me, crawling into the ER, bleeding profusely and gasping for air: help ER nurse, not looking up, tapping the QR code on the side of a gurney: have you downloaded the app
Replies
Any chance you might be pregnant?
aug 7, 2025, 11:09 pm • 1 0 • view
It's like a scene from some dystopian nightmare movie.
aug 7, 2025, 6:36 am • 0 0 • view
Yeah. Every time I try to download an app on my phone it never works. I'm not even sure I know what an app is. Do I need apps? I lived a long time without apps.
aug 7, 2025, 2:35 am • 6 0 • view
Most apps are just glorified web browsers with extra spyware
aug 8, 2025, 5:37 am • 2 0 • view
At the entrance to the automatic slider the ER doc repeatedly asked me as I was wheeled in if the accident had been no fault. I would not let him touch me.
aug 7, 2025, 6:26 am • 2 0 • view
📌
aug 7, 2025, 4:18 am • 0 0 • view
😬
aug 7, 2025, 7:10 am • 1 0 • view
Compassion has a surcharge now.
aug 7, 2025, 9:52 am • 0 0 • view
I’m surprised you even got to interact with a human. I was expecting AI to direct you to the QR code.
aug 7, 2025, 1:54 am • 9 0 • view
AI costs too much so we just integrated the collapsing floor into our business plan so you can't loiter in the lobby for too long
aug 7, 2025, 3:42 am • 3 0 • view
😂
aug 7, 2025, 4:33 am • 0 0 • view
Must live in Florida, especially in Indian River County
aug 7, 2025, 7:00 pm • 0 0 • view
“You have 450 lollipops. Would you like to cash them in for STICHES? Upgrade to premium now!”
aug 7, 2025, 2:13 am • 46 0 • view
Sorry, local anesthetic is only included in Pro Max. Upgrade now for $99.99 per month?
aug 7, 2025, 8:53 am • 13 0 • view
Pro Max Ultra - with features now available that we removed from the lower tiers to arbitrarily raise prices.
aug 7, 2025, 2:10 pm • 5 0 • view
aug 7, 2025, 7:43 am • 5 0 • view
“Lets make sure this is really you. Please choose text or email to have a six digit code sent to you. Reminder: codes can take up to 10 minutes to arrive.”
aug 7, 2025, 7:28 am • 21 0 • view
youtube.com/shorts/GOCEJ...
aug 7, 2025, 10:12 am • 0 0 • view
What’s your insurance, Venmo or cash app?
aug 7, 2025, 2:26 am • 8 0 • view
Happened to me during COVID where I had to download a government app before I could gain admission to the ER in Sydney, because hadn't got around to it - had not intended to leave the house (the height of lockdown). Although it was only for PTSD from seeing the 4th Matrix "film", so only trauma.
aug 7, 2025, 1:43 am • 7 0 • view
You gonna have to also register an account and setup MFA on that
aug 7, 2025, 3:09 am • 10 0 • view
Somebody is practically begging to get barfed on.
aug 7, 2025, 2:01 am • 0 0 • view
*desperately deleting photos of my kids to try to clear up enough room on my phone to download Tournikettr*
aug 7, 2025, 1:58 am • 360 8 • view
Maura, you are genuinely a gift to the world. 😄
aug 7, 2025, 2:19 am • 3 0 • view
Dammit, this is sounding way too plausible.
aug 7, 2025, 2:36 am • 1 0 • view
Lol
aug 7, 2025, 3:03 am • 2 0 • view
No amount of clever jokes will stop me from becoming my mother. I must now take all references to injury or ill health 100% literally. Phase 2 is me tracking your phone and calling in a panic if you drive w/in 20 miles of a hospital.
aug 7, 2025, 2:03 am • 19 0 • view
I feel like I'll soon need to offer a library class in deleting marketing emails in Gmail before you're locked out for having 40,000 in your inbox. LORD they let it get out of hand.
aug 7, 2025, 2:08 am • 4 0 • view
we live in a discount dollar store cyberpunk dystopia.
aug 7, 2025, 2:44 pm • 2 0 • view
Yes, but how in my mind, it's the bus driver from the Simpsons.
aug 7, 2025, 11:23 pm • 1 0 • view
“All it does is give me targeted ads for nearby restaurants on UberEats? Why did it need my social security number for that?”
aug 7, 2025, 2:45 am • 13 0 • view
We can find you a bed once you have checked every photo of a bridge.
