we let this slide (in every case not involving actual children) because they are more or less immutable, but letting them slide does not mean that everything about how people select their partners is wholly rational.
Replies
Disagree about physical appearance mattering much at all. Would agree some personality and psychiatric conditions beyond people’s control can make it very difficult…but much of that can be helped too.
aug 2, 2025, 3:50 am • 0 0 • view
I disagree. Ugly people can still get dates. They just get dates with other ugly people. It's like weight classes in boxing. Featherweights can't complete with heavy weights. But they can still win matches in their own weight class.
aug 2, 2025, 1:25 am • 34 1 • view
Yeah I really, really disagree with OP. One of the most successful dating app users I know is also not a handsome guy. It’s about expectations and personality
aug 2, 2025, 4:46 pm • 2 0 • view
In any case there isn’t a perfectly balanced universal pool of people. A given person may not be in situation where there is a compatible partner. There will certainly be people that are not having success through little or no fault of their own.
aug 2, 2025, 2:58 pm • 3 0 • view
Granted, I would guess this is somewhat rare to have occur over an entire lifespan. But it wouldn’t be impossible.
aug 2, 2025, 2:59 pm • 2 0 • view
Yep these chuds can't play tee ball and think they should be in the major leagues.
aug 2, 2025, 10:04 am • 2 0 • view
I think it would be a whole lot more helpful if people familiarized themselves with the actual study. If you don't want to dive into all the gnarly details, here's an excellent writeup. It will dispel some misconceptions you may have about this population.
aug 2, 2025, 2:34 am • 12 2 • view
I didn't realize there was a paper. I thought this was about a Substack essay (that talked about "progressives" taking over the (male) "why can't I get laid?" space. I'll try to find the link. Paper is interesting, but the self selection of respondents needs to be kept in perspective
aug 2, 2025, 4:42 am • 2 0 • view
The article I provided above goes into a fair amount of detail & contains ample quotes from the authors of the study. And a link to the study itself, if you want to go deeper.
aug 2, 2025, 4:56 am • 1 0 • view
I agree, by the way, about the self-selection of respondents, but the authors laid out future steps with potentially falsifiable hypotheses.
aug 2, 2025, 4:58 am • 1 0 • view