Ah fuck my lawyer got drunk & kidnapped a woman & then her husband went to save her but he hit my lawyer’s car from behind when my lawyer slammed on the brakes to pull in to a gas station to buy boner pills 🇺🇸🗽
Replies
Many such cases
aug 31, 2025, 9:36 pm • 3 0 • view
That tracks.
aug 31, 2025, 9:52 pm • 0 0 • view
What??
sep 1, 2025, 3:05 am • 0 0 • view
whom amongst us…
aug 31, 2025, 11:06 pm • 1 0 • view
Your lawyer sounds like the sort of person we want on The Supreme Court
aug 31, 2025, 9:36 pm • 2 0 • view
For the win! 🏆
aug 31, 2025, 10:11 pm • 0 0 • view
This sounds more likely than his spin.
aug 31, 2025, 10:44 pm • 2 1 • view
aug 31, 2025, 10:34 pm • 1 0 • view
from the “head of security”
aug 31, 2025, 11:23 pm • 0 0 • view
oh shit, I bet you really needed those
aug 31, 2025, 9:29 pm • 4 0 • view
👍🤣🤣🤣 sounds about right!
aug 31, 2025, 10:58 pm • 0 0 • view
…
sep 1, 2025, 1:13 am • 2 0 • view
Oh no. Is this a Rudy story
aug 31, 2025, 10:58 pm • 2 0 • view
thanks, I haven't been keeping up with Better Call Saul
aug 31, 2025, 9:58 pm • 3 1 • view
😂
aug 31, 2025, 11:30 pm • 0 0 • view
Boner pills from a gas station? This is interesting. And extra.
aug 31, 2025, 11:14 pm • 0 0 • view
...allegedly...
aug 31, 2025, 9:41 pm • 2 0 • view
Glad somebody here's paying attention. Saved me saying allegedly.
aug 31, 2025, 9:49 pm • 2 0 • view
It's a really thin reality/parody line now and I really need an update.
aug 31, 2025, 11:38 pm • 0 0 • view
Not again.
aug 31, 2025, 10:29 pm • 0 0 • view
Can I get your lawyer's number?
sep 1, 2025, 1:08 am • 0 0 • view
If i had a nickel for every time
aug 31, 2025, 9:37 pm • 10 1 • view
Nailed it.
aug 31, 2025, 9:56 pm • 1 0 • view
You know, I said to myself when I heard the news, I bet Rob's got a hand in this. Classic, really.
aug 31, 2025, 9:54 pm • 2 0 • view
Who are you? H.S. Thompson reincarnated?
aug 31, 2025, 10:06 pm • 0 0 • view
Hilarious
aug 31, 2025, 10:19 pm • 0 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 9:29 pm • 10 0 • view
😂😂
aug 31, 2025, 10:37 pm • 1 0 • view
Anyway my lawyer’s in the hospital now & i have to go to New Hampshire to plant drugs on the husband. What a mess🍸
aug 31, 2025, 9:30 pm • 345 5 • view
He’s not just your lawyer he is america’s lawyer
aug 31, 2025, 9:32 pm • 3 0 • view
I wish him a speedy recovery...oof.
aug 31, 2025, 9:31 pm • 0 0 • view
Ok number one: the boner pills weren’t “for me” as some of you zipperheads have suggested and joke’s on you because the president had preemptively pardoned my lawyer so i can turn around and go back to OTB
aug 31, 2025, 9:33 pm • 287 7 • view
I never thought the boner pills were for you. They don’t make them strong enough to effect you.
aug 31, 2025, 9:38 pm • 0 0 • view
Zipperhead is an odd word, wonder what it means … 🤔
aug 31, 2025, 10:12 pm • 0 0 • view
Not great!
sep 1, 2025, 1:39 am • 1 0 • view
“has” pardoned not “had” pardoned siri why can’t i edit these don’t say the N word
aug 31, 2025, 9:36 pm • 189 2 • view
Hey man youtu.be/uEK9oK02D1M?...
aug 31, 2025, 9:38 pm • 1 0 • view
I tried to hire a defense lawyer to defend a family member (too expensive) but we spent a lot of time during the time I was trying to find out if I could hire him talking about the defense lawyer’s upcoming criminal trial. And what he’d done was NUTS. So I believe every word of this story.
aug 31, 2025, 10:16 pm • 1 0 • view
The line between Rudy Giuliani and Frank Reynolds is incredibly thin.
aug 31, 2025, 9:41 pm • 55 2 • view
aug 31, 2025, 10:37 pm • 27 0 • view
10/10. Succinct and accurate.
sep 1, 2025, 1:05 am • 0 0 • view
If I had a nickel.......
aug 31, 2025, 11:14 pm • 0 0 • view
Are you betting thoroughbreds, trotters or Polish dog racing. Rudy loved getting hammered at Meadlowlands trotter races. Be a nice tribute.
