This, all day long. I have learned to clarify when people ask for feedback/what I think. "What are you looking for? Do you want to be assured you did well, or do you want opportunities to improve?" Saves me so much trouble.
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At the same time, it doesn't matter how clearly I ask for feedback or give examples of how I like to receive it. People will not share anything other than "It's great!" (Or, "it's terrible" if they don't like me). Never something I can actually put into action to improve.
aug 27, 2025, 12:57 pm • 9 0 • view
the worst is when i ask for advice on something specific that i KNOW i did wrong only to be told "looks great nothing wrong with it" and "omg why are you putting yourself down its awesome" and, sometimes, feedback totally unrelated to what im trying to fix!
aug 27, 2025, 1:33 pm • 7 0 • view
I think because NT usually just want validation rather than constructive feedback, they tend to assume everyone else wants the same even if they don't. And ND are assuming other people will appreciate genuine feedback when all they really want is a pat on the back.🤦♀️
aug 28, 2025, 5:08 am • 2 0 • view
That could be more than one thing going on there. If people know you're neurodivergent, and they don't know how to talk to you properly, they will default to the mindset that says, "I can't ever criticize this person because they have a disability". A lot of people see it as a learning disability.
aug 28, 2025, 5:05 am • 0 0 • view
That's definitely not it. I stick to primarily neurodivergent spaces and even that aside I'm not shouting in .just servers about it. It's more likely that people have just started seeing criticism as mean because si much online criticism is just bullying.
aug 28, 2025, 2:12 pm • 0 0 • view
That's a good point. "Criticism" has a negative connotation in the US, specifically because it's usually framed as, "This is what you did wrong." and people don't always want to hear it that way without some cushioning.
aug 28, 2025, 2:33 pm • 0 0 • view
thats not what im talking about. im talking about the fact that a lot of ppl online have straightup bullied younger artists claiming "its just criticism", when theyd actually just insulted them and, well, again, bullied them.
aug 28, 2025, 3:40 pm • 1 0 • view
and sometimes they did have legitimate tips, but that doesn't matter if you drive a massive fanbase to go harass them. so because so many people throw shit around destructively as opposed to being constructive, its taken on that stigma.
aug 28, 2025, 3:40 pm • 1 0 • view
think is "honest".
aug 28, 2025, 7:22 pm • 0 0 • view
man thats not just a nd problem. i immediately dont trust people that say "i say it how it is" or "im a very honest person deal with it" or w/e. though sometimes we truly dont realise when weve said something hurtful. i cant tell when im being rude. i just do my best and let people know in advance
aug 28, 2025, 7:40 pm • 1 0 • view
Neurodiverse people seem to have a much more difficult problem with it than others.
aug 28, 2025, 8:36 pm • 0 0 • view
You're right. They honestly, in a number of cases, don't think they're bullying anyone. To me, it's the almost the same when a neurodivergent person claims they're not being rude or mean or hurtful when they don't or refuse to phrase things, when they already know how, when they say what they just
aug 28, 2025, 7:22 pm • 0 0 • view
Right? You can repeat yourself til you're blue in the face or explain it a million different ways...I think they just don't care.
aug 28, 2025, 5:09 am • 0 0 • view
This is because most people don't think in literal terms most of the time. Unless they specify, they don't actually want to know the literal truth, especially in cases where they dread your answer, especially if you don't know how to frame crap as not crap politely.
aug 28, 2025, 5:03 am • 0 0 • view