Man the liquor stores are gonna be absofuckinglutely BARREN in mere hours

Haha I just said this. I’m sober 7-1/2 years & am thinking HARD about that sip of champagne I promised myself when he left🥂

He's not worth jumping off the wagon for but he's worth days of dancing in the street

I'm British, and I'LL buy something alcoholic to send that Fucker on his way to the flaming pits!

This is when we all take to the streets in DC. Like people from all over the US come to DC. National protests to oust this administration because Vance/Miller/ Vought/Kegseth/Noem/Hunan /Johnson need to be run out if town and country.

They need to be disassembled.

I have already identified the closest place that has 24/7 slushies, because I want a nice big slushie to celebrate. And I don't care what time it is.

The only indication is that Trump's schedule is empty and he hasn't been seen in public for two days, and this was after that huge bruise on his hand he's been trying to hide for a week. It's wishcasting at the moment, but if not today, then someday.

Trump suddenly talking about Heaven, more than once. Vance announcing he's ready to step up. No golf this weekend, no cameras, no truthing. I think he's having major surgery.

I say, let's all gather together and help Goku form his Spirit Bomb.

🤞🏿🤞🏿🤞🏿

He was also supposed to fly to NJ and give public remarks today but both were canceled. And Vance is suddenly back from his forever vacation and giving speeches and interviews.

And Stephen Miller had to come out to give RFK Jr a vote of confidence

I also remember seeing a bit of an interview he did where he talked about the possibility of being President if Trump died. The timing of that just adds to the theory that he's actually dead.

And if there’s one thing we’ve learned since they took office, it’s how much Vance loves to go on vacation. Literally more vacations than months in office.

There are going to be actual parties in the street outside, and I dunno if the news networks will be able to keep out the music and cheering.

When it was finally called that he’d been voted out in 2020, the gas station down the street from me was effectively shut down. An impromptu dance party broke out, people were standing on top of cars and showering everyone with champagne while Maria’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” blasted.

Only thing that spurs it for me is that it means VD Vance will/would become president. Eugh

But here’s the silver lining: even they hate him and he won’t be able to rally people the way Trump has.

I suspect that unlike Trump, JD Vance can be persuaded to flee the country.

I’m begging our side to take one win ever.

That and every single red state, county, and city renaming a street and park for him.

My friends all know when it happens, the ultimate keger house party at our place. I bought fireworks in July…I hate fireworks.

i've been saying this for years: IMO the celebrations will rival those at the end of WWII. we'll see I guess..!!

I'd be tempted to drive down to DC to party and I HATE driving.

We have been enduring this horseshit for *ten years.* Longer, if you count all the "birther" years. Fucking WWII didn't even last that long and at least a couple million Nazis died in the process, we haven't even gotten that much ...

Honestly, he's proved that he will NOT stop making our lives worse as long as he's alive. Hence why we're all hoping. It's the only way we'll even kind of be free from him.

Vance has the charisma of a wad of used chewing gum under a school desk. The amount of work keeping him propped up in office will be ten times what they do for Trump, and the press won't play along because just like DeSantis Vance isn't "fun" for them.

Vance is the unflavored gelatin of Nazis. Plus we all know "President Couch Fucker" will be EEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVERRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYwhere and that's gonna fuckin HAUNT

Vance hasn't got the guts for it either. He's sleazy and corrupt, but he's not a mobbed-up lifelong conman and thief. Imagine him dealing directly with the Murdoch machine, the MAGA true believers, and the criminals who got Trump where he is. The incompetent Keystone Kabinet will be no help at all.

With the Republicans basically having turned into a cult of personality around Trump, without Glorious Leader, the leopards are going to turn around and start eating their own faces, because none of them really have his level of support among the party.

This is early enough in the term that Vance could only run once after this because he'll have been in the office more than half the term, right?

Just Dance Vance 😂

Also factor in the deep conspiracy theorists who'll think vance bumped off trump

First he kills the Pope… Wait, would this mean that Cruz was a red herring and VANCE was actually the Zodiac Killer all along?!

Vance did just say he's ready to be president. It'd be a safe assumption to believe he spiked Trump's cola and burger meal with extra stimulants and sedatives to bump him off.

He won’t last

Unfortunately I think it's entirely dependent on whether a Dem/Dems pick fights with him or not. I have absolutely no confidence our press won't continue to be deferential lickspittles sans manufactured drama. I also unfortunately don't think dems have an appetite for it given (gestures wildly)

Nobody has the sauce. They stupidly put all their eggs in the Trump basket. They could have had DeSantis, who was just Trump but without the impeachments and felonies, but nope. Let them flail.

"No, MAGA dies with Trump. What follows now are just the last steps of a man who does not yet realize that he's walking dead."

JD Vance as President will make Gerald Ford look like Jesus Christ.

Wasn't alive for the Ford years, how uncharismatic was he?

I believe it would be fair to say he was as charismatic as a wet gym sock.

