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Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social

i think it’s pretty obvious that america’s three good cities are new york, atlanta and louisville. every other city is completely bereft of any attractive qualities whatsoever

aug 13, 2025, 2:50 pm • 842 48

Replies

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Sean Langton @dancingwdarat.com

If your city doesn’t have street cars and/or Slugger Manufacturers what good are you?

aug 13, 2025, 2:52 pm • 0 0 • view
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Annette Shaffer🇨🇦😷 @misskachoob.bsky.social

Last night when telling my neighbour about Vance draining the lake at Louisville, Ohio to fill a river for his rafting pleasure, he asked such a good question: Is that a Democratic riding? And guess what? Yes! It's a blue area of Ohio amid a sea of Republicans. "Fuck them if they don't vote for me"

aug 13, 2025, 3:18 pm • 0 0 • view
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BlonicYouth @blonicyouth.bsky.social

obviously you've never heard of a little place called the Florida panhandle

aug 13, 2025, 3:07 pm • 1 0 • view
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Joe Huiras @joehuiras.bsky.social

IMO Duluth, Minnesota Minneapolis, Minnesota Bemidji, Minnesota

aug 13, 2025, 2:58 pm • 32 0 • view
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Jack Hittinger @jackhitts.bsky.social

This is the actual truth

aug 13, 2025, 3:03 pm • 1 0 • view
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Beer Mit @beermit.bsky.social

are you sure you didn't just sneeze on that third one?

aug 13, 2025, 3:15 pm • 0 0 • view
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TheWheezer @the-wheezer.bsky.social

Real I miss living in Minneapolis so much lol

aug 13, 2025, 3:06 pm • 1 0 • view
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Tim Hannen @twhannen.bsky.social

Dover, Delaware...agrees, wholeheartedly.

aug 13, 2025, 2:56 pm • 0 0 • view
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human skeleton @humanskeleton.bsky.social

atlanta’s centers for primates and puppetry arts remain the envy of the world!

aug 13, 2025, 2:52 pm • 8 1 • view
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PoundingThePodium @poundingthepodium.bsky.social

Don't let Lexington hear you talking like that.

aug 13, 2025, 3:18 pm • 0 0 • view
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avi ΘΔ🏳️‍⚧️ busy(?) with school @fluffyredthing.bsky.social

LOUISVILLE MENTIONED LET'S GOOOO

aug 13, 2025, 3:15 pm • 7 0 • view
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L. Mao Hubbard @jasaday.bsky.social

Mmmm, I really like me some towns, too.

aug 13, 2025, 3:09 pm • 0 0 • view
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F The NFL Narrative @fthenflnarrative.bsky.social

New Orleans...please.

aug 13, 2025, 4:19 pm • 0 0 • view
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rksquared @rksquared.bsky.social

Nah

aug 13, 2025, 3:07 pm • 0 0 • view
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Daisy! @dizzydaisy909.bsky.social

i think you mean louisville, lexington, and frankfort 😊

aug 13, 2025, 3:48 pm • 0 0 • view
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lostinrabbithole12.bsky.social @lostinrabbithole12.bsky.social

what about Edson, Kansas, home of western Kansas' only tool shed restaurant?

aug 13, 2025, 2:53 pm • 5 0 • view
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Lexi Kitestar @kitestar.bsky.social

Louisville used to be great in that it was cheap as hell and had a great music scene.. but rent is like triple what it was 6, 7 years ago and I don't go to shows anymore. And New Wave Burritos is gone. I refer to my friend's shirt design..

