After pouring my heart out in that letter and sending it to the support group, I was subsequently blocked by the moderators of the group. It was pretty deflating. All I could think was: "My ex wife is right. I am pathetic. Even my own people don't want anything to do with me".
I could see how that’d be disheartening. To feel rejected by your in-group is tough. But it seems to me it could have just been a small subset (or even a singular person) who complained loudly to the mods. So from what you’ve written it doesn’t appear conclusive that your “own people” reject you.
Still though, it really hurts to be completely cut out of your community. I have only experienced this myself in social media circles when prominent members had decided to block me without notice or any reason (that I am aware of). Fractured the group dynamic. Not nearly as bad as your situation
But my brother, on the other hand, has experienced something at a more widespread level. We both grew up in a religion that taught ex-communication as a form of punishment for people who “willfully sin”, and he happened to turn out to be gay, meaning our entire community cut him out of their lives.
Including our own parents. Only myself and our sister remain in his life from his childhood. I ended up cutting out my parents from my life because I could see that maintaining a relationship with them, even passively, continued to hurt my dear brother who did nothing wrong.
That's awful. That had to be really hard on your brother.
Yeah, it was… it still seems to be, though not as bad as before. He’s doing great now, though. He describes that experience now as helping shape him into the kind, empathetic and emotionally aware individual that he is today—that allows him to succeed in his current life.
But FWIW, you’re one of the few people from Twitter that I remembered the name of, and one of the few people I’ve recommended to others that you’re worth following. I don’t think I’m alone, seems that you’re making a positive difference for a lot of people.
That means a lot. Especially with everything going on right now. Which is actually a lot more complicated, and difficult, than what I've explained publicly.
It never got to the group. The mods rejected it. They were protecting the group from being exploited by researchers. But it still hurt.
Ah man, that too bad. Like, why couldn’t they have just rejected the post and not banned you, since you were also a traumatic brain injury victim? Also, you’d think they’d embrace researchers who share their experience to help advance treatment options.