I'm still interested in competent craft; I want to do things well. I'm just not bothered about the cultural trappings or perceived cachet of Being and Artist or Being a Writer. Almost nobody irl knows I have an interest in drawing or writing fiction and that's fine
Aha! Welcome to art!
You're interested in craft as part of supporting your real vocation: Thom.
exactly. Because at some point early in my development i shunted some core part of myself onto him, I need to keep working on him in order to keep moving towards actualising as a more complete person
The more I unpack Thom's damage the more I understand my own, even though it's not the same damage. It's a transposition or a transduction or something. As I write him he writes me back. It has always been this way. It's less about art than an ongoing process of mutual transformation
In my old age I find that doing art for yourself is the most rewarding experience and a priority for being an artist. People will appreciate what you do more when you are honest with yourself