rolling a 1 on the aura skillcheck

This is why I quit my job when ever I am promoted . They are itching to sue me & they know that they can not set me up to fail as hard if I am a new hire .

He cant be serious.

I DMd him asking for 100 dollars and he sent me a picture of his anus

I wonder what kind of jobs a billionaire gives out when it's just because he likes the cut of your jib

Professional jib cutter?

bro talking like the villain in a kung fu movie

Glad you knew that this didn’t require any further words to be comedy on par with your usual posts.

He’s crashing out and talking like a businessman from one of those cheesy 90s movies about a down-on-his-luck guy who’s getting a second chance Do all billionaires act like this? Are they like children, re-enacting scenes from movies they saw cause they think that’s what real life is like?

If I ever became a billioniare, or even a multi-millionaire where I'm just set for life, I'm just gonna do everyone a favor and fuck off instead of searching for validation and worship from strangers.

IF THIS PERSON EVER BECOMES A BILLIONAIRE WHILE I'M PRESIDENT I PROMISE TO EAT HIM ON LIVE TV

Thank god

it's my campaign promise!

The goated Tom from Myspace. Got his paycheck and went surfing.

Wow 😭😭😭

What a bellend

Ghoulish writing quirk

I’ve told that mf to go fuck himself to his face and he never gave me money wtf

"you stood up to me, want a position where you cant risk standing up to me or you lose your livelihood?"

It's like that Black Mirror episode with the merits and the game show...

Fires you immediately

Please tell me the person he said this to told him to go fuck himself.

This is how everyone over 50 thinks getting a job works.

"I like your persistence." www.youtube.com/watch?v=nWap...

My parents have tons of "Boomer" money but god forbid they help out their only child, in an emergency. Totally them.

one of the most embarrassing posts ive ever seen

Is it real?? 😅😅 *uncomfy level: 9000*

Join me, with your brains, talent, and good looks and my... illiquid funny money, wed be UNSTOPPABLE

Is he talking to Martha? Fuck that fucker, Martha!

Hallmark movie but the story is delivered through screenshots and posted videos

Another Nepo hire by the billionaire class

people need to learn to detect jokes or at least read alt text

Damn, this is less fun than wondering what he could possibly be replying to.

"You're going to like my style even more after this..." *Gives this man the worst swirlie he's ever experienced*

"Science isn't about why! It's about WHY NOT! Bean counters said I couldn't fire an employee just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive! It's you and me against the world, son, and I like your grit! Hustle could use some work, though. Now let's solve this thing!"

What gives this away as fake is the implication that a billionaire would ever be willing to hire someone.

bros life is a movie

People tell that dumb loser off every day. What was different about this one that he offered them a job?

Ah, so there is a use for alt text after all.

I told you to fuck off too, Marc. Give me a million dollars

I choose to believe that this was in response to that old lady who absolutely bodied him.

I stand up to that gasbag all the time, still no job offers.

What a loser.

It's fake

Doesnt stop him from being a fucking loser

Eh, true

What do we say for this now, they called it "truthiness" like 10 years ago

Bro if I ever start posting like this, just put me down.

Look, if I can get paid by Mark Cuban to tell Mark Cuban that Mark Cuban is a dumbass I would look into a job with Mark Cuban. And then be fired 5 minutes later because this is not, actually, what Mark Cuban wants.

"You can go to your office and clean out your desk cause you're movin up to the top floor, you're my new vice president!"

Yes! “The guts of a man who’s fired!” jumped straight to mind!

EYY YOU GOT SPUNK KID YOU GOT SOME MOXIE EYY *gestures with stogie* HOWS ABOUTS YOUSE COME AND WOIK FA ME, HUH?

least serial killer vibes billionaire

Yeah sign me up for a job working for the guy who doesnt want to do good things without financial compensation