The ONLY reason people hate on cargo shorts is they are jealous of the unprecedented storage efficiency. Shorts you can store a whole meal in. Impossible to argue against in good faith
Replies
It's not about the storage capability. It's about what you look like when the storage is full. Like a chipmunk trying to look nonchalant.
aug 27, 2025, 12:39 am • 1 0 • view
Well while I love me some cargo shorts, I'm not storing food in the cargo pocket on my boxer briefs. That would just be disgusting.
aug 27, 2025, 5:12 am • 0 0 • view
Went to the movies with my brother and he snuck a whole bag of In-N-Out in his cargo shorts pocket
aug 26, 2025, 11:27 pm • 3 0 • view
True if you wanna wear a utility clothing instead of fashion.
aug 26, 2025, 10:26 pm • 0 0 • view
Lunch not withstanding, they’re still ugly though😆
aug 26, 2025, 8:36 pm • 0 0 • view
No, there's also the hate that y'all keep stealing all the pockets from women's pants to slap onto your shorts
aug 27, 2025, 12:48 pm • 1 0 • view
Right?!
aug 26, 2025, 9:40 pm • 0 0 • view
“… store a whole meal in.” Is that what they mean by a “lunchbox”?
aug 26, 2025, 9:25 pm • 0 0 • view
Yep. My brother went to Italy with his cargo pants and someone reached into one of those huge pockets and took his wallet.
aug 27, 2025, 12:10 am • 0 0 • view
They'll slip a wallet out of the tightest pair of skinny jeans. But yeah, don't put your wallet in an easily accessible pocket whilst travelling in Europe. They got centuries of experience in pick-pocketing.
aug 27, 2025, 1:21 am • 1 0 • view
aug 26, 2025, 8:23 pm • 0 0 • view
Hammer Pants… you could fit a Thanksgiving Feast in those bad boys and look… cool?… doing it.
aug 26, 2025, 9:04 pm • 0 0 • view
The ONLY reason
aug 26, 2025, 9:37 pm • 1 0 • view
pair them with this bad boy and you will be the cock of the walk
aug 26, 2025, 8:06 pm • 22 0 • view
Throw in a fanny pack and nothing can stop you
aug 27, 2025, 4:31 am • 0 0 • view
aug 26, 2025, 8:23 pm • 9 0 • view
aug 26, 2025, 8:42 pm • 5 0 • view
Not so 😎
aug 27, 2025, 5:51 am • 1 0 • view
The Dude abides and knows people that know this.
aug 26, 2025, 8:41 pm • 1 0 • view
I concur. I love cargos!
aug 27, 2025, 5:09 am • 0 0 • view
Where else do we men store our important stuff? I use my pockets for: Hot Wheels Random Lego pieces Rubber bands & Snacks
aug 26, 2025, 10:19 pm • 0 0 • view
Supple handed purple hair troglodytes be begging for cargo shorts after apocalypse.
aug 27, 2025, 1:00 am • 0 0 • view
I hate on cargo shorts bc men wear them too long. I have seen them anywhere from 2 inches above the ankle (they are not clam diggers) to 4 inches above the knee. There needs to be more standardization.
aug 26, 2025, 8:37 pm • 1 0 • view
We can’t help how long they are. We just grab and go. I hate buying cargo shorts that end up touching my knees. They might as well be knickers at that point.😄
aug 27, 2025, 1:37 am • 0 0 • view
So what is “your” length? Above the knee, below the knee so they sit on the calf or clam digging length which is above the ankle and very wide so grown men look like they have little boy legs🤣🤣
aug 27, 2025, 2:26 am • 0 0 • view
Ideally, I like my shorts 3 inches above the knees. I can live with 1 inch above the knees… but if I’m sitting down and my shorts are touch my knees😵💫
aug 27, 2025, 2:30 am • 1 0 • view
Are you on the short side? (Asking bc I’m 5’ and any extra fabric on arms & legs weighs me down especially if the cut is boxy. Brands like Old Navy never really looked right on me if they were boxy, oversized, or not for the petite)🤣🤣
aug 27, 2025, 2:34 am • 0 0 • view
No, I’m tall and I’d prefer a shorter inseam but my wife told me that I was too old to wear short shorts🫣
aug 27, 2025, 3:58 am • 1 0 • view
When you have the right cut of the leg. Not too wide/baggy & not too straight or tubular for the legs (no bike short tightness) so that you can sit comfortably should be good.👏👏👏
aug 27, 2025, 4:57 am • 0 0 • view
In my younger days it was Navy Chubbies. You have to be really fit to pull em off. I keep telling my wife that Im going to bring back Chubbies and cut off shirts. I get the 👀… 🤭…🤣
aug 27, 2025, 5:16 am • 1 0 • view
Chubbies?? Is that sweat pants that are cut into shorts?