aug 31, 2025, 9:38 pm • 3 0 • view
I think you might be my dad
sep 1, 2025, 3:15 pm • 1 0 • view
sep 1, 2025, 12:23 am • 0 0 • view
you forgot to say “number two”
sep 1, 2025, 3:54 am • 0 0 • view
Sir, I genuinely hope they award you that Emmy
aug 31, 2025, 9:54 pm • 1 0 • view
bsky.app/profile/john...
sep 1, 2025, 1:33 am • 6 0 • view
Where was the Mayhem dude while all this was going on?
sep 1, 2025, 12:23 am • 0 0 • view
Unbelievable. He does 9/11 and then goes and does this too.
aug 31, 2025, 9:31 pm • 6 1 • view
Please do yourself a favor and check out this thread by Dan O'Sullivan @osullyville.bsky.social on Rudy's security dude, Joe Pesci-wannabe Michael Ragusa, who wrote the Press Release. I have tears streaming down my face right now.
aug 31, 2025, 10:35 pm • 9 0 • view
Don't miss out on his post about attending a gala with his mother in all of his 5"6 bravado. It's a gem!
aug 31, 2025, 11:01 pm • 7 0 • view
😆
sep 1, 2025, 1:00 am • 0 0 • view
You got this, Ron! We stand behind you 110%!
aug 31, 2025, 11:42 pm • 2 0 • view
From your lips to God's tuchus.
aug 31, 2025, 10:18 pm • 0 0 • view
Sounds like the husband was at fault for the rear-ending. Stay strong--if your lawyer is any good at his job, he may find a way out of this!
aug 31, 2025, 9:39 pm • 8 0 • view
youtu.be/3ncYE1fvhtc?...
aug 31, 2025, 10:00 pm • 1 0 • view
sep 1, 2025, 1:05 am • 3 1 • view
Sounds more like it. Can't believe this isn't a Florida Man story. 😂
aug 31, 2025, 11:40 pm • 0 0 • view
But it IS. He has a place in Florida. He's the worst combo of NY & FL. The crazy of FL Man, the gall of a former NYC politician...with added Trump/Epstein associations. Wow, Giuliani is truly the worst.
sep 1, 2025, 12:22 am • 1 0 • view
Haha! "Show me any wack-ass news story from anywhere and I'll show you how it's actually a Florida Man story" would be a great podcast. 🤣 Oh we're just playing, Florida, we love you. 🐊
sep 1, 2025, 12:47 am • 1 0 • view
💡👏😂
sep 1, 2025, 12:56 am • 0 0 • view
youtu.be/FafVtHWn4X8?...
aug 31, 2025, 10:08 pm • 4 1 • view
Trump will post GET WELL SOON RUDY while still owing him millions in legal bills he will never, ever, pay him. Lol.
sep 1, 2025, 1:02 am • 3 0 • view
Ain’t it always that way?
aug 31, 2025, 9:34 pm • 1 0 • view
I can’t be involved in this.
aug 31, 2025, 10:31 pm • 5 0 • view
Rough morning.
aug 31, 2025, 10:51 pm • 1 0 • view
The News Uncensored
aug 31, 2025, 9:53 pm • 0 0 • view
This happened to you too? Jeez, that's 4 this week alone.
aug 31, 2025, 9:56 pm • 0 0 • view
Your post wins the internet today... and maybe all week!
aug 31, 2025, 9:45 pm • 2 0 • view
Perfect time to follow Rob Delaney
aug 31, 2025, 9:53 pm • 3 0 • view
Giuliani was fleeing an irate unpaid hooker. Ended up at Four Seasons Total Hospitalizing.
aug 31, 2025, 10:29 pm • 19 1 • view
🤣
sep 1, 2025, 7:40 am • 0 0 • view
🤣🤣🤣
sep 1, 2025, 7:39 am • 0 0 • view
aug 31, 2025, 11:03 pm • 4 0 • view
Oh man I missed seeing you on Twitter.
sep 1, 2025, 3:10 am • 1 0 • view
Who among us
sep 1, 2025, 12:57 am • 1 0 • view
oh no
aug 31, 2025, 9:44 pm • 1 0 • view
Yup.
sep 1, 2025, 12:48 am • 0 0 • view
Perfect, no notes
aug 31, 2025, 9:36 pm • 0 0 • view
I don’t typically leave “online” ratings but 2/5 stars will not purchase gas station boner medication again 👎
aug 31, 2025, 9:52 pm • 2 0 • view
Sounds like your lawyer needs a lawyer!!
aug 31, 2025, 10:46 pm • 1 0 • view
Nice story, Bro. You SHOULD pitch that as a Lifetime movie.
sep 1, 2025, 12:06 am • 0 0 • view
It could happen to anyone, bruh 🤣
aug 31, 2025, 9:45 pm • 0 0 • view
When does the movie come out…?
aug 31, 2025, 11:02 pm • 0 0 • view
Tale as old as time
aug 31, 2025, 10:18 pm • 0 0 • view
It seems that the story is even better. Apparently, according to the police report, your lawyer's car was hit by an SUV driven by a 19 y.o. girl!
sep 1, 2025, 12:59 pm • 0 0 • view
😂😂😂 #Rudy
aug 31, 2025, 9:56 pm • 1 0 • view