aug 7, 2025, 6:59 pm • 15 0 • view
Oh not again! Oh right, sorry, this is merely a harbinger of things to come.
aug 7, 2025, 8:57 am • 1 0 • view
few months ago, friend went in for non-urgent but lifesaving surgery. scheduled well in advance, made all preparations, insurance pre-approved, etc. they did everything correctly! on the big day, when they went in to be admitted, the front desk tried to get them to pay all the fees beforehand
aug 16, 2025, 10:14 pm • 1 0 • view
Yes! United Healthcare's Android app requires you to download 2 OTHER apps to even TRY to book a virtual visit, to then maybe get referred to a specialist. It's fucking hell, and I work with phones for a living!
aug 7, 2025, 4:16 am • 5 1 • view
United Healthcare 🤬. Sounds like adding those extra apps to use another one opens a portal for hackers
aug 7, 2025, 11:54 pm • 1 0 • view
Maura, my dear and treasured friend, PLEASE do not scare me like this
aug 7, 2025, 2:10 am • 4 0 • view
I was literally just in the Epic app doing stuff lol.
aug 7, 2025, 3:01 am • 1 0 • view
Um, dude?? if I have to drive up there and get into a fist fight with hospital staff, you know you have to text me with that shit. I’ve gotta line up babysitting or else bring my kids. You can’t count on me to read blue sky.
aug 7, 2025, 1:50 am • 2 0 • view
it's a joke
aug 7, 2025, 1:52 am • 4 0 • view
Good because my night driving sucks even worse than my day driving
aug 7, 2025, 1:53 am • 7 0 • view
I think if you have an Amazon return with you, the nurse can scan that barcode in a pinch. Try not to hemorrhage on it!
aug 7, 2025, 6:02 am • 3 0 • view
*crawls back out of ER*
aug 7, 2025, 3:37 am • 2 0 • view
Would be funnier if it actually mirrored a real ER experience, those people are f'n warriors rn and have been amazing in my (sadly) recent experiences
aug 7, 2025, 2:05 am • 3 0 • view
"Ok and after you tell the chatbot why you're here today it's just gonna ask you a question."
aug 7, 2025, 2:02 am • 22 0 • view
“Paging Dr. grok!”
aug 7, 2025, 2:28 am • 9 0 • view
This reminded me of this scene from the Hindi movie "Munna Bhai MBBS" roughly translates in English to “If someone is coming to your hospital in critical condition, is it necessary to fill a form first?” en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Munna_B....
aug 7, 2025, 7:06 am • 2 0 • view
We can only treat one complaint per visit. Which one do you choose? You’re going to have to make an appointment for the other issue.
aug 7, 2025, 3:18 am • 11 1 • view
Behold, the future! 🚀
aug 7, 2025, 5:52 pm • 1 0 • view
"Please ... my children ... please help me reset my password ..." [thud]
aug 7, 2025, 1:48 am • 34 0 • view
TIP AMOUNT: 20% 30% 50% The tip is split between hospital executives and insurance executives.
aug 7, 2025, 2:28 am • 63 2 • view
Hallmark of the good joke: it's only about 5% too ridiculous to be unbelievable
aug 7, 2025, 3:09 am • 14 0 • view
"on the scale, please"
aug 7, 2025, 5:53 pm • 1 0 • view
Please don't give them ideas the ER is already a nightmare. TBH I fractured my hip and still wouldn't go to the ER. I'm glad I already had crutches tbh because I could not put weight on that side at all.
aug 7, 2025, 2:12 am • 5 0 • view
Too late! The Cleveland Clinic literally does everything in the Epic app including the ER forms.
aug 7, 2025, 3:05 am • 6 0 • view
Wtf? What if you can't get the app? Or don't have data or service do they just tell you to screw off?
aug 7, 2025, 3:55 am • 2 0 • view
That’s @kezl.bsky.social ‘s department I just use the Epic app on my phone to do everything lol.
aug 7, 2025, 4:24 am • 2 0 • view
Fair enough, I will say how ever I do like having those apps for my doctor's offices! They make things a lot faster and my PCP has a tablet for patients if they can't use a phone!
aug 7, 2025, 4:34 am • 0 0 • view
Yeah it works great!
aug 7, 2025, 1:53 pm • 2 0 • view
The doctors appreciate that I get the test results when they do (sarcasm)
aug 7, 2025, 2:02 pm • 0 0 • view
I don’t know I just use the Epic app for everything it’s easy.
aug 7, 2025, 4:19 am • 1 0 • view