he was just giving the officer his lunch.
aug 14, 2025, 6:34 am • 4 0 • view
Dear god, he threw a sandwich. Throw him into a cell at Alligator Alley. Seriously, I would much prefer having a sub thrown at my chest, then having all this bullshit about violent crime lobbed at my head.
aug 14, 2025, 10:49 am • 2 0 • view
OMG next KKK ICE will dig up Mrs. Doubtfire and file charges for drive by fruity… seriously nothing better to do with Federal Resources then this…omg wait… maybe Subway sandwiches can destroy bullet proof vests… umm did it have chipotle dressing???
aug 14, 2025, 2:10 am • 3 0 • view
Sandwich guy’s confession 😂😂
aug 14, 2025, 2:07 am • 3 0 • view
He did what WE all want to do and he did it in Pretty in PINK 🤌🫶him/he 😍
aug 14, 2025, 4:29 pm • 1 0 • view
Assault with a breadly weapon is a serious crime. 🥖
aug 13, 2025, 11:26 pm • 188 5 • view
Hahahaha!!! Seriously if he had tossed one of my mom’s health food loafs, he would’ve dropped that guy.
aug 15, 2025, 12:17 am • 1 0 • view
Assault with a tasty weapon!
aug 13, 2025, 11:41 pm • 2 0 • view
🍻💀 🏆
aug 13, 2025, 11:30 pm • 6 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 11:10 pm • 1 0 • view
I came here for this comment ftw.
aug 14, 2025, 1:50 am • 1 0 • view
Life in prison without a roll
aug 14, 2025, 4:37 am • 48 1 • view
😂
aug 14, 2025, 8:11 am • 4 0 • view
I love your rye humor.
aug 14, 2025, 1:30 pm • 5 0 • view
Nice 😂
aug 14, 2025, 5:30 pm • 1 0 • view
Sandwiches are the new milkshakes.
aug 13, 2025, 11:52 pm • 15 0 • view
Does this guy have a sponsorship from Subway or Jersey Mikes yet?
aug 14, 2025, 12:10 pm • 6 0 • view
Did I ever tell you, you're my HERO? You're everything, everything I wish I could be. I could fly higher than an eagle. For you are the wind beneath my wings.
aug 14, 2025, 2:03 pm • 9 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 7:07 pm • 1 0 • view
What a waste of a good sandwich 🥪
aug 14, 2025, 12:48 am • 7 0 • view
No need to be sad for it, it was a subway sandwich.
aug 14, 2025, 12:33 pm • 2 0 • view
You know how weak the cops look when a sub sandwich makes them testify they were in fear of bodily harm and afraid for their lives? 😂😂😂😂😂😂🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🏆 Not all heroes wear capes!!
aug 13, 2025, 11:04 pm • 56 2 • view
The good ones just need a napkin
aug 13, 2025, 11:24 pm • 29 0 • view
no need to show fear of bodily harm nor afraid for their lives to prove assault on a federal officer. Now, whether a DC jury will convict on these facts is questionable. Good luck prosecuting this one.
aug 14, 2025, 6:28 am • 7 0 • view
How are they going to find twelve people who will stop laughing for long enough to convict, though?
aug 14, 2025, 6:36 am • 21 0 • view
12 Hangry Men
aug 14, 2025, 1:54 pm • 10 1 • view
This is way funnier than people are acting
aug 14, 2025, 11:11 pm • 1 0 • view
Bastards They’d never have gotten me to admit to more than a grinder
aug 13, 2025, 10:42 pm • 3 0 • view
I want to buy the sandwich guy a beer.
aug 13, 2025, 9:24 pm • 30 0 • view
He’s earned a place on our wall of fame, Stonewall 2025
aug 14, 2025, 4:35 pm • 0 0 • view
This is again, so pathetic, these “officers” are beating up on people, tazing them, throwing people to the ground and this guy gets charged with “assaulting” someone with a sandwich? Really?
aug 20, 2025, 12:28 am • 0 0 • view
What a waste. Eat the sandwich and throw the trash!
aug 13, 2025, 9:29 pm • 3 0 • view
😳
aug 13, 2025, 9:25 pm • 1 0 • view
Our tax dollars at work to get those real criminals off the streets! The level of stupidity of MAGAts is immeasurable.
aug 14, 2025, 3:45 pm • 8 0 • view
Does he not know how much deli meat costs these days?! wtf would you waste a perfectly good sandwich!!!
aug 14, 2025, 10:51 am • 5 0 • view
It was subway, not “perfectly good”
aug 15, 2025, 1:38 am • 1 0 • view
Oh. Ehh. It’s mostly bread then lol
aug 15, 2025, 1:45 am • 1 0 • view
Violent crime on DC streets! Sandwich-related assaults are up 1200 percent.
aug 13, 2025, 8:30 pm • 927 43 • view
This is the sorta copy cat thing I can get behind. Hilarious.
aug 13, 2025, 11:49 pm • 4 0 • view
When the troops return to Portland, and they will, $5 says we citizens of Rose City will pelt them with ciabatta!! LOL! I hope this becomes a thing, too! 🤣🤣🤣
aug 14, 2025, 6:25 am • 4 0 • view
Seems a small price to pay.
aug 15, 2025, 2:05 am • 1 0 • view
Blessings to the Sandwich Guy!!! Love that man!
aug 14, 2025, 11:32 pm • 3 0 • view
Luigi lite
aug 15, 2025, 2:06 am • 1 0 • view
Many people are saying Trump will reduce them by 1500%
aug 14, 2025, 2:31 am • 4 0 • view
The inverse of drug prices under MAGA, so that is what the kids call vertical synergy
aug 13, 2025, 11:31 pm • 74 0 • view
Sandwichgate….. Good time to release the Epstein files!
aug 14, 2025, 9:41 pm • 5 1 • view
I didn’t think there was enough mustard on that thrown sandwich to garner this charge.
aug 13, 2025, 9:21 pm • 6 0 • view
a knuckle sandwich
aug 14, 2025, 2:51 am • 5 0 • view
Time for martial law. Can't be throwing sandwiches. Guns are fine, but this is way over the line.
aug 13, 2025, 10:05 pm • 48 0 • view
Thoughts and prayers. There's no law that could have prevented this. Sandwiches don't assault people, people do.
aug 14, 2025, 2:34 am • 30 1 • view
Tots and pears go well with sandwiches.
aug 14, 2025, 10:04 pm • 1 0 • view
Looks like crime is going up with more police and soldiers on the beat. Perhaps a self-fulfilling prophecy. Trump the ‘genius’ does it again!
aug 13, 2025, 11:00 pm • 5 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 9:23 pm • 9 0 • view
and how is the delicate cop doing that was wearing full gear, did he break a nail 🤣
aug 13, 2025, 9:45 pm • 3 0 • view
No, just a sweat
aug 14, 2025, 12:03 am • 2 0 • view
Can that be a thing? can everybody protest by chucking a meatball sub at these idiots? I mean, I’m not for hoagie abuse a lot of them really look like they need to eat fresh;)
aug 14, 2025, 12:21 am • 2 0 • view
I love this thread!
aug 14, 2025, 11:20 am • 3 0 • view
I would contribute to pay his legal fees.
aug 14, 2025, 3:53 pm • 0 0 • view
What can we do for this guy? Does he need bail?
aug 13, 2025, 11:39 pm • 14 1 • view
Free him. He did nothing wrong.
aug 13, 2025, 9:36 pm • 6 0 • view
That is just ridiculous
aug 13, 2025, 11:15 pm • 7 0 • view
Laughable. Pardons for violent J6 rioters and this guy charged for throwing a sandwich. 🥪 🤦🏻♀️
aug 13, 2025, 9:27 pm • 329 27 • view
The difference is that you can be pretty sure no Democrat will announce they'll pardon him if elected President (which is why they keep losing)
aug 14, 2025, 1:01 am • 1 0 • view
You nailed it!
aug 13, 2025, 10:57 pm • 3 0 • view
Let the side-by-side memes begin being prepared
aug 14, 2025, 12:21 am • 1 0 • view
Now that is an excellent point
aug 13, 2025, 10:25 pm • 33 0 • view
Isn’t the sandwich at fault here?
