I think there's something to the notion of masculinity being orthogonal to maturity, that it's possible to have one and not the other, but due to patriarchy they commonly get conflated
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imo masculinity can be whatever we socially construct it to be, as can femininity! if we want it centered on things like maturity, honor, and generosity, we can do that. explicitly delineating the two is expressing both a belief in some essential version of masculinity and one that sucks, at that
aug 31, 2025, 3:25 pm • 12 0 • view
Very true, but I'm a bit of a masculinity/feminity abolitionist because I don't see why some positive traits should be relegated to one gender or another when ideally everyone would embody them, nor should there be these two baskets of traits that are at least implicitly pitted against each other.
aug 31, 2025, 3:36 pm • 6 0 • view
I think this is part of where the masculinity/maturity conflating comes from. If the masculine ideal contains notions of leadership and assertiveness, which I suspect it does for most, then feminity in contrast contains ideals of submissiveness and deference.
aug 31, 2025, 3:36 pm • 4 0 • view
I also suspect most notions of maturity run counter to those "feminine" traits so the double negation connects maturity to masculinity, which is where someone might feel the need to fight back against that notion. There are a lot of assumptions underpinning this so I am very open to being wrong.
aug 31, 2025, 3:36 pm • 3 0 • view
I guess I just reject the idea entirely that 'masculinity' and 'feminity' must be composed of mutually exclusive traits. in fact that seems very binary and toxic to me, defining masculinity as inherently anti-feminine. I think they can and probably should have shared traits!
aug 31, 2025, 3:39 pm • 9 0 • view
I definitely agree, I just wonder if the binary notions of both can be shifted from the two circle model to a ven diagram model where there can be those overlapping ideals or if the model has to be thrown out with something new taking its place.
aug 31, 2025, 3:44 pm • 1 0 • view
I think some just like expressing their gender and attempting to be the best version of it they can be. That can be compatible with others abolishing the concept for themselves. But also for those who feel strongly about their gender, abolition would involve a replacement that has the same function.
aug 31, 2025, 3:51 pm • 1 0 • view