Dearest Martha, The National Guard stand solemn watch at the Krispy Kreme tonight. I cannot tell if they defend the people from the donuts, or the donuts from the people. Powdered sugar hangs in the air like cannon smoke. Jensen took a hot coffee to the face, he may never recover. Yours in glaze,
I see a Ken Burns documentary in the future.
He's still around documenting history🎬
I still remember when his Civil War documentary came out, and every time I hear his name, the song from that documentary plays in my mind.
Five Gingers. Brother God loves the Ginger. You deserve a follow. Great post. We need a laugh today. Celtic Pride. They may take our glazed but they will never take our bearclaws!!!!!!
So funny
The troops are making sure the Krispy Kreme HOT sign isn't turned on. Because in this dictatorship only the President is allowed to use the royal adjective HOT.
It must really suck for them when that sign lights up to symbolize fresh out of the oven ready donuts!! 🍩
We shall jelly roll over our opposition, cream filling them with good old American justice. We refuse to apple fritter away our freedoms and will forever bear claw our way to victory!
Did someone say cream filling
I appreciate the humor in this ongoing nightmare where the felon and his goons destroy our democracy. I would retire from the national Guard before I participated in the felon’s treasonous destruction of our country.
😂 Waiting for the Ken Burns documentary. I suggest From Here to Donuts.
Disgraceful and demeaning them so badly!! Where are our military officers to stand up and stop this???!!!
I guess they picked up all the trash.
Nah, the Republicans are still here.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Y’all we need to start blurring their faces. It’s not their fault they have nothing to do and were summoned to service. ATM they’re on our side, let’s keep it that way
Doesn’t smell like Napalm?
my doctor said eventually those donuts will kill me.
When the people get their hands on donuts, it's only a matter of time before they escalate to sandwiches, and you know the level of violence that will usher in.
This must feel so degrading to them.
Jensen said that the creamer was worse than napalm.
It’s almost like they planned this to show the public what’s really happening. 🧐
And they said they weren't trained for typical police work...
😂😂😂😂😂
Yes, the donuts and their holes sleep safe tonight. And hey, our protectors. OUR troops. There's a Dunkin' just down the block. Enjoy the cuisine on your vaca.
Disgraceful
They'll get my Krispy Kreme donuts when they pry them from my cold, dead hands. Literally. I have peripheral neuropathy from high blood sugar due to eating tons of Krispy Kreme donuts. And its being accompanied by tissue death and an onset of gangrene. So they'll have to amputate my hands.
Those are some slick sleeves right there. How very combat ready of them. Get that fucking kid out of there.
Semper fudge
They were defending the doughnuts from the pigs.
coffee is a diuretic......
I do really enjoy this bit.
Mebbe hot coffee in the mouth, just to remove any liability claims
These guys look miserable 😬
@jasonswritings.bsky.social
Lol amazing.
You think they could outrun Sandwich Man?
😂😂😂
They were also outside Nationals Park but did they come help when a kid broke loose and ran on the field?! No. No they did not 😐
What must these guys be thinking.
Should I get a glazed or chocolate
This is all hilarious until Trump gives them an order to start shooting us.
Final diary entry: "Morning, August 30th, I died today at Krispy Kreme (of diabetes)."
"Yours in glaze." 😅
No doughnut wrappers to pick up with the litter?
They look so happy to there.. lol
Is that still camo if it makes them stand out in a normal urban environment?
Raised and glazed. They stand strong against the cruller.
You see Krispy Kreme was doing a Taylor Swift special and giving away glazed donuts for a few hours. The conservatives don't want people celebrating Taylor Swift unless she publicly confirms that she will submit to Travis.
Dear glaze. I’m right there with ya. Boys were hangin near the Chick-fil-A, pretty close to the water spouting manhole we have now designated “the fountain of Yous”. The one guardsman sat hard on the curb and his rifle went off, blew his hat clear off and dropped down near Union Station....
One of his buddies found it in the trash can he was digging through. Good thing too, had he not gotten that hat back they’d have arrested him for indecent exposure… Just following orders.
What's happening is not their fault, it's not their doing, they're ordered there & it's beyond their control. More than likely, a good majority of them don't agree with being there and are on your side in this massive farce.
The Germans’ argument that is. Took until the late 60’s to really question it so there goes any optimism.
As far as I'm aware professor, we're referencing weekend warriors who haven't