aug 14, 2025, 1:48 pm • 7 0 • view
🤣 Pam blondie will surely be charging that sandwich with assault by bologna
aug 14, 2025, 4:05 pm • 7 0 • view
Lol
aug 14, 2025, 6:33 pm • 0 0 • view
100%
aug 14, 2025, 6:31 pm • 0 0 • view
People don't assault police Sandwiches assault police Btw ... Where in the hell is the 2A crowd with the "muh guns are to protect gainst the tranny of the federal gubermint putting troops on the streets?" No a single, solitary peep.
aug 14, 2025, 5:21 pm • 1 0 • view
There were good sandwich...eh people on both sides. 🤭
aug 14, 2025, 3:42 pm • 1 0 • view
I was chastised for having a wrapped granola bar in my purse when I toured the Capitol building.
aug 13, 2025, 11:10 pm • 1 0 • view
They beat cops senseless.
aug 14, 2025, 6:29 pm • 1 0 • view
So, ICE felt threatened by a sandwich.
aug 13, 2025, 8:43 pm • 523 21 • view
Maybe it was it a torpedo sandwich? If it was trump throwing it, it would be a pedo sandwich. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
aug 14, 2025, 5:27 pm • 1 0 • view
That sandwich had holy water in it. That’s lethal to ICE thugs.
aug 13, 2025, 11:26 pm • 2 0 • view
While wearing a tactical vest! These guys are soft. 😅🤣😂
aug 14, 2025, 9:16 pm • 1 0 • view
It wasn't ICE, it was--idk, not NG either? Some Feds that actually leave their faces uncovered. To their credit, they just stood there immobile while he was screaming in their faces, only taking off after him like Keystone Kops when he threw the sub. Pretty Mayberry by U.S. standards really.
aug 13, 2025, 10:03 pm • 12 0 • view
Customs & Border Patrol officer.
aug 13, 2025, 10:31 pm • 5 0 • view
Sorry, CBP stands for Customs and Border Protection. That sub agency of DHS (lol, lmao) contains within it BP, which IS Border Patrol
aug 13, 2025, 11:13 pm • 3 0 • view
Yes, sorry…had a brain fart while typing it earlier. 😆
aug 14, 2025, 2:59 am • 1 0 • view
gotta mind that DC border with, uh, you know. All those other countries.
aug 14, 2025, 1:20 am • 2 0 • view
Ikr?
aug 14, 2025, 2:00 am • 1 0 • view
Is it within a hundred miles of the ocean? Then the cpb can do whatever they want to do without regards to constitutional rights, warrants or normal legal procedure.
aug 14, 2025, 11:44 am • 0 0 • view
I mean, but they’re behaving like ICE. Tomato/tomato.
aug 14, 2025, 11:17 pm • 0 0 • view
Snowflake much ?
aug 14, 2025, 2:08 am • 0 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 2:53 pm • 3 0 • view
CPB, they are just as bad as ICE though.
aug 14, 2025, 9:05 pm • 0 0 • view
It was brown bread.
aug 13, 2025, 10:46 pm • 9 0 • view
bsky.app/profile/ched...
aug 14, 2025, 10:13 pm • 1 0 • view
It was loaded.
aug 13, 2025, 8:46 pm • 537 7 • view
You never know.
aug 13, 2025, 8:57 pm • 68 1 • view
Subhuman behavior
aug 13, 2025, 11:34 pm • 119 1 • view
🤣
aug 14, 2025, 1:18 pm • 1 0 • view
😂😂
aug 14, 2025, 3:30 am • 12 0 • view
👏👏👏
aug 14, 2025, 6:08 pm • 0 0 • view
Loaded with lettuce, pickles and onions, oh my. 😁
aug 14, 2025, 3:06 am • 4 0 • view
Now I'm really hungry! 😀
aug 14, 2025, 6:06 pm • 3 0 • view
Assault with a deli sandwich. As a protest move the sandwich thrower went against the whole grain. 🙄 Nothing funnier to me then watching someone chase someone else because of them committing ham slaughter. So proud of all DC protesters. 👏👏
aug 14, 2025, 6:19 pm • 1 0 • view
That mayo is incredibly difficult to get off stuff...
aug 14, 2025, 5:24 pm • 2 0 • view
🤣🤣🤣
aug 13, 2025, 10:53 pm • 1 0 • view
👏👏👏
aug 13, 2025, 11:06 pm • 1 0 • view
That's follow material is what that is.
aug 14, 2025, 2:15 pm • 0 0 • view
Yes, but it had pickles on it! 😱
aug 15, 2025, 4:31 pm • 1 0 • view
They feel threatened by skin color so a sandwich isn’t much of a surprise
aug 14, 2025, 1:24 pm • 1 0 • view
ICE agents are all crybabies. Weaklings.
aug 14, 2025, 11:18 am • 9 1 • view
His attorney is fire 🔥. Watch this one quietly disappear.
aug 14, 2025, 6:30 pm • 9 0 • view
“Yes, your honor, I confess that I threw the sandwich at this man. But I thought that he looked hungry!”
aug 14, 2025, 2:56 am • 10 1 • view
“Agent throught he was bleeding, but it turned out to be ketchup.”
aug 14, 2025, 2:55 am • 6 1 • view
Like on trumps ear
aug 14, 2025, 1:53 pm • 4 0 • view
Has he been nicknamed “the Subway Fugitive” yet?
aug 14, 2025, 2:08 am • 9 0 • view
“Suspect is armed with sandwich, chips and pickles and is considered dangerous.”
aug 14, 2025, 2:00 am • 14 1 • view
If I was on the eventual jury in this case I would vote not guilty, this case is baloney
aug 13, 2025, 9:03 pm • 48 0 • view
Fuckin hero finally shows up!! Stop filming and start stopping the Gestapo. They like jumping 6 on 1, let’s see if they like the same done to them. If there is 10 of them, 50 hero’s need to show up!
aug 14, 2025, 12:36 am • 4 0 • view
FREE THE PINK POLO SUB GUY
aug 13, 2025, 9:23 pm • 10 0 • view
To the tune of Pink Pony Club: PINK POLO SUB I'M GONNA KEEP ON RUNNIN bsky.app/profile/fuel...
aug 13, 2025, 11:35 pm • 14 1 • view
"The sandwich to go heard round the world."
aug 13, 2025, 11:59 pm • 9 0 • view
Officers seem to have very short fuses. Speaking of fuses, aren’t they trained to defuse situations rather than inflame them? As an aside, it was a wrapped sandwich so I doubt his uniform was even soiled.
aug 13, 2025, 8:57 pm • 5 0 • view
Cops strangled Eric Garner to death for selling cigarettes, entered the wrong house and killed Breonna Tayler without identifying her, kneeled on George Floyd's neck until he died for allegedly using a counterfeit $20 bill. They're not at all trained to defuse & often use 'roids. Drug test cops.
aug 13, 2025, 11:21 pm • 11 1 • view
Great idea. Also, a person can have training, but refuse to put it into practice.
aug 14, 2025, 12:37 am • 3 0 • view
That IS true, however: www.apmreports.org/story/2021/0...
aug 14, 2025, 12:40 am • 6 1 • view
Thanks for that! That’s shocking, as is the link at the bottom of the page, “Not trained not to kill.”
aug 14, 2025, 2:05 am • 2 0 • view
Apparently ICE agents are snowflakes ❄️!
aug 14, 2025, 4:15 pm • 6 0 • view
He should get a medal.
aug 14, 2025, 4:45 pm • 0 0 • view
Please have a GoFundMe. 🤣
aug 13, 2025, 11:18 pm • 23 1 • view
“What’s the crime? Throwing a meal? A sweet delicatessen meal?”
aug 14, 2025, 7:13 am • 27 1 • view
😂😂😂
aug 14, 2025, 7:31 am • 1 0 • view
This is democracy manifest!
aug 14, 2025, 8:27 am • 4 0 • view
He would not have been arrested if he had thrown a dildo instead.
aug 15, 2025, 7:38 pm • 3 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 9:20 pm • 8 0 • view
I threw the sandwich that I bought at the subway and which left a stain on his tactical vest
aug 14, 2025, 4:21 am • 16 2 • view
Niiiice!
aug 14, 2025, 10:52 am • 3 0 • view
"I threw the sandwich."
aug 13, 2025, 10:54 pm • 20 0 • view
Thank god the officer was wearing body armor
aug 14, 2025, 4:00 pm • 27 0 • view
Good for him! Resistance is the way! This is just one form to release our collective rage.
