Assuming ND are 'mean' or 'jerks' bc they thought someone wanted GENUINE FEEDBACK or failed to ASSUME that person just wanted a pat on the back or is bringing up a pervasive issue for ND is really ableist. ND have discussed repeatedly how to tackle this issue and better accommodate NT.
Your idea of "genuine feedback" is not how neurotypical people generally think of that phrase. That's a problem in itself. You, no matter if you don't like it, be specific, as I have said, to get the response you want, and hope that the person in question can give it to you.
You say these things as if two NT folks in the situation mentioned can easily assume what the other person wants or expects, and then deliver the unspoken expectations.