aug 27, 2025, 5:47 am • 0 0 • view
aug 27, 2025, 6:08 am • 0 0 • view
Cut offs will never go out of style as long as there is beach culture or backyard activities. Chubbies??? Never heard of them. A friend used to wear electric blue spandex pants to work, but they were too revealing so he had to change once he locked his bike🤣🤣🤣
aug 27, 2025, 5:45 am • 0 0 • view
I’m all fine but please - for the love of everything that’s sacred - use a damn belt! And not just as a cute accessory!
aug 26, 2025, 9:31 pm • 1 0 • view
Orrrrrr.. jealous of the dangerously handsome legs
aug 27, 2025, 5:50 am • 0 0 • view
Just admit that they are "purse pants" and we can move on.
aug 27, 2025, 10:30 am • 1 0 • view
Reading this in my lovely new replacement Musto shorts I've worn out one pair in 12 years! Three pockets each side of which four are zipped, two in the back, inner tiny compartments and a Kevlar arse patch. 😳🥰 Hard to beat. 😉
aug 26, 2025, 9:47 pm • 0 0 • view
True that!
aug 27, 2025, 12:10 am • 0 0 • view
You never know when a sub sandwich might come in handy.
aug 26, 2025, 9:58 pm • 4 0 • view
I have to buy men's cargo shorts because they are well designed and sturdy. The fake women's ones are just made to be "cute," not functional.
aug 27, 2025, 2:47 am • 1 0 • view
I like functional clothes too .
aug 26, 2025, 11:16 pm • 0 0 • view
Girls always bitching about pockets want cargo shorts.
aug 26, 2025, 9:09 pm • 4 0 • view
It’s been my experience that they stop bitching about my cargo shorts the moment I extract my Amex Centurion card to pay for our lunch/coffee/dinner. I think women are trained from early on to recognize high end credit cards etc etc. hehe 😉
aug 26, 2025, 10:55 pm • 2 0 • view
It's true and you should say it. Watch a whole damn concert with two merch shirts and a spare beer tucked away.
aug 26, 2025, 7:55 pm • 15 0 • view
You gonna eat your Tots?
aug 26, 2025, 10:10 pm • 6 0 • view
I love my cargo shorts. So handy. I have even switched from jeans to cargo pants. I like being able to hold a lot of things without a bag or using my hands.
aug 26, 2025, 10:10 pm • 0 0 • view
Essential clothing for sneaking outside snacks into a movie theater.
aug 27, 2025, 9:01 am • 1 0 • view
I’m not crazy for the shorts but I love cargo pants cuz they are cute!
aug 26, 2025, 9:27 pm • 3 0 • view
FACTS!!! Cargo pants are a fashion essential. The shorts I could care less about
aug 26, 2025, 10:11 pm • 3 0 • view
Hopefully they stopped making zipoffs for adults, because I will say those were not good
aug 27, 2025, 4:46 am • 1 0 • view
Just make sure that belt is nice and tight. I've heard public venues frown upon unscheduled indecent exposure.
aug 27, 2025, 12:22 pm • 1 0 • view
There are no bad cargo shorts only bad cargo shirts
aug 27, 2025, 10:49 am • 0 0 • view
Snack holes
aug 26, 2025, 9:42 pm • 3 0 • view
It's hot and I have cargo.
aug 26, 2025, 10:08 pm • 0 0 • view
One day humans may evolve smaller babies which will fit in the bigger pocket of cargo shorts. Like kangaroos.
aug 26, 2025, 8:52 pm • 16 0 • view
I once managed to fit several whole oranges into each cargo pocket, though I remember this largely because of how embarrassing it became to walk
aug 27, 2025, 5:00 am • 0 0 • view
Lucky you women are lucky if they get pockets
aug 26, 2025, 8:28 pm • 0 0 • view
I already have cargo thighs. Storing meals in my pants is how I got them.
aug 26, 2025, 10:50 pm • 3 0 • view
That and backwards baseball caps...I just can't 😁
aug 27, 2025, 1:19 am • 0 0 • view
I don't really want a meal walking around with me in my pants. Bad enough I gotta stick a pen in that pocket or whatever we call it.