aug 14, 2025, 3:30 am • 2 0 • view
Shame with Subs!
aug 13, 2025, 10:37 pm • 1 0 • view
Captain, there’s only 10 of us, we are going to need backup. White people are throwing subway at us.
aug 13, 2025, 10:29 pm • 29 1 • view
Back in the day he would've been charged with public disturbance, now these sissies that want respect, charge ppl like him with assault. Pussies.
aug 14, 2025, 1:02 am • 24 1 • view
bsky.app/profile/tama...
aug 14, 2025, 8:18 pm • 0 0 • view
Assault with a deadly sandwich. I bet that lunchmeat was full of nitrates!
aug 14, 2025, 6:12 am • 3 0 • view
CBP officer is a crybaby… being hit by a sandwich.. really? The officers called to protect our elected officials on J6 were beaten for hours.. sprayed with toxins, hit with metal pipes.. crutches, smashed by doors, threaten to be shot with their own gun…. dtrumpf pardon them… what a sick fk
aug 13, 2025, 11:02 pm • 69 7 • view
The officer is traumatized now by being hit with a sandwich…he now has BLT-PTSD! 🤣
aug 15, 2025, 3:58 am • 2 0 • view
#LetSandwichGuyGoFree #StandWithSandwichGuy
aug 14, 2025, 3:05 pm • 2 0 • view
Start the outrage onslaught. Prepare your city councils to beware of fed authorities moving into our cities in response to harmless actions and protests. People are holding shit together pretty well xc for the MAGAt crazies who prefer to shoot people dead. Just a sando, but cracks are appearing
aug 14, 2025, 8:54 pm • 2 0 • view
Not to worry. Trump pardons those who assault the police.
aug 13, 2025, 9:24 pm • 66 1 • view
🎵I threw the sandwich But I did not throw the bag of chips🎵
aug 13, 2025, 9:29 pm • 1,675 104 • view
Name that tune! 😂😂😂 (The meter is perfect!)
aug 14, 2025, 3:27 am • 3 0 • view
you beat me to it! (I was going to say "the curly fries") ☮️💜🎵
aug 14, 2025, 1:59 pm • 2 0 • view
Ah, if only Subway offered curly fries! But I strive for accuracy in my nonsense.
aug 14, 2025, 2:05 pm • 4 0 • view
Ugh sooo good!
aug 14, 2025, 3:51 am • 0 0 • view
BRILLIANT!!!! 🍀
aug 13, 2025, 10:41 pm • 3 0 • view
🙌
aug 14, 2025, 3:33 am • 0 0 • view
🏆
aug 13, 2025, 10:07 pm • 1 0 • view
Woah. 🤯 made my whole night right there HAHAHAHAHAH
aug 14, 2025, 9:50 am • 1 0 • view
Down to the syllables if you know what you’re doing. 🤣🫶
aug 14, 2025, 9:50 am • 1 0 • view
"I threw the sandwich but I am did not storm the Capitol"
aug 14, 2025, 6:22 pm • 0 0 • view
We have a winner!
aug 13, 2025, 9:33 pm • 123 1 • view
A wiener?
aug 13, 2025, 10:06 pm • 80 0 • view
🏆🏆🏆🏆
aug 14, 2025, 2:08 am • 0 0 • view
but i swear it was in self-defense
aug 13, 2025, 11:18 pm • 24 1 • view
And they say it is a capital offense
aug 13, 2025, 11:58 pm • 8 2 • view
Or in this case: a Capitol offense
aug 14, 2025, 2:07 am • 11 2 • view
The chips weren’t included in the deal?
aug 13, 2025, 11:08 pm • 1 0 • view
...Sheriff Brown Mustard always hated me...
aug 14, 2025, 4:33 pm • 0 0 • view
...every time that I'd plant a seed, He'd say "Is that for here or to go?"
aug 14, 2025, 4:51 pm • 0 0 • view
Damn, you - Kurt! The freakin’ ear worm!
aug 14, 2025, 6:03 pm • 0 0 • view
I find this to be particularly effective against earworms: www.youtube.com/watch?v=1xgw...
aug 14, 2025, 6:40 pm • 0 0 • view
😂😂😂😂😂 thank you!
aug 13, 2025, 10:21 pm • 1 0 • view
OMG, that had me rolling. Thank you, it's the hardest I've laughed in weeks. 🤣
aug 14, 2025, 1:26 pm • 0 0 • view
Or the Diet Coke!
aug 14, 2025, 10:28 pm • 1 0 • view
Sir, you win the interwebs today 🏆
aug 14, 2025, 2:30 am • 1 0 • view
Instant follow, no account vetting needed. Bravo! 🎵
aug 14, 2025, 10:12 pm • 0 0 • view
😂😂😂
aug 14, 2025, 5:43 am • 0 0 • view
I just sang that! 🤣
aug 14, 2025, 12:24 pm • 0 0 • view
I know, right? How can you not???
aug 14, 2025, 2:03 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 10:04 pm • 4 0 • view
😂😂😂👏👏👏
aug 14, 2025, 2:50 am • 0 0 • view
Oh no oh
aug 13, 2025, 11:45 pm • 0 0 • view
Winner, Winner chicken dinner !
aug 13, 2025, 10:14 pm • 2 0 • view
I heard this in my head when I started to read it
aug 14, 2025, 8:23 pm • 1 0 • view
Maybe the gestapo should have eased on down the road instead of inciting a sandwich throw. What babies.
aug 13, 2025, 9:24 pm • 22 0 • view
Was this during hoagie fest?
aug 13, 2025, 11:41 pm • 4 0 • view
So where do we donate to his legal fund?
aug 14, 2025, 1:39 am • 8 0 • view
It won’t take long at this rate and that sandwich will be replaced with a brick. And the target will be higher than the middle of the vest.
aug 13, 2025, 10:55 pm • 2 0 • view
Hero throws hero
aug 14, 2025, 1:23 am • 17 0 • view
We need a new version of Alice’s Restaurant
aug 13, 2025, 11:18 pm • 7 0 • view
The "I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth" section seems pretty apt for the present...
aug 13, 2025, 11:23 pm • 8 0 • view
An American hero!
aug 13, 2025, 9:54 pm • 23 1 • view
***snort*** I see what you did there. 🤣
aug 14, 2025, 3:58 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 6:05 pm • 1 0 • view
Wow police must be so soft to get upset over a sandwich!
aug 13, 2025, 10:51 pm • 13 0 • view
A lot of them do look kinda doughy
aug 13, 2025, 11:25 pm • 11 0 • view
If a person supposed to “protect people” is fried over a little dough it’s over for them idk what to tell them
aug 14, 2025, 12:19 am • 5 0 • view
But sir! The sandwich was toasted!
aug 14, 2025, 2:02 pm • 2 0 • view
Well I guess those cops are toast!
aug 14, 2025, 2:03 pm • 1 0 • view
Anyways while you're here, Amani's chuffed has finally moved after about a week of being stagnant so don't slow down! bsky.app/profile/sail...
aug 14, 2025, 2:10 pm • 0 0 • view
It wasn't a donut.
aug 14, 2025, 7:50 pm • 1 0 • view
Don't talk to police.
aug 13, 2025, 10:13 pm • 5 0 • view
Do you want fries with that?
aug 13, 2025, 10:24 pm • 6 0 • view
Well Trump did tell the DOJ to “not enforce the sub-style sandwich ban."
aug 14, 2025, 12:50 am • 4 0 • view
Sandwich Artist
aug 13, 2025, 9:58 pm • 7 0 • view
[VALJEAN] I threw a loaf of bread! My sister's child was close to death And we were starving. [JAVERT] You will starve again Unless you learn the meaning of the law.
aug 13, 2025, 11:20 pm • 30 0 • view
This is extremely my shit, Spock 🖖
aug 13, 2025, 11:24 pm • 12 0 • view
Jersey Mike needs to post his bond.
aug 13, 2025, 8:42 pm • 647 5 • view
They only donate to the GOP. Can’t find out Subway’s affiliation. But somebody needs to defend Sandwich Hero!
aug 15, 2025, 4:01 am • 1 0 • view
And hire him as their new spokesperson. I’d be a customer for life.
aug 13, 2025, 9:02 pm • 340 5 • view
But you already know everything he could tell you (aside from the ingredients of the sandwich he threw). If you're not already convinced to be their customer for life, what would his endorsement change?