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aug 13, 2025, 3:11 pm • 15 0 • view
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Sid Financy @sidfinancy.bsky.social

Never recovered from the death of Steve Ferguson.

aug 13, 2025, 3:15 pm • 1 0 • view
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Alphistia @alphistia.bsky.social

you're wrong lol ;)

aug 13, 2025, 3:24 pm • 0 0 • view
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ashwin🔻🔻🔻 @whatistobedes.bsky.social

some good towns tho

aug 13, 2025, 4:07 pm • 0 0 • view
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1# Emma Frost Fan 🏳️‍⚧️🇹🇼 @k-nightgyr.bsky.social

I think different cities are good for different people. Philly is great for people who want to build a strong community, Boston is good for well-off nerds motivated by social causes, Seattle is good for computer nerds, Miami is good for psychopaths, and Denver is good for outdoorsy athletes

aug 14, 2025, 7:39 am • 2 0 • view
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Mary Laurence @anabasis66.bsky.social

Sure. What’s Buffalo got to be proud about? And what’s the deal with San Diego being “America’s finest city”? Or Columbus being in the center of it all. The center of what?

aug 13, 2025, 4:28 pm • 0 0 • view
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Hunter ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა @birdwatching.meangirls.online

Beef on weck is pretty good tbh, Buffalo at least has that.

aug 13, 2025, 9:02 pm • 2 0 • view
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nooneofcons.bsky.social @nooneofcons.bsky.social

Doesn’t stand up to a three way tho

aug 13, 2025, 9:52 pm • 0 0 • view
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Hunter ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა @birdwatching.meangirls.online

getting tied up and beaten by evil women does though 🥰

aug 13, 2025, 10:02 pm • 2 0 • view
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nooneofcons.bsky.social @nooneofcons.bsky.social

Still not as good as rare roast beef, American cheese, mayo, and James River BBQ sauce on an onion roll

aug 13, 2025, 10:03 pm • 0 0 • view
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Todd Hamilton @toddhamilton.bsky.social

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysmL...

aug 13, 2025, 3:21 pm • 6 1 • view
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thisistable.bsky.social @thisistable.bsky.social

Louisville is highlighted by a giant bat and...

aug 13, 2025, 4:52 pm • 1 0 • view
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leebenningfield.net @leebenningfield.net

I haven't been to Atlanta or Louisville, and I've only really been to NYC for a minute (one night in Queens), so I can't really argue.

aug 13, 2025, 11:09 pm • 0 0 • view
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leebenningfield.net @leebenningfield.net

I'm from a suburb of Boston, and The Onion article about Boston is 100% correct.

aug 13, 2025, 11:11 pm • 0 0 • view
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MarkedInStone @markedinstone.bsky.social

what about rockville Maryland

aug 13, 2025, 2:52 pm • 1 0 • view
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🔥 Luigi 🔥 @fireluigi.bsky.social

don't go back to rockville!

aug 13, 2025, 2:54 pm • 7 0 • view
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MarkedInStone @markedinstone.bsky.social

Baltimore is cool i like the American visionary art museum

aug 13, 2025, 2:54 pm • 2 0 • view
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Cotton Caroline @cottoncarolinekig.bsky.social

And waste another year!

aug 13, 2025, 2:59 pm • 1 0 • view
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H. P. Minecraft @fancyhat.bsky.social

oh yeah where the Flintstones live

aug 13, 2025, 2:55 pm • 1 0 • view
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Nate @jetzzfan.bsky.social

those cities do have decent suburbs, such as boston and philadelphia, asheville and durham (and), cincinnati, and indianapolis respectively, though.

aug 13, 2025, 2:53 pm • 0 0 • view
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My Two Cents, 50% Off @discchoco.bsky.social

I can't help but suspect if you said to an average Bostonian or Philadelphian that their metros were "suburbs" of NYC they'd at minimum be Very Annoyed

aug 13, 2025, 3:11 pm • 1 0 • view
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Nate @jetzzfan.bsky.social

Wait until you tell people in Houston that they are just in a suburb of Mexico City or San Diego a suburb of Los Angeles

aug 13, 2025, 4:01 pm • 0 0 • view
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Steve Hinson @shinons.bsky.social