aug 26, 2025, 11:49 pm • 0 0 • view
If you button the pockets, which my husband doesn’t do, so when he’s missing his phone or keys or money, it’s fallen out of the cargo shorts into the bucket seat.
aug 26, 2025, 10:06 pm • 0 0 • view
There’s a reason they’re called cargo….
aug 27, 2025, 1:17 pm • 0 0 • view
If you hate on cargo shorts, you really need more obnoxious people in your life.
aug 26, 2025, 9:12 pm • 1 0 • view
Amen.
aug 26, 2025, 10:04 pm • 0 0 • view
Tots!
aug 27, 2025, 11:43 am • 0 0 • view
Back in the 90's you could fit a FUCKING CD CASE in those things! They fit perfectly in the lower pocket! I still use Cargo Shorts to this day.
aug 26, 2025, 10:56 pm • 5 1 • view
I pretty much live in cargo/combat shorts. Comfortable, airy, loads of pockets for all my stuff I still dress like a 15 year old metaller, just 30 years late to the gig 😆
aug 26, 2025, 8:56 pm • 9 0 • view
This is the true path. Bravo.
aug 26, 2025, 9:30 pm • 3 0 • view
It's more about grown men with ugly legs dressing like little boys.
aug 27, 2025, 12:56 am • 0 0 • view
When you have two children like these, ya quickly learn cargo shorts are required. Poopy bags, treats, doggy first aid kit, phone, keys, ear buds, preferred mix of legalized herbs, condoms, wallet etc etc. They all take up space n stuff. 🤪🤪🤪🐶🐶
aug 26, 2025, 10:49 pm • 2 0 • view
I do hope all those items weren't related to your first paragraph!
aug 26, 2025, 11:00 pm • 3 0 • view
I shall not be illuminating further. They may or may not be related. Not tellin 🤪😂😂
aug 26, 2025, 11:36 pm • 1 0 • view
@christofurreal.bsky.social this is you and your cargo shorts! Also, the handle on this account is cool.
aug 27, 2025, 12:49 am • 1 0 • view
PURSE PANTS!! 🩳
aug 26, 2025, 7:55 pm • 29 0 • view
Came here to say this.
aug 27, 2025, 12:13 am • 4 0 • view
Yeah!!!
aug 27, 2025, 2:56 am • 0 0 • view
Can we make them out of sluttier and stupider materials. I would like velvet pants that are a backpack I wear on my legs
aug 26, 2025, 8:22 pm • 13 0 • view
Are those materials durable enough? This sounds awesome but the amount of weight you can end up putting into cargo shorts could be a problem!
aug 26, 2025, 10:58 pm • 3 0 • view
Layers of material :)
aug 27, 2025, 12:09 am • 3 0 • view
Use Mohair velvet cloth. Strong, durable. Often used for upholstery. Works for pants too.
aug 27, 2025, 5:30 am • 3 0 • view
I tell my wife that with many pockets comes great responsibility
aug 26, 2025, 10:14 pm • 4 0 • view
Hopefully you carry her stuff too. From what I hear, lady pants don’t have many pockets
aug 27, 2025, 4:43 am • 0 0 • view
Look, when I had babies and toddlers, cargo shorts were indispensable. I could carry several diapers, wipes, a changing mat, disposal bags paper towels and bottles. Those shorts were a hands-free diaper bag. Won't see me wearing them now though.
aug 27, 2025, 2:18 am • 1 0 • view
Good Dad 🥰
aug 27, 2025, 2:35 am • 0 0 • view
I agree - but a good belt is required if you are loading up. I won’t admit how I know this. But I will say it was very embarrassing.
aug 26, 2025, 8:39 pm • 9 0 • view
I love me a good cargo short!
aug 26, 2025, 9:41 pm • 2 0 • view
All true.
aug 26, 2025, 11:16 pm • 0 0 • view
It’s just pocket jealousy
aug 26, 2025, 11:53 pm • 1 0 • view
A pickpocket has only a one in six chance with cargos.
aug 26, 2025, 8:20 pm • 43 2 • view
cargo roulette
aug 26, 2025, 9:52 pm • 14 0 • view
You have to be careful about it, that middle front pocket is always loaded.