aug 14, 2025, 1:48 am • 9 0 • view
Can you say more about Jersey Mike?
aug 14, 2025, 11:45 am • 0 0 • view
I was assuming, from thread context, that the sandwich came from a store in the Jersey Mike's chain. There's now reporting that it was a Subway sandwich. The thrower could still go on to rep Jersey Mike's or any other sandwich maker (or grocery?) and my concerns over the logic are misplaced.
aug 14, 2025, 2:43 pm • 1 0 • view
They should do it anyway bc it would be hella funny.
aug 14, 2025, 3:33 am • 29 0 • view
Jersey Mike's having a guy who "assaulted" a cop with a sandwich for their spokesperson might just be the most "Jersey" thing they could do.
aug 14, 2025, 12:51 pm • 84 0 • view
I concur.
aug 14, 2025, 4:51 pm • 9 0 • view
And we in NJ would be proud.
aug 14, 2025, 10:19 pm • 3 0 • view
He has to wear the same pink shirt and khaki shorts in all the commercials.
aug 15, 2025, 2:10 am • 4 0 • view
Especially since Subway refuses to offer this man free sandwiches for life.
aug 14, 2025, 3:31 am • 3 0 • view
Well, duh, they're on team pedo.
aug 14, 2025, 4:46 am • 5 0 • view
Then Jersey Mike's should give him the free subs he deserves. That would be the cherry on top. Their sandwiches taste better and make better projectiles. 😋
aug 14, 2025, 4:51 am • 0 0 • view
Jersey Mikes are redhats. No free sandwiches from them. 🤢
aug 14, 2025, 6:40 am • 1 0 • view
Nooooooo!
aug 14, 2025, 9:36 pm • 0 0 • view
Sad but true.
aug 15, 2025, 1:18 am • 0 0 • view
aug 15, 2025, 1:20 am • 1 0 • view
Unfortunately, I think Jersey Mike is a Trump supporter.
aug 13, 2025, 11:14 pm • 3 0 • view
He is. 🤢
aug 14, 2025, 6:39 am • 2 0 • view
What will the charges be ? Actual assault? Was it a club sandwich?
aug 13, 2025, 9:53 pm • 174 5 • view
Oh my pearls💙🤣💙🤣💙🤣💙🤣
aug 13, 2025, 11:11 pm • 6 0 • view
🤣🤣🤣
aug 13, 2025, 10:58 pm • 1 0 • view
I've also heard assault with a deli weapon and assault with a breadly weapon. The sandwich puns on are on fire today.
aug 14, 2025, 2:00 pm • 2 0 • view
a salt n pepper
aug 14, 2025, 5:31 pm • 1 0 • view
🤣🤣🤣
aug 14, 2025, 12:28 pm • 1 0 • view
😂🤣😅
aug 13, 2025, 10:08 pm • 18 0 • view
Lettuce not sink to our baloney instincts
aug 14, 2025, 1:00 am • 3 0 • view
Literally a hero
aug 13, 2025, 10:47 pm • 22 0 • view
No chips, just a nice big side of jury nullification.
aug 15, 2025, 2:45 pm • 1 0 • view
🩷
aug 13, 2025, 10:16 pm • 17 0 • view
This proves how pathetic + desperate trump's traitors are.
aug 13, 2025, 9:31 pm • 5 0 • view
Oh that poor poor policeman, how will he ever recover from being assaulted with a sammie. 🙄 Those fucking azzholes. They choose to do this disgusting work, they need to accept the consequences that normal people will get upset.
aug 13, 2025, 11:46 pm • 30 1 • view
#hero #goodtrouble
aug 13, 2025, 11:21 pm • 4 0 • view
It seems that the cop in question was wearing a tactical vest. Are they going to tell us that the vest is ineffective against a sandwich?
aug 13, 2025, 9:21 pm • 607 26 • view
It could have been an armor piercing sandwich. You never know!
aug 14, 2025, 1:12 pm • 5 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 1:17 pm • 0 0 • view
It still smells like oil, vinegar and oregano. It's spoiling the cop's donuts.
aug 14, 2025, 1:17 pm • 1 0 • view
Cop going into court
aug 14, 2025, 3:49 am • 0 0 • view
😂😂😂
aug 13, 2025, 9:54 pm • 44 1 • view
It hurt his feelings 🙀❤️🩹
aug 15, 2025, 10:58 am • 0 0 • view
Because…. If so… Imagine the possibilities.
aug 13, 2025, 10:17 pm • 4 0 • view
Turns out pepperspray doesn’t spray that kind of pepper.
aug 14, 2025, 4:19 pm • 0 0 • view
A tactical vest does not claim to protect the wearer’s feelings.
aug 13, 2025, 11:02 pm • 24 1 • view
Sub-standard.
aug 13, 2025, 11:37 pm • 8 0 • view
And, isn’t this why they wear masks, to not risk having to taste a Subway sammich?
aug 14, 2025, 6:01 pm • 0 0 • view
They don’t work if they get mustard on them!
aug 13, 2025, 11:44 pm • 5 0 • view
Kevlar isn't stain-proof.
aug 15, 2025, 12:43 am • 0 0 • view
It's not a girdle!
aug 13, 2025, 11:31 pm • 2 0 • view
I mean, it was thrown FORCEFULLY.
aug 14, 2025, 12:10 am • 0 0 • view
"Throwing a sub into his chest"? Seriously? "Into" implies penetration. What kind of terminal velocity is this food item supposed to have had?
aug 14, 2025, 8:04 am • 8 0 • view
It's probably from Amazon, so likely substandard protection against sandwiches.
aug 14, 2025, 5:05 am • 1 0 • view
Bahahahahaha
aug 14, 2025, 11:15 pm • 0 0 • view
Mustard stains are forever
aug 14, 2025, 1:37 am • 0 0 • view
Well your honor, it shows quite clearly in the Tactical Vest Test Report that it was never designed for, nor tested against, sandwich-based threats.
aug 14, 2025, 3:53 am • 4 0 • view
Shame. Food is sacred and should never be wasted.
aug 13, 2025, 10:48 pm • 2 0 • view
Beaning a fuckin fed is no waste
aug 14, 2025, 5:22 pm • 1 0 • view
Off with 'is head!!!
aug 14, 2025, 12:01 am • 2 0 • view
Meanwhile, Ghislaine Maxwell is enrolled in a work release program in a minimum security prison.
aug 14, 2025, 7:05 am • 14 0 • view
Cheez is crust…
aug 13, 2025, 10:35 pm • 6 0 • view
Fighting fascism one footlong at a time!
aug 14, 2025, 12:33 am • 20 1 • view
That’s one way to find out the identities of these thugs.
aug 14, 2025, 4:39 am • 7 1 • view
We've got the meats
aug 13, 2025, 10:49 pm • 3 0 • view
Yea! Fuck those guys
aug 13, 2025, 10:48 pm • 1 0 • view
File under snowflake assault - (yes assault.. but snowflake assault)
aug 14, 2025, 1:37 pm • 5 0 • view
Turns out the cop was just mad there was no guacamole on the sub 🤷🏼♀️
aug 13, 2025, 11:04 pm • 7 0 • view
🤣
aug 14, 2025, 1:35 pm • 2 0 • view
These a-holes are walking around in full battle rattle and they are scared of some words and a sandwich. What a bunch of crybaby fascists
aug 13, 2025, 8:50 pm • 13 0 • view
What an absolutely 'heinous' act after having your city invaded for no good reason. MAGA: "I hope he gets the death penalty."
aug 14, 2025, 3:36 am • 9 0 • view
What I don't understand is how this police report does not actually exonerate the perpetrator. Is a Customs And Border Patrol agent anywhere near their jurisdiction when in Washington, D.C.? What legal authority do they have to enforce any law in this setting? Ergo, how is this an assault on a law
aug 13, 2025, 11:16 pm • 13 0 • view
enforcement officer and not just basic assault... the type of which prosecuting is a waste of a federal court's time, attention and efforts (much like charging an "I'm not touching you" jerk with harassment)?
aug 13, 2025, 11:16 pm • 9 0 • view
Did you actually think about those questions you’re asking?
aug 15, 2025, 1:44 am • 0 0 • view
Moving to DC in hopes I get on the jury.