And New York is just a suburb of Amsterdam

aug 14, 2025, 1:20 am • 0 0 • view
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Nate @jetzzfan.bsky.social

Every town is just a suburb of the only city in the world, that's right! It's Bar-le-Duc, France!

aug 14, 2025, 1:44 am • 0 0 • view
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Lam “Dot” Sinton @lamsinton.bsky.social

What about Athens, Georgia? “The Athens of Georgia”

aug 13, 2025, 3:32 pm • 1 1 • view
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mi @swagmichal.bsky.social

the simpsons dont live in any of those though

aug 13, 2025, 2:51 pm • 20 0 • view
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banned ☢️ @banneduser.space

aug 13, 2025, 2:52 pm • 0 0 • view
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Smams @smams.bsky.social

based ball

aug 13, 2025, 2:59 pm • 1 0 • view
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bites u @bitesu.kawaii.social

you know what philly doesn't want you either

aug 13, 2025, 3:09 pm • 74 3 • view
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darth_baggins @darthbaggins.bsky.social

Jason Kelce at the Eagles Super Bowl parade. He is dressed in a glittery green, purple, and white mummer costume with gold trim and a poofy hat. The caption is from the song he famously sang during his speech. “No one likes us, we don’t care.”
aug 13, 2025, 6:07 pm • 3 0 • view
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lilith kills u @deathcarpets.sisc.one

why am i being forced to choose between my girlfriend and the guy who makes the youtube videos with graphs i like so much

aug 13, 2025, 3:14 pm • 67 0 • view
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HazyLikeSwayzee @hazylikeswayzee.bsky.social

Simply show her the graphs

aug 14, 2025, 11:08 am • 0 0 • view
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thrillow dot gay 🐈 @willow.meangirls.online

i don't envy you

aug 13, 2025, 3:14 pm • 15 0 • view
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Marnix @dragom.bsky.social

go birds

aug 13, 2025, 3:27 pm • 1 0 • view
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🇪🇨 Chudpope Olga 🇱🇧 @popeolga.meangirls.online

massive L on Bois

aug 13, 2025, 3:12 pm • 4 0 • view
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𝔪𝔯. 𝔇𝔍 @boatss.xyz

they’re always saying kansas city is the louisville of the midwest

aug 13, 2025, 2:54 pm • 1 0 • view
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Comrade goober @karlmollusk.bsky.social

LOUISVILLE MENTIONED !!!!! KENTUCKY ON TOP💪💪💪💪

aug 13, 2025, 6:39 pm • 0 0 • view
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Nerd @babayaga25.bsky.social

New York is the Houston of the Northeast.

aug 13, 2025, 2:54 pm • 1 0 • view
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drizzlescomics140.bsky.social @drizzlescomics140.bsky.social

the entirety of wisconsin has cheese :(

aug 14, 2025, 6:48 am • 0 0 • view
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drizzlescomics140.bsky.social @drizzlescomics140.bsky.social

like a lot of cheese :(

aug 14, 2025, 6:48 am • 0 0 • view
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Sonny @carnivorcupcake.bsky.social

It’s telling that you omitted Albuquerque.

aug 13, 2025, 11:39 pm • 0 0 • view
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Shady Backflash @popeshady.bsky.social

I’m guessing this Tennessee Williams quote is now antiquated: “America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. Everywhere else is Cleveland."

aug 13, 2025, 3:04 pm • 1 0 • view
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namned.bsky.social @namned.bsky.social

Is this satire. It’s satire right?

aug 13, 2025, 2:57 pm • 0 0 • view
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Henry Wood @litesabermetrics.bsky.social

I’m noticing a concerning lack of this guy in those three cities you just mentioned, Jon

aug 13, 2025, 3:14 pm • 9 0 • view
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sws1972.bsky.social @sws1972.bsky.social