aug 26, 2025, 10:23 pm • 5 0 • view
Promises, promises
aug 27, 2025, 7:33 am • 3 0 • view
Touché. lol. 😄
aug 27, 2025, 3:45 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 26, 2025, 9:36 pm • 1 0 • view
aug 27, 2025, 6:25 am • 1 0 • view
YOU FOOL! I carry 10 EXTRA POTIONS! *Cargo Shorts dance*
aug 26, 2025, 8:49 pm • 4 1 • view
No. I’ve searched my heart, and that is not the only reason I hate them.
aug 26, 2025, 10:20 pm • 0 0 • view
In a lifelong struggle for maximum personal storage I've wrecked pants pockets, been prohibited from using pocket protectors, been shamed for the fanny pack and the man bag. Cargo shorts seems to have shut down the critics. Plus, I've run out of fucks.
aug 26, 2025, 9:31 pm • 3 0 • view
Gotta live your life man! Those naysayers are just jealous of our storage
aug 27, 2025, 4:45 am • 1 0 • view
and all your women's stuff!! win win to me.
aug 27, 2025, 3:39 pm • 1 0 • view
I have a pair of cargo shorts just for sporting events and movie theaters. Gotta be able to smuggle in my bag of spaghetti.
aug 27, 2025, 7:56 am • 0 0 • view
Bib overalls beat cargo shorts any day. As a mineral collector I can put 20 pounds of rocks in my pockets and not have my pants fall off. Cargo shorts are only good for a couple of pounds, especially on rough terrain.
aug 27, 2025, 5:25 am • 0 0 • view
Nothing better than some hot soup, or a nice beef stew in my cargo shorts.
aug 27, 2025, 2:05 am • 1 0 • view
Dope handle
aug 26, 2025, 11:58 pm • 0 0 • view
We live in 2 places Lemme just say this arrangement petty much allows me to wear cargo shorts all year around!😀
aug 26, 2025, 9:00 pm • 1 0 • view
Four or more beverages.
aug 26, 2025, 11:06 pm • 1 0 • view
Maybe even store a spare hoagie …. In case you need one
aug 26, 2025, 9:29 pm • 1 0 • view
You are in DC I presume?
aug 26, 2025, 9:32 pm • 2 0 • view
When I need to be I am there And quite often too There’s a few restaurants. I particularly relish eating at. And sometimes I even get work done
aug 26, 2025, 9:36 pm • 1 0 • view
Ahh, so no need to use them as weapons against the National Guard
aug 26, 2025, 9:41 pm • 0 0 • view
Well - I suppose that all depends
aug 26, 2025, 11:17 pm • 1 0 • view
a cool Llama, or a little pac-Donkey would be way cooler, ..and chicks would dig you. ..but go on, turn yourself into a beast of burden, they don't care.
aug 27, 2025, 12:10 am • 0 0 • view
Escargot shorts.
aug 26, 2025, 9:35 pm • 8 0 • view
I agree with you but the same argument could be made for fanny packs and that’s how slippery slopes work.
aug 26, 2025, 9:58 pm • 4 0 • view
I’ve seen some people pull off a fanny pack. They were attractive though, so that might have been it.
aug 27, 2025, 4:40 am • 2 0 • view
Had a friend who smuggled six beers into a show in cargo shorts, let's see skinny jeans pull that off.
aug 26, 2025, 8:34 pm • 4 0 • view
Wait... people hate on cargo shorts? That's all I wear all summer. For exactly the same reason cited in this post.
aug 26, 2025, 10:22 pm • 0 0 • view
I'm wearing them right now! Perfect for after work gardening or scrolling.
aug 26, 2025, 10:46 pm • 1 0 • view
Cargo shorts > Jorts This has been my Ted Talk.
aug 26, 2025, 8:04 pm • 8 0 • view
Eh?
aug 26, 2025, 9:15 pm • 0 0 • view
Oh hang on though you said = Carry on.
aug 26, 2025, 9:16 pm • 1 0 • view
True, but fully loaded, a person looks like a lumpy stuffed duffle bag cosplay of "Crocodile Hunter"...
aug 26, 2025, 8:35 pm • 2 0 • view
Love a closeted dad in cargo shorts, with an average hog, desperate to have a real man get him off.
aug 27, 2025, 4:54 am • 0 0 • view
With the trend of ever increasing phone sizes, I will either have to worry about the financial burden of a yearly reinforced custom stitched add-on to my largest jeans pocket OR I'd be allocating 12.5% of my left leg's storage space. Cargo pants will be the sign of utility again!
aug 27, 2025, 2:26 am • 1 0 • view
Can you store Arby’s in there?
aug 26, 2025, 8:50 pm • 0 0 • view