aug 14, 2025, 10:34 pm • 1 0 • view
Where’s the gofundme, I’ve got some $$ to donate.
aug 14, 2025, 5:35 am • 5 0 • view
Amazing how much of a snowflake every in the trump admin is. From the POTUS all the way down to the jackbooted thugs in traipsing around in full battle rattle. I thought these were supposed to be tough guys.
aug 13, 2025, 8:52 pm • 15 0 • view
those sound like charges that 1 year ago would have really pissed off any decent judge. i believe the phrase is "laughed out of court"
aug 13, 2025, 9:35 pm • 11 0 • view
I threw the sandwich That's balogna! It was Tuna fish you idiot!
aug 14, 2025, 3:32 am • 6 1 • view
Thank you for your service against false V-1.
aug 14, 2025, 4:31 am • 3 0 • view
I can see why the Pedo Prez had to act. Things in DC have gotten out of hand. Next it will be bagels and after that maybe even - horrors- burgers.
aug 13, 2025, 10:04 pm • 10 0 • view
Burgers might be a bridge too far, considering the price of beef!
aug 13, 2025, 11:52 pm • 2 0 • view
...and then.... horror of horrors..(gasp)..the KETCHUP!!!
aug 13, 2025, 10:10 pm • 11 0 • view
No wonder DC needs help with policing. Their officers are apparently total snowflakes.
aug 14, 2025, 2:23 am • 6 0 • view
It was an ICE agent who was the "victim."
aug 14, 2025, 8:16 pm • 0 0 • view
SAD.
aug 14, 2025, 10:58 pm • 1 0 • view
For Christ’s sake! Relax! It’s not like it was a steak bomb.
aug 15, 2025, 4:11 am • 1 0 • view
Wow, these heavily armed fascist can be awfully sensitive. 😢❄️❄️❄️
aug 14, 2025, 5:36 pm • 19 1 • view
I hope Subway starts at two for 1 foot long deal one to eat and one to toss at evil
aug 14, 2025, 3:16 pm • 32 1 • view
Brilliant
aug 14, 2025, 7:06 pm • 1 0 • view
This guy should win the Noble Peace prize for admitting something. Bring honesty back Merica
aug 14, 2025, 3:15 pm • 2 0 • view
When he does go to court, every other person in the room should get up one at a time and say "I threw the sandwich!"
aug 13, 2025, 10:04 pm • 109 3 • view
Then say”Rubble Rubble!” and run out of the courtroom with Mayor McCheese and Officer Big Mac in hot pursuit.
aug 14, 2025, 4:16 am • 3 1 • view
👍
aug 13, 2025, 10:14 pm • 11 0 • view
calling this a crime, what a bunch of bologna
aug 14, 2025, 6:22 am • 34 1 • view
How it's Dunn Dunn Dunn.
aug 13, 2025, 10:39 pm • 7 0 • view
So what did it piss the stupid fucking idiot guy off Because he couldn't eat it off his clothes Or what?!
aug 14, 2025, 12:13 am • 1 0 • view
So this is what taxpayers are paying for huh? A real scary criminal. Someone please make a meme of this and post on Truth Social. Better yet….a billboard at the WH gates.
aug 14, 2025, 6:05 am • 12 0 • view
We are all the sandwich guy...
aug 13, 2025, 10:25 pm • 150 7 • view
How many people are going to walk the streets with sub sandwiches today?!
aug 14, 2025, 2:18 pm • 6 1 • view
😂🤣 100%
aug 14, 2025, 12:18 am • 22 2 • view
(Psst… hey sandwich guy… Trump pardoned 1500 rioters, including many who assaulted police, some quite violently. I’m sure you can expect a pardon for just throwing a sub… 🙄)
aug 13, 2025, 11:52 pm • 22 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 10:47 pm • 243 57 • view
🤣🤣
aug 14, 2025, 1:20 pm • 0 0 • view
Putting this on Facebook, it's golden.
aug 14, 2025, 2:35 pm • 13 0 • view
Hero
aug 14, 2025, 9:55 am • 13 0 • view
Grinder
aug 14, 2025, 10:35 am • 6 0 • view
Well, that stopped fascism.
aug 13, 2025, 10:39 pm • 3 0 • view
He spoke up when he saw the opportunity and used the tools at hand. If more people did that, we would be alright.
aug 13, 2025, 11:31 pm • 9 0 • view
What Crap! Grow a pair...
aug 13, 2025, 10:10 pm • 2 0 • view
Oh man! I hope that CBP officer survives.
aug 14, 2025, 1:40 am • 5 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 10:02 pm • 11 1 • view
Ok, all due respect to sandwich guy. But. DO NOT under ANY circumstances admit guilt while you are being arrested!!!!
aug 14, 2025, 2:47 am • 8 0 • view
OMG!!!
aug 13, 2025, 10:04 pm • 2 0 • view
Not all heroes wear capes.
aug 14, 2025, 11:30 am • 15 0 • view
Or even better... bsky.app/profile/sher...
aug 14, 2025, 1:48 pm • 5 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 1:09 pm • 0 0 • view
Was it a Club sandwich?
aug 13, 2025, 11:38 pm • 9 0 • view
The CBP Goon should have said "Thank you" for the Free Sub Sandwich!... Actually, The D.C. Sandwich Guy should sue the Goon for NOT paying for the sandwich!... Just sayin'...
aug 14, 2025, 5:11 pm • 4 0 • view
I love you, DC sandwich guy
aug 13, 2025, 9:23 pm • 71 4 • view
Those lettuce burns are to be taken seriously, folks. There are contrails in them!
aug 13, 2025, 9:57 pm • 7 0 • view
I'm Subwaycus!
aug 13, 2025, 8:48 pm • 193 7 • view
♥️
aug 14, 2025, 3:38 am • 0 0 • view
hahahaha well done !
aug 13, 2025, 9:28 pm • 18 0 • view
“I threw the Hero, but I didn’t throw the deputy” by Bob Marley
aug 13, 2025, 10:12 pm • 53 4 • view
We can all go home now. You win the internet for today. PS: #murdermittens my cat hates you because my laugh at your comment interrupted her post-hunt nap
aug 13, 2025, 11:22 pm • 20 0 • view
Thank you, high praise indeed! 😹😹
aug 14, 2025, 12:03 am • 7 0 • view
“I threw the sandwich, but I didn’t throw the pa-ni-ni” is better not mine
aug 14, 2025, 2:53 pm • 1 1 • view
Is shouting part of the assault charge?
aug 13, 2025, 10:12 pm • 3 0 • view
A Salt with a Deli Weapon
aug 13, 2025, 10:14 pm • 14 0 • view
Yes, funny. I'm just wondering if it is a crime yet to yell.
aug 13, 2025, 10:16 pm • 2 0 • view
Give it time. They seem pretty sensitive. ❄️❄️❄️
aug 13, 2025, 10:22 pm • 2 0 • view
Indeed. I know that the First Amendment means to them only that they get to say what they want without any public or even private consequence, but I do want to know at what volume speech becomes "assault."
aug 13, 2025, 10:23 pm • 3 0 • view
Im guessing here, but they'll say it's when they feel in any way threatened.
aug 13, 2025, 10:27 pm • 2 0 • view
Ye, when we open our mouths.
aug 13, 2025, 11:10 pm • 2 0 • view
Headline: "Snowflakes with assault rifles afraid of sandwiches"
aug 13, 2025, 10:18 pm • 27 0 • view
Hero tosses hero at villain
aug 13, 2025, 11:33 pm • 38 1 • view
Villain assaulted by hero!
aug 13, 2025, 11:40 pm • 30 1 • view
Nice
aug 14, 2025, 12:06 am • 0 0 • view
The dude should tell them he's a close friend of Jared (the former Subway Spokesman) so Trump will pardon him.
aug 14, 2025, 12:32 am • 15 0 • view
Yeah, he's a diddler too
aug 14, 2025, 4:52 am • 2 0 • view
I suspect bail has been made . . and then some😀.
aug 13, 2025, 9:32 pm • 2 0 • view
Sounds like George Washington...but not like Lyin'Donnie Trump.
aug 13, 2025, 10:40 pm • 3 0 • view
DC sandwich guy charged with assault with a deli weapon.
aug 14, 2025, 12:45 am • 66 7 • view
aug 14, 2025, 1:01 am • 13 0 • view
Ed McMahon voice: May-yo!
