I’d imagine that if I could converse with animals the conversations would mainly consist of them telling me repeatedly what total cunts humans are as a species, which would be somewhat depressing.

its definitely a risk

My soul wants to choose animals but I have to choose all languages

why have to

Because it would be better for me to be sociable with people instead of animals.

Also if you can talk to animals, it’s only a matter of time before a dog does the Joe Pesci goodfella’s monologue

i wouldn’t mind it

would it tho

Unfortunately, yes

All langugaes includes all animals' languages

Languages. What if animals turned out to be utter arseholes? That’d be soul destroying. I’d rather remain blissfully ignorant.

A stoat with legitimate concerns

imagine if marsupials ended up cancelled bc of this

All cockheads youtube.com/shorts/NXXVn...

This. Absolutely no argument here! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Nope. No chance. I simply won't hear of it. A curse be upon you!

I hadn't considered that possibility at all. 😳

No thanks

thats also an option

Languages. I bet animals only say “I’m hungry” and “I’m tired”

Animals 100% every time

I don't like what most people say when I can understand it. Animals, please.

yes

What I worry about here is that I think most animals would spend a lot of time saying “hey. I’m hungry. Hey. Hey. Food. Outside? Hey.”

could get monotonous

Or it could be a brilliantly formulated and somewhat satirical deconstruction of the writings of Malcolm Gladwell. We don't know. Though that could get monotonous too.

I wouldn't want anything that made it easier to speak to more people.

relatable

I would say animals but I'm scared what they might tell me

the spiders are looking up your shorts

Incy wincy buggers

Animals. I live in the cultural hinterland of the countryside, so encounter many more animals than non-English speakers

Languages but only just

Animals

Languages because I already have a good rapport with animals and you kind of just figure them out after a while.

All languages so I could humiliate all my worst clients in their native languages 🙏

Languages by a short head. I imagine a lot of animal talk is: Have you got any food? & Get lost! I was here first. Tho' when there has been a kerfuffle in the garden, the chickens can be very expressive about it.

All languages :3

Animals because then I could ask a Spanish cat what its owner was saying

smart

You know it

Animals. 100%.

Animals. I'd love to be able to explain to my cats why they need medication and have them tell me what they need. Also, one of mine is on his way out and I wish he could tell me when he's ready, vs me trying to figure it out on his behalf. I've been trying to teach them buttons but it's very slow.

❤️

That's a genuinely tricky question. I'd probably say animals.

2 days in to talking to animals. "I'm hungry" "I'm tired" "I'm gonna have sex with your hoodie" "I'm hungry again"

at least you could preemptively move the hoodie

It's his only outlet 😑

unfortunate use of “outlet”

That's a good point tbh. Also not sure how it would work with fish, cephalopods or molluscs.

"Where is that spider? There was a spider behind this sink! I'm gonna look for the spider!" THAT SPIDER WAS 2 FUCKING YEARS AGO!!!

Gotta be animals.

Languages. Imagine walking through a town and hearing every pigeon, fly, wasp, dog, etc talking.

that sound nightmarish

*All* languages will include animal languages too so why restrict yourself to just animals? I’m going with all.

The loophole is also that all animals includes all *human* animals and therefore also includes speaking all human languages too, so I chose that one.

found the loophole

That’s why they pay me the medium-sized bucks.

😅

Just let me talk to my dog and cat without looking insane and I'll be very happy

thats sweet

no

mmmkay

Which one gets me a sandwich

human language probably, unless you know the woodland creatures from disney’s cinderella

All languages. I could connect better with more people and I really dont think that animals have a lot to say.

Animal chat all the way. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? Hey kitty kitty what’s *really* going on in that head of yours? 😁 And I can live without most human interactions so being able to talk to ‘anyone’ would be a waste.

You can get translations for all human languages but no one can speak to animals so animals just for the novelty of it.

I'd confer with our furry friends and animals Think of the amazing repartee! If I could walk with the animals, talk with the animals Grunt and squeak and squawk with the animals And they could talk to me

id def go animals too, ppl scare me

All languages bc animals speak in language too.