Louisville’s weather was just a little too cold that one weekend I went there for my son’s soccer tournament several years ago. And I think I had to wait too long at one restaurant there once. Sorry, Jon, that crosses it off the list. ❌❌❌

aug 13, 2025, 8:07 pm • 0 0 • view
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Cat Toyz in the Attic @gcfong.bsky.social

Atlanta has become expensive when for decades it was an affordable city RE: rent and mortgages, but I still like it here. I avoid all communities 50 miles outside of Atlanta because it’s always 1959 there and I’m a minority.

aug 14, 2025, 10:40 am • 0 0 • view
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Beer Mit @beermit.bsky.social

you heard Jon, folks. time for everyone else to pack it in. we're done here

aug 13, 2025, 3:18 pm • 1 0 • view
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Jordan @jordanrevon.com

They aren't allowed to make good cities anymore because of woke

aug 13, 2025, 4:20 pm • 0 0 • view
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Unc Ack @drainbownick.bsky.social

you raggedy bitch

aug 13, 2025, 7:08 pm • 1 0 • view
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L'enfant terrible @stcronin.bsky.social

1 for 3 is a pretty good batting average

aug 13, 2025, 3:27 pm • 1 0 • view
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Gavin (who is back in town) @11mmyjohns.bsky.social

you’re gonna get a lot of pushback on this from a certain aggrieved metropolis…let’s just say your “Billings” will come due!

aug 13, 2025, 2:51 pm • 69 0 • view
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dave @davekrnavek.bsky.social

Magic City shoutout!

aug 13, 2025, 2:56 pm • 7 0 • view
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Ems @veggiemom3.bsky.social

You made me do a double take from the Magic City in Ohio! It looks like they were named with the exact same spirit and early growth. I'll probably delete this later since it narrows down my assassination coordinates (lmao) but wanted to share www.barbertoncf.org/on-community...

aug 13, 2025, 4:57 pm • 1 0 • view
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Adam @nadavis47.bsky.social

Memphis would like a word vis-a-vis “attractive qualities”

aug 13, 2025, 2:55 pm • 1 0 • view
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Slickpoetry @slickpoetry.bsky.social

I legitimately love Memphis

aug 13, 2025, 2:56 pm • 3 0 • view
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Adam @nadavis47.bsky.social

I’ve lived here my whole life. It ain’t perfect, but it’s such a special city. I love it so much.

aug 13, 2025, 3:54 pm • 1 0 • view
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Kim Philby fan account @jafarvcf.bsky.social

As someone who has never been the US, doesn't want to go and probably never will. The only city I'd be interested in visiting is New Orleans

aug 13, 2025, 6:19 pm • 0 0 • view
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Nick Case @nick422.bsky.social

cc: @streetlightlily.bsky.social

aug 13, 2025, 3:00 pm • 1 0 • view
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Conner! @connersaurus.bsky.social

I think you are really sleeping on Beaumont, Jon

aug 13, 2025, 2:52 pm • 0 0 • view
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givedogsthevote.bsky.social @givedogsthevote.bsky.social

We have deez 🥹

Adult and baby javelin walking across a road Antelope ground squirrel sits on the arm of a cactus and munches the pink flower Adult quail with 9 babies
aug 14, 2025, 6:27 am • 0 0 • view
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JHB @jhb.bsky.social

Too bad none of those have decent pizza or barbecue.

aug 13, 2025, 3:14 pm • 0 0 • view
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Nataly 🏳️‍⚧️ @nightpups.bsky.social

Things people have never said about Atlanta before.

aug 13, 2025, 3:59 pm • 4 0 • view
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Richard Campbell @ulmont.bsky.social

"America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. Everywhere else is Cleveland."

aug 13, 2025, 3:15 pm • 7 0 • view
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Fiona Taylor @fionataylor.bsky.social

Savannah is a wonderful city!

aug 13, 2025, 3:32 pm • 0 0 • view
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Lil Floozy Vert, Valentine @scronkle.bsky.social