aug 14, 2025, 3:59 am • 4 0 • view
Our hero. Or grinder. I'm not sure which one but either way, he should be a quitted of all charges
aug 14, 2025, 1:53 am • 15 0 • view
Oh no, was the sandwich okay?
aug 13, 2025, 11:20 pm • 17 1 • view
Can I go all Q here. This guy threw a sub. Who was the spokesperson for Subway for a bunch of years? That's right...Jared. And what is Jared in jail for? Don't you see how it all fits together?
aug 13, 2025, 11:30 pm • 11 0 • view
They are diddle buddies
aug 14, 2025, 4:56 am • 0 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 11:40 pm • 6 0 • view
No littering charge though?
aug 14, 2025, 12:47 am • 4 0 • view
I am guessing they plan to deport the sub.. I mean it’s brown😉😉
aug 14, 2025, 2:49 am • 5 0 • view
Where is the fund me and my sub throwing habit sub-raiser?
aug 13, 2025, 9:47 pm • 3 0 • view
The sandwich was so stale as to cause actual harm? Dang!! 😆
aug 14, 2025, 4:34 am • 5 0 • view
I guess their tactical gear isn’t sandwich resistant, hope the officer didn’t have to spend the night in the ER.
aug 14, 2025, 12:25 am • 24 1 • view
First time the tiny dicked fascists have seen something six inches long.
aug 14, 2025, 11:20 am • 26 0 • view
I didn’t know Subway had Fa’Loney sandwiches on their menu!
aug 14, 2025, 12:35 pm • 4 0 • view
So violent!
aug 13, 2025, 8:44 pm • 1 0 • view
I hope a Democrat with money will help him with legal fees.
aug 14, 2025, 1:53 pm • 7 0 • view
Assault With A Deli Weapon
aug 13, 2025, 10:25 pm • 1,595 96 • view
Great!
aug 14, 2025, 1:13 pm • 1 0 • view
Try your waitress, tip the veal!
aug 14, 2025, 1:42 am • 2 0 • view
👏🏻 I bow to your genius. I think we're done here. And that's a wrap.
aug 14, 2025, 12:39 am • 19 1 • view
No, I'm pretty sure it was a hoagie
aug 14, 2025, 12:53 am • 11 0 • view
Bah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
aug 14, 2025, 1:47 am • 4 1 • view
aug 14, 2025, 3:35 am • 3 0 • view
That brought me so much joy.
aug 13, 2025, 11:59 pm • 3 0 • view
🏆 You win the internet today.
aug 13, 2025, 10:26 pm • 92 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 10:32 pm • 12 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 4:31 am • 1 0 • view
Found Michael Giacchino's alternate account
aug 14, 2025, 7:21 am • 1 0 • view
I may need that on a tee 😂
aug 14, 2025, 3:50 pm • 1 0 • view
underrated
aug 13, 2025, 11:11 pm • 3 0 • view
Assault with a breadly weapon.
aug 14, 2025, 3:29 am • 28 0 • view
sub-versive activity...amirite🤡
aug 14, 2025, 1:16 am • 3 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 10:44 pm • 5 0 • view
BRAVO!!
aug 14, 2025, 8:41 am • 1 0 • view
aug 13, 2025, 11:46 pm • 5 0 • view
Mayonnaise: "May-in they's" some crazy shidt goin' on 'round heah!
aug 14, 2025, 12:10 am • 4 0 • view
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
aug 14, 2025, 12:23 am • 2 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 3:18 am • 2 0 • view
I seriously laughed out loud!
aug 14, 2025, 12:22 am • 4 0 • view
👏👏👏👏👏👏
aug 14, 2025, 7:27 am • 1 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 1:42 am • 3 0 • view
I guess he’s in a pickle.
aug 14, 2025, 3:48 pm • 5 0 • view
😂
aug 14, 2025, 1:48 pm • 1 0 • view
abcnews.go.com/Politics/mag... New Kevin Bacon game. Name a federal, NY or Florida judge and find a connection to the criminal in chief
aug 14, 2025, 12:29 am • 7 0 • view
Sandwich Guy Turns Down Kennedy Center Honors, Opts to Accept Nobel Peace Prize That Same Night. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!
aug 14, 2025, 2:53 am • 32 3 • view
Florida bologna sandwich assault case "While the domestic incident would normally be charged as a misdemeanor, the alleged bologna battery was upgraded to a felony due to Chandler’s multiple prior battery convictions" www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/st...
aug 13, 2025, 9:11 pm • 1 1 • view
they're pathetic how much time and money are they going to waste to take this to court
aug 13, 2025, 9:33 pm • 6 0 • view
How pathetic does this LEO have to be? If someone threw a sandwich on me and DA wanted to indict I’d be like nah, I’m good.
aug 14, 2025, 12:31 am • 19 0 • view
I LOVE this. I want to donate to his legal defense.
aug 13, 2025, 9:59 pm • 30 0 • view
All it takes is one jury member to send him home. Good luck with that.
aug 14, 2025, 2:57 pm • 6 0 • view
Elect me president and I will pardon the sub thrower and also get CBP out of DC.
aug 14, 2025, 12:03 am • 24 1 • view
aug 14, 2025, 12:04 am • 35 4 • view
No, that wasn't a sub....it was a hero.
aug 13, 2025, 10:56 pm • 18 0 • view
I hope they bought him another sandwich on the way to station. If a kid who just murdered people at a church can go to Burger King on the way.
aug 13, 2025, 9:40 pm • 19 0 • view
😂🤣✊🥪
aug 13, 2025, 11:50 pm • 20 1 • view
I thought these guys were supposed to be tough.
aug 13, 2025, 11:18 pm • 4 0 • view
Where's the Venmo number for him so I can send him some "coffee money"?
aug 13, 2025, 9:42 pm • 5 0 • view
Those screen shots have big “Alice’s Restaurant” energy.
aug 13, 2025, 8:48 pm • 49 1 • view
Not to mention the aerial photography
aug 13, 2025, 10:22 pm • 1 0 • view
“Littering. And they alll moved away from me on the bench.”
aug 13, 2025, 11:12 pm • 17 0 • view
I wanna dill. Dill! DILL!!
aug 14, 2025, 2:50 am • 5 0 • view
Or in this case drill. Drill. DRILL!
aug 14, 2025, 1:14 pm • 1 0 • view
Oh the humanity 😱
aug 14, 2025, 9:43 pm • 0 0 • view
assault with a tasty weapon
aug 14, 2025, 1:21 am • 14 0 • view
If he is the sub., imagine how the dom. goes by
aug 13, 2025, 11:49 pm • 8 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 4:45 am • 1 0 • view
If only he had attacked the officer with a flag-pole, then he might have a chance at a pardon.
aug 13, 2025, 11:45 pm • 156 10 • view
A sandwich? Really
aug 13, 2025, 9:12 pm • 8 0 • view
"Forcefully" Had it not been thrown forcefully, there would be no case But he threw the sandwich "forcefully" Law is law Dura lex sed lex: I am sorry but it's not me that makes the rules😎🤓
aug 14, 2025, 4:16 am • 5 0 • view
If only the law applied to everyone.
aug 14, 2025, 10:52 am • 4 0 • view
If they're going to charge you with assault anyway might as well throw in a pizza too
aug 13, 2025, 11:33 pm • 13 0 • view
Shouting in public is NOT “assault.” It is a protected Constitutional right. Throwing a sandwich-and apparently making contact - although requiring laundry pre-treatment - is hardly “assault.” I hope the touchy government lawyers are laughed out of court.
aug 13, 2025, 8:51 pm • 349 13 • view
#badlegaltakes
aug 13, 2025, 11:13 pm • 0 0 • view
#bageltakes ??
aug 14, 2025, 6:02 pm • 1 0 • view
Throwing the sandwich was 100% battery. Yelling in someone's face can be assault if it makes the person fear for their safety. That pig obviously didn't fear for their safety before the sandwich hit, though. And I doubt any DC jury would convict if the guy pushed for a trial
aug 13, 2025, 10:27 pm • 5 0 • view
Today I learned that DC doesn't separate assault and battery! They're both under assault with higher penalties for stuff like broken bones. The more you know 🌈
aug 13, 2025, 10:31 pm • 7 0 • view
Depending on the sandwich, it might not be assault, it might be an oregano.