Gerald Ford was so uncharismatic that Chevy Chase imitated him on Saturday Night Live by not even making any effort to imitate him and people thought it was excellent.

The most work Chevy put into that role was ~NOT~ injuring himself when he did the stumbles.

So "brown paper bag with white bread turkey sandwich" levels then, wow.

www.patreon.com/posts/137302...

Y'all remember "covfefe" and we all thought the dipshit had finally popped a blood vessel while tweeting on the shitter and it was like waiting up for the Great Pumpkin

lol

I was thinking that, and how funny would it be if Biden outlives him.

So many false starts over the past decade, so many times it seemed like it might happen, but didn't....the release of catharsis whenever it DOES happen will be terrifying and glorious.

Has there been any updates? Did the devil call him home yet?

What I remember especially (not even an American) Was when that orange stain of a human being had covid and had to be hospitalized and given (presumably) experimental/best care type stuff I will NEVER forgive this fucking virus That couldn't DO ITS FUCKING JOB THE 1 TIME IT NEEDED TO.

I was just thinking that same thing. This is that night all over again.

the weirdest thing was that he occasionally displayed mild clumsiness & slight cognitive hiccups. the public and the press were merciless towards him. so not very much like now.

Remember when the Simpsons weirdly glazed him in that episode about Homer fighting with his new neighbor, former president George Bush Senior?

JD Vance is the only way Peter Theil can become president.

It's going to be a civil war at the GOP trying to decide who takes over. Going to be even more fun with Elon having his head up his own "AI"'s ass.

Some high percentage of maga will buy into the 'it wasn't a heart attack; he was assassinated!' That'll be fun.

Vance does not have the cult that Trump does. People won't blindly follow him as easily. The one thing Trump can do is schmooze a crowd and Vance don't got it. People won't be ready to kill for him as cult leader and that means Republicans at least have an opportunity to grow back their spines.

i have a specific set of predictions as to how this will go

Ford was bland and not brilliant, but actually a decent guy.....except when he pardoned Nixon

Someone will tell him the Futurama joke where Ford says voting isn't all that essential to the process, he'll start repeating it, but completely miss why that joke only works with Ford, and instead alienate everyone even further.

Under technofascist rule, you don’t need charisma. I suggest keeping all eyes on Thiel. The celebration isn’t going to be what you think it is.

I almost, *almost* think that President Vance might be a sign of good things to come as no one, not even the slimiest MAGA toady, is going to want to be seen showing him any kind of respect

It's totally gonna be Rats In A Bag time.

A large portion of Trump’s base votes for Trump, not the Republican Party. When he dies, some of them will stop voting and Vance does not have the sway over the cult that Trump has. Trump dies, a massive power vacuum opens up with no designated heir.

Assuming the conspiracy-minded cult-like fanaticism of the president's remaining followers doesn't eviscerate him like a school of piranhas

Wouldn't even be the first time they turned on a VP at the drop of a hat.

Also, lol: we're DDOSing his crappy twitter clone.

Does that app still overheat and crack your phone?

No idea, never used it, never heard tell of that

Yeah I’ve been saying this for a bit Trump has the cult under his thumb. Once he’s gone that stops. No one is gonna go up to Vance and let them touch a football trophy they think he’s a moron

They KNOW he's a moron. Trump is too, obviously, but somehow has idiots thinking otherwise.

They won't need charisma when they have control. So, we're on a tight schedule here.

DC should organize an open parade along the route used for his pathetic Army one. The contrast in attendance numbers and level of festivity would go down in history.

Can you imagine how much bigger the crowd size will be compared to his crappy birthday military parade?

Oh, I look forward to New York City having to clean themselves up after the absolute banger of a party they're gonna throw.

I never intend to visit the US again, but the only thing that could tempt me back is if someday they set up a urinal on his grave.

Why does there need to be a urinal?

A huge line of people will go see his embalmed corpse just to spit on the glass

Remember the night of covfefe and we all thought he was dead? Good times.

Sounds like they're having to cover for a serious medical intervention at the least. No surprise that the McDonald's loving 80 year old pushing 300lbs might run into serious health issues at anytime. Such BS the media gave Trump a total pass on his age & health especially after Biden dropped out.

Unfortunately, he was seen this morning heading out to waste more of our money cheating, in other words, golfing.

There was also his obsession with going to heaven that he voiced last week in an interview. www.nytimes.com/2025/08/19/u... And Vance's interview yesterday where he was trying to reassure himself that he's up to the task of taking over if the need arises. www.thedailybeast.com/jd-vance-say...

The fact that it wasn't several weeks ago is a testament to the quality of medical pros he's got access to tbh. Ticker's not doing good.

I have been constantly amazed at his and RFKs continued existence - the stuff they have done would have killed any normal mortal long ago.

I already bought mine; it's just resting waiting for the perfect minute of the perfect day! Hopefully, really soon!