Blessed are the peacemakers. He's aiming to get to heaven, but is god that gullible ... ?

Donald and Melania , they’ll be like John and Yoko, but with slightly more gold bling.

3 of them were the cancelled Rian Johnson Star Wars sequel trilogy, so it’s not all bad

Nobody ever seems to point out that despite ‘stopping all of these wars’ he’s in very real danger of the being the US President who brought about the biggest war of them all. What a legacy that would be.

My cat was squabbling with a neighbouring cat the other day until I stepped in. Or as Trump might call it, I settled yet another war...

He can end wars just by thinking it. Amazing guy.

Don't forget that he personally bombed one of those 1775 airfields that led to victory in the American War of Independence. youtu.be/C-6OpkqNn4M

He'll be taking credit for the Treaty of Versailles

Any chance of reporters doing their jobs and asking him which wars he has stopped ??

It's just Fantasyland, we're all just part of his planet sized ego

Isn’t it time Trump’s carers retired him to a quiet care home where he can use a gold sharpie on his colouring book and leave the rest of the planet in peace? The man is barking mad and all the sycophantic courtiers lapping up his lies without challenge need to have a word with themselves.

I wonder when/how that will happen. It's so obvious that a tipping point has to come.

Indeed. None in the GOP have the cojones to push for Trump to be declared unfit. If JDV replaced him, the personal vendettas might cease, but the authoritarian & isolationist direction of travel seems very much to his taste. Add in a pathological hatred of Europe, the hostility won’t decrease.

I agree it won't get better. I assume interests are invested in maintaining an obvs unfit figure in place .. for now.

But that will change.

I mean, the Americans must have some self-respect? As the world ganzes at their senile leader.

"What did you do today at work Daddy?" "I stood behind President Trump grinning like a goon whilst he came out with some shit". "couldn't you get yourself a proper job Daddy, like picking up dogshit in the park?"

This frees up space to bring back Robot Wars

His lizard brain tells him: "senile braggig is statecraft!"

Just need Fluff Freeman to come in with the countdown. Alright pop pickers.

How can they all stand there with straight faces when the President of the US stands there in that ridiculous hat spouting complete and utter 💩 What is wrong with these people?

Eight hundred and eleventy two thousand and seven. So there.

#Trumpflation

I'm sure he said it was 6 two days ago. He must be settling wars in his sleep. Whattaguy!

Doesn't everyone occasionally forget how many wars they've ended? 🤪 Don't worry, Donnie, you can ask the Nobel Committee to list them all on the Peace Prize.

It’s up to 13 now - I hear he has personally achieved lasting peace between Gondor and Mordor, between the Morlocks and the Eloi and - you’ll be especially pleased to hear - between Athens and Sparta. The Nobel Peace Prize must surely now follow…

Someone tell him about the Treaty of Westphalia: pretty sure he'll say that was one of his early warstopping things 😎

I think he forgot to add WW1 and WW2

Why not just round it up to a nice round 100?

Follow up. Can you name 5 of these wars you stopped?

Very disrespectful to be wearing a baseball cap in the highest office in the land. Vance should say something.

"Don't you have a crown, Mr President?"

Maybe he's referring to his internal conflicts

Ah, another graduate of the Priti Patel School of Advanced Arithmetic (cum laude)

Got his little “2 weeks” mantra in, too. Which as I understand it represents his attention span, and so assumes it’s the same for his cult.

The hat is as absurd as he is but it's a daily challenge to see which is most ridiculous.

Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall inherit the Earth.

Nick knowles wants him to name them.

I think he means warts.

This is typical of you woke lefties. You're not giving him the credit for all the wars that haven't started because of him.

Wasn't there something in Narnia? And the Ruritanian invasions? Others? Houhynyms maybe...

I wonder if the US voter feels any shame at voting for a fucking idiot.

When is he starting on the real ones?

10? Venezuela demand a recount

Ask him if he has resolved the 100 years war? or the Vietnam war? He'd probably claim them too

Why does anyone bother starting a war when Trump can stop it with just one phone call? They should really just save themselves the hassle

He's amazing. It will be 100 wars by christmas.