aug 14, 2025, 1:45 am • 1 0 • view
technically it is, for better and for worse; you can get assault charges for throwing a drink in someone's face, not just a cop either. that said, "no (D.C.) jury would convict" probably.
aug 13, 2025, 10:05 pm • 10 0 • view
Assault is a threat to physical harm, creating a reasonable fear of battery. Battery involves physical contact. A drunk man hitting an officer (expressly on the streets to intimidate) with a sandwich, in ARMOR, and charging that man is the most feeble, pathetic, cowardly excuse of policing there is
aug 13, 2025, 10:35 pm • 9 0 • view
Is he a real officer of the law?
aug 13, 2025, 11:39 pm • 0 0 • view
Definitely a potato sack dressed as a Rent-a-Nazi
aug 13, 2025, 11:40 pm • 4 0 • view
I dunno about that. I just read serious legal testimony concerning MTG’s pockets and an Arby’s roast beef sandwich.
aug 14, 2025, 12:05 am • 1 0 • view
Eh, legally it’s totally assault & if he goes to trial jury instructions will be “did he throw the sandwich or not” If he doesn’t have any priors can probably plead out to some probation & community service, but they’ll threaten him with a couple years in prison
aug 13, 2025, 9:52 pm • 119 0 • view
Is it assault if the perpetrator knows his sandwich will not cause harm to the target? Because assault requires intent to do harm or cause bodily injury. mpdc.dc.gov/sites/defaul... Sounds like they’re just trying to run up this dude’s legal bills.
aug 14, 2025, 1:17 pm • 1 0 • view
I think in court they’ll have no trouble arguing that because he threw it in anger while intoxicated he could have caused harm and any reasonable person would know that he could cause harm & at least half of any jury won’t need any convincing.
aug 14, 2025, 1:29 pm • 0 0 • view
It’s DC. Chances are high that the jury will see this bullshit for what it is.
aug 14, 2025, 1:44 pm • 1 0 • view
They’ll bring in an expert witness to discuss the one or two documented freak accidents where a thrown sandwich landed in someone’s eye and made them go blind or whatever
aug 14, 2025, 1:29 pm • 0 0 • view
But yes, they’ll also try to run up his legal bills and make him genuinely fear they’re going to press for a maximum sentence to get him to plead to a lesser one, standard procedure in criminal cases
aug 14, 2025, 1:30 pm • 0 0 • view
Maybe apocryphal, but heard of a domestic assault case (brother v. brother-in-law). V was a PO. Judge asked V, were you afraid (of BIL’s actions). V, being macho, said “NO.” Judge directed a finding of not guilty as being placed in fear is an element of assault.
aug 13, 2025, 10:30 pm • 4 0 • view
He should take this to trial, no one is convicting him in DC.
aug 14, 2025, 12:22 am • 1 0 • view
Under US Code: If the Officer knew it was a soft, harmless (and tasty) hoagie, it actually may not be assault. But if defendant through the tasty hoagie with the intent to get Fed Officer to eat it instead of performing his duties, probably...assault
aug 13, 2025, 11:39 pm • 1 0 • view
I'd be a "not guilty".
aug 14, 2025, 9:19 pm • 0 0 • view
However if I was on the jury I still would say it WASN'T assault. J6 was assault
aug 13, 2025, 11:10 pm • 5 0 • view
Apparently there's precedence in this case. bsky.app/profile/chur...
aug 13, 2025, 11:24 pm • 9 0 • view
Assault requires that the person intends to injury a person. The jury instructions will be did he intend to injury the officer?
aug 14, 2025, 11:29 pm • 0 0 • view
If you throw something at someone when you’re angry then you intended to harm. I think that’s a little ridiculous when the something is a sandwich and the “victim” is wearing body armor, but that’s the way the criminal justice system thinks
aug 14, 2025, 11:53 pm • 1 0 • view
No. The reason we have juries is to apply logic and experience. You have to convince a group of people that throwing a sandwich was intended to harm someone. If you and I don't think that this amount to an attempt to harm a jury of people like you won't either.
aug 15, 2025, 12:56 pm • 0 0 • view
But most charges don’t lead to jury trials & in most cases going to trial (as opposed to taking a plea bargain) sets you back *another* $10K or more in legal fees & you’ll be gambling that the jury will see things as you do, which may be common sense but not what the criminal statute says.
aug 15, 2025, 1:13 pm • 0 0 • view
Like I truly don’t believe this guy should be facing these charges & I do hope that they are dismissed or he’s found not guilty & in this particular case his odds are good. Also he’ll likely be able to crowdfund to cover his legal fees given all this publicity.
aug 15, 2025, 1:13 pm • 0 0 • view
But I’ve been on the receiving end of an inflated/ridiculous criminal charge & I wish people would understand that right & reason aren’t the main forces at work in the criminal justice system & mounting even a successful defense can wreck your life & finances for a looong time
aug 15, 2025, 1:13 pm • 0 0 • view
I don’t have the time or inclination to go into details but I’ve experienced firsthand the absurdity of our criminal justice system and everyone saying “it was only a sandwich, how can they call it an assault” just isn’t getting how things tend to work. Not how they *should* work, how they do
aug 14, 2025, 11:55 pm • 0 0 • view
Minimum mandatories would come into play. Several examples in DC in 2025. Most likely an A2 charge with possible fine
aug 14, 2025, 4:18 am • 2 0 • view
Absurdity is rampant.
aug 13, 2025, 10:54 pm • 5 1 • view
Given the context, it was an extension of his free speech, not reasonably calculated to cause any physical harm, part of the "rudeness" of free speech that officers of the law are expected to tolerate. No really, the cops' attitudes have changed to tough guy, but the law is still "protect & serve."
aug 15, 2025, 4:13 am • 0 0 • view
I mean you’re free to throw a sandwich at a federal officer and make this claim in court if you want.
aug 15, 2025, 4:22 am • 0 0 • view
As I’ve mentioned in other replies here, I’ve had firsthand experience with facing serious charges for a minor offense & I wouldn’t play around here if you’re not ready to have your life turned upside down for a few years. Looking at $10k for legal bills in a best case scenario.
aug 15, 2025, 4:22 am • 0 0 • view
It's a misdemeanor, disorderly conduct. But everything is performance drama with these MAGA freaks, so they're charging him with a felony assault. And they're gonna get laughed right out of court.
aug 14, 2025, 6:13 pm • 0 0 • view
Yes ty
aug 13, 2025, 10:23 pm • 2 0 • view
It’s battery since he actually hit the pig with the sub.
aug 13, 2025, 11:00 pm • 0 0 • view
If you’re serious about resistance in these type of matters when the city is occupied and when you’re a juror, just say not guilty.
aug 13, 2025, 10:12 pm • 2 0 • view
Oh I agree, but I think that it’s easier to say you’d do jury nullification than to actually follow through when you’ll likely be dealing with peer pressure from other jurors & all 12 of you will have gotten instructions that you’re only supposed to consider what the statute says & no wider context
aug 13, 2025, 11:13 pm • 2 0 • view
years ago I plead guilty on a stupid charge that in some places would be ripe for jury nullification. Discussing options w/my lawyer he advised me that it’s deeply foolish to hope someone on the jury will share your opinion on the absurdity of the charges, jury nullification is basically nonexistent
aug 13, 2025, 11:13 pm • 1 0 • view
You will never actually know if that is true, and your lawyer will never know either, because of the Comply In Advance machine. Hardly ever put to the test. Also, "peer pressure", why on earth would anyone care what 11 total strangers you will never see again think
aug 14, 2025, 1:39 am • 1 0 • view
On the first part I mean yeah, sure, to a degree, but if you have a lawyer you trust & they’ve been repping defendants in that community for over a decade they probably have a good sense of the odds.
aug 14, 2025, 1:57 am • 0 0 • view
And yeah the “comply in advance machine” sucks, but like, in my case the offer was no jail, community service & $2k fines if I took the plea, or the DA would ask for 3 months jail if I lost at trial. 3 months in jail is enough to lose everything. Maybe the DA is bluffing, but do you chance it?
aug 14, 2025, 1:57 am • 0 0 • view
I did not mean to judge you for your choices. The sandwich guy is as far from a typical criminal assault case as can be imagined.