Appreciate you putting Louisville in this list. Even though Louisville is kinda ass.

aug 13, 2025, 2:59 pm • 6 0 • view
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Farouche Exegete @faroucheexegete.bsky.social

such genteel rage bait

aug 13, 2025, 3:32 pm • 1 0 • view
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BARO @baro.bsky.social

You're not a city if the majority of the transportation modeshare is driving.

aug 14, 2025, 7:27 am • 0 0 • view
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Nick the Goalie @nickthegoalie.bsky.social

ah man I really thought Johnstown had a shot. maybe next time!

aug 13, 2025, 2:53 pm • 0 0 • view
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Slickpoetry @slickpoetry.bsky.social

Hot take!

aug 13, 2025, 2:56 pm • 0 0 • view
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Jo 🧭🪶🦋🗽🇺🇦 @aroadmapmaker.bsky.social

Not too sure of that.

The red rocks at Garden of the Gods with snowy Pikes Peak in the background.
aug 13, 2025, 10:12 pm • 1 0 • view
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Harbinger of Spring @harbingerofspring.bsky.social

Louisville mentioned ❤️ I also like Chicago though. And Cinci And Milwaukee

aug 13, 2025, 9:12 pm • 0 0 • view
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disgustedandsick67.bsky.social @disgustedandsick67.bsky.social

Well, lived in Lousville for years... not too bad. Atlanta and NY are WAY too large and expensive for me. I'm in the hollers of Eastern KY now... Where I can hear myself think.

aug 13, 2025, 4:55 pm • 0 0 • view
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🇪🇨 Chudpope Olga 🇱🇧 @popeolga.meangirls.online

you know what Baltimore doesn't like you either

aug 13, 2025, 2:52 pm • 20 0 • view
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Two-Buck Chuck @twobuckchuck.bsky.social

He made a video about the complete destruction of our baseball team, the battle lines have been drawn years ago

aug 13, 2025, 5:21 pm • 0 0 • view
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Two-Buck Chuck @twobuckchuck.bsky.social

Then again, maybe he just misses The Crown (me too Jon, me too)

aug 13, 2025, 5:24 pm • 0 0 • view
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Yooberz 🍤 @yooberz.postes.club

jon bois is cooking let's see what happens here

aug 13, 2025, 2:54 pm • 8 0 • view
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Red, Leftover Disposal @ethelredhorse.bsky.social

Nah, it's clearly DFW, Atlanta, and Oakland. Everywhere else is Seattle.

aug 13, 2025, 3:30 pm • 0 0 • view
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Ariana 🌊🏳️‍⚧️ @fluidlikewater.bsky.social

Bro said Louisville like we wouldn’t notice

aug 13, 2025, 9:09 pm • 1 0 • view
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Just some guy @arealactualguy.bsky.social

Which Louisville?

aug 13, 2025, 4:14 pm • 0 0 • view
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Dr. RFZ, DDiv, PhD, MBA, CBT @radiofreezerg.bsky.social

Philly is like NYC if NYC weren't too crowded to function, housing were less unaffordable, and the people didn't have their noses up their own asses all day.

aug 13, 2025, 3:13 pm • 3 0 • view
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mort @mattcooper3.bsky.social

is it though

aug 14, 2025, 1:33 pm • 0 0 • view
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jake.world @jakedotworld.bsky.social

Yeah but it only has like, 10 restaurants, tops

aug 13, 2025, 3:19 pm • 0 0 • view
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OptionalMorrison @optionalmorrison.bsky.social

Is Portland ME in Canada now? Did they take it? I really liked that city.

aug 13, 2025, 3:06 pm • 2 0 • view
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David Upham @david-upham.bsky.social

I guess then that you live in Roanoke Va. so that you can be equi-distant from all 3. Wouldn't be good to have a favorite among them.

aug 13, 2025, 9:53 pm • 0 0 • view
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justrip @slices.bsky.social

Wow it’s like trout creek doesn’t even exist huh

aug 13, 2025, 3:39 pm • 0 0 • view
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League champs @crumbledisgrace.bsky.social

I always have FUN in Louisville, to the point where I wonder if my friends and I could buy a warehouse in the post-apocalypse district if we just passed the hat.

aug 13, 2025, 3:04 pm • 0 0 • view
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Kelsey Translatedpussy @redlez.bsky.social

Los Angeles (the city government): pretty bad Los Angeles (the city infrastructure): kinda tortuous Los Angeles (the city population/culture): pretty good Get Los Angeles culture with New York's infrastructure and a better government than exists in any US city and you'd have something great

aug 13, 2025, 7:21 pm • 0 0 • view
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Timmy O'Danaos @odanaos.bsky.social

At least the last 2 of those have some culture.

aug 13, 2025, 3:55 pm • 0 0 • view
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Jeff Pickles @pickl.es

Ah yes, Louisville. The best suburb of Branson.

aug 13, 2025, 3:01 pm • 1 0 • view
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heslin @heslin.bsky.social

It's a city named after Louie Anderson, how could it be anything but great

aug 13, 2025, 5:00 pm • 0 0 • view
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rimrockchateau.bsky.social @rimrockchateau.bsky.social

people wanna flee to the peaceful prairie but cant! they’re all walled megacities so no one can leave :( Odd no one complained about this before

aug 13, 2025, 3:49 pm • 0 0 • view
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Monty Blazar @montypla.bsky.social

I would argue that Atlanta is pretty bad too

aug 13, 2025, 2:55 pm • 2 0 • view
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Lam “Dot” Sinton @lamsinton.bsky.social

All I know about Atlanta I learned from its Real Housewives franchise

aug 13, 2025, 3:31 pm • 0 0 • view
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Kimberly Hudson @kimberlyhudson.bsky.social

We foolishly went to the aquarium there on a Saturday last year. Nightmare traffic and I got hit in the with a stroller in the parking garage. I hate Atlanta with a hot, muggy passion. The only good city is Santa Fe, New Mexico.

aug 13, 2025, 3:03 pm • 2 0 • view
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bnarraway.bsky.social @bnarraway.bsky.social

Sometimes you simply have to say something uncontroversial and objectively true, Jon. I respect that. 🙂

aug 13, 2025, 3:17 pm • 0 0 • view
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Oddly @oddlytaco.bsky.social

I love Lewieville

aug 13, 2025, 3:36 pm • 0 0 • view
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pooveyfarmsracing.bsky.social @pooveyfarmsracing.bsky.social

I see what you did there. You said Atlanta when you really meant Macon.

aug 13, 2025, 8:13 pm • 0 0 • view
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John Harland Berk @snarkyjoan.bsky.social

Please--and I mean this in the most constructive way possible--kill yourself.

aug 13, 2025, 4:05 pm • 2 0 • view
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Sean of the FFS @sheepbop.bsky.social

What? How is that constructive?

aug 13, 2025, 6:17 pm • 0 0 • view
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George Zimmer, Founder and CEO of Men's Wearhouse @silvercactus.bsky.social

sounds like someone doesn't know about Wilson, KS

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aug 13, 2025, 4:53 pm • 0 0 • view
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Hunter ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა @birdwatching.meangirls.online

Yeah Denver is pretty mid.

aug 13, 2025, 8:14 pm • 1 0 • view
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Zorotlekuykauo Sushik IV @zorotl.bsky.social

I like how nobody has said "Dallas".

aug 13, 2025, 11:56 pm • 0 0 • view
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cameron @c7h5n3o6.bsky.social

this guy has very obviously never been to hartford...

aug 13, 2025, 11:48 pm • 0 0 • view
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DiscoKazuma @discokazuma.bsky.social

Only cities blessed by the extended presence of Jon are valid

aug 13, 2025, 2:56 pm • 1 0 • view