aug 14, 2025, 2:15 am • 0 0 • view
On the jury peer pressure thing, that’s just basic social dynamics. Some people can resist that for awhile, but if you’re the one keeping everyone from going home day after day…people care about that stuff, it’s not easy pissing off people you’re spending all day locked in a room with
aug 14, 2025, 1:57 am • 0 0 • view
I've never been on a jury, but it shouldn't take any significant education to realize that if you say "not guilty", it's over and they can't do jack about it. As for peer pressure, I don't get it. Make clear you're not changing your mind and the jury can quit at any time, can they not?
aug 14, 2025, 2:13 am • 0 0 • view
You're right but I think a lot of it is based on ignorance. It sure doesn't help that judges basically lie about it to the juries, and lawyers select against knowledge of it when picking the members of those juries.
aug 14, 2025, 12:19 am • 0 0 • view
aug 14, 2025, 3:49 am • 0 0 • view
This is screaming jury nullification though. Risky but I know I would have trouble not laughing my ass off during deliberations.
aug 13, 2025, 10:07 pm • 15 0 • view
No jury for a misdemeaner.
aug 13, 2025, 11:26 pm • 1 0 • view
Would be charged as a felony
aug 14, 2025, 4:18 am • 1 0 • view
Why do you think that? 18 USC 111 (a) 1 is class A misdemeanor with a maximum sentence of up to a year in prison. My understanding is only “petty offenses” that is offenses with a maximum penalty of 6 months or less are excluded from the right to a jury trial.
aug 14, 2025, 1:25 am • 1 0 • view
He’s being charged with a felony assault on a police officer. He’s looking at a year of legal hassles and probably at least 20 grand in legal fees in the best case scenario where he gets off completely.
aug 14, 2025, 2:53 am • 1 0 • view
He is being charged with violating 18 USC 111(a)1 which is a class A misdemeanor and not a felony. His charges are in the statement of facts above at the end. I agree he is looking at least a year of legal hassle. As the saying goes—you can beat the rap but you can’t beat the ride.
aug 14, 2025, 3:08 am • 1 0 • view
Judge Jeanine put out a video saying they’re charging him with felony assault. Maybe she’s bullshitting, maybe they decided they could get away with bumping up the charges
aug 14, 2025, 3:57 am • 0 0 • view
She’s not a judge. She’s a prosecutor.
aug 15, 2025, 12:14 am • 1 0 • view
lol I might have been mixing her up with Judge Judy
aug 15, 2025, 12:51 am • 0 0 • view
bsky.app/profile/patr...
aug 14, 2025, 3:58 am • 0 0 • view
I stand corrected. But catching a felony for throwing a sandwich is some straight up bullshit.
aug 14, 2025, 11:53 pm • 1 0 • view
Is it a misdemeanor charge? I’d assumed felony but if you’re right that’s great
aug 13, 2025, 11:47 pm • 2 0 • view
Throwing a sub is not felony assault 😂😂😂
aug 14, 2025, 12:54 am • 0 0 • view
Sure it is. It involves LEO. They’ll charge it as a felony
aug 14, 2025, 4:19 am • 2 0 • view
Oregon is so different. 😂
aug 14, 2025, 4:54 am • 1 0 • view
Yes, in Oregon the throwing of the sandwich would be charged as a misdemeanor unless the officer was someone injured it
aug 14, 2025, 6:23 am • 1 0 • view
bsky.app/profile/patr...
aug 14, 2025, 4:21 am • 0 0 • view
Yep. All day every day.
aug 14, 2025, 4:23 am • 1 0 • view
They're making it felony assault. Just to be vindictive, which is all Trump has.
aug 14, 2025, 6:15 pm • 0 0 • view
They’re charging him with felony assault on a police officer. They’ll at least threaten him with the max sentence which is probably at least 10 years.
aug 14, 2025, 2:51 am • 1 0 • view
That doesn’t mean he gets convicted or gets a sentence anywhere near that long, but people need to be aware that this admin is going to go all out on punishing people and while it may be legit funny & pretty cool what this guy did, he’s got a rough road ahead of him.
aug 14, 2025, 2:51 am • 1 0 • view
I mean I think it absolutely can be? America has really strict laws! Anytime you touch someone in any way against their will it’s potentially a felony assault (or battery I can’t remember which is which) offense!
aug 14, 2025, 1:00 am • 1 0 • view
But you understand that that’s fucking stupid, right
aug 14, 2025, 12:08 am • 0 0 • view
Laws written neutrally AT BEST in satire of the spirit of good faith between a one-party-two-aesthetics imperial state that lies through its teeth about laws like this being useful to civilian conflicts when they’re actually gonna be used exactly like this more often than not: fuck that shit ok
aug 14, 2025, 12:11 am • 0 0 • view
Ok op appears to know it’s stupid but like. Others should also know It’s fucking stupid
aug 14, 2025, 12:12 am • 1 0 • view
This is amusing, if Jan 6 assholes had attacked with sandwiches, Trump would have made them stay in prison?
aug 13, 2025, 10:16 pm • 1 0 • view
The jury needs to accidentally get some pamphlets about jury nullification. That shit judges pull should be illegal.
aug 13, 2025, 10:01 pm • 199 4 • view
If you're interested in Jury Nullification fliers and pamphlets visit FIJA.org It's constitutionally protected to distribute such pamphlets outside courthouses. Just remember to give to everyone and not target a specific case or jury
aug 15, 2025, 3:32 am • 1 0 • view
If you just happen to get ALL prospective jurors while on public property, it's a lot harder for them to argue jury tampering. They might try, though. Other DAs have.
aug 14, 2025, 12:18 am • 1 0 • view
There is some truth in that!
aug 13, 2025, 10:24 pm • 17 0 • view
If they don't change the venue, they won't find a single jury that will convict.
aug 13, 2025, 11:28 pm • 93 1 • view
I hope he fights this! I really want to find out if the judge can convict him and not laugh 😂. Someone needs to be in court to cover this story, it’s gonna be a doozy!
aug 14, 2025, 1:17 am • 1 0 • view
Very true!!!
aug 15, 2025, 4:02 am • 2 0 • view
I don't think they'll find a jury in D.C that will convict.
aug 14, 2025, 6:14 pm • 1 0 • view
🙏🤞🍀
aug 14, 2025, 6:31 pm • 0 0 • view
🤞🙏🍀
aug 13, 2025, 11:44 pm • 14 0 • view
It won’t be a jury, just a judge.
aug 13, 2025, 11:25 pm • 0 0 • view
Updated. Charged with felony assault on a police officer. bsky.app/profile/patr...
aug 14, 2025, 2:54 am • 4 0 • view
Said the drunk who was arrested for driving 119 miles an hour. She paid a fine and walked.
aug 14, 2025, 6:17 pm • 3 0 • view
Her outfit should be a felony-visual assault
aug 14, 2025, 3:07 pm • 0 0 • view
I’ll give her some credit though for not being obviously intoxicated. Must’ve filmed this at 8 am, she’s just had the first nerves-steadying drink of the day
aug 14, 2025, 3:11 pm • 0 0 • view
He might well say that he nervously surrendered his sandwich because he felt threatened and frightened and just wanted to leave.
aug 13, 2025, 11:29 pm • 6 0 • view
I want to be on that jury. I might find him guilty of bad taste for eating at Subway but, I guess that’s not a crime.
aug 14, 2025, 11:45 am • 9 0 • view
🤣
aug 14, 2025, 1:40 pm • 0 0 • view
Give him credit for throwing the Subway sub.
aug 14, 2025, 12:50 pm • 4 0 • view
It was an assault sub!
aug 13, 2025, 10:08 pm • 8 0 • view
Border Patrol is acting like the sandwich had immigrants hiding in the mayonnaise. Was it a footlong? He probably felt emasculated by its overwhelming girth. Cowards. We don't want them in any city. They should move to Germany and see how far their nazi salutes get them.
aug 13, 2025, 10:03 pm • 33 1 • view
Sometimes Heroes are more than sandwiches.
aug 13, 2025, 11:38 pm • 22 0 • view
Shout out to Heroes and Hoagies
aug 13, 2025, 11:41 pm • 12 0 • view
The GoFund me is where? Seriously.
aug 13, 2025, 11:37 pm • 29 2 • view
lol, the world is waiting.
aug 14, 2025, 2:38 am • 5 0 • view
At first, I thought he was naked, 'Oh great. Naked crazy guy throwing sandwiches at the NG.'
aug 14, 2025, 2:45 am • 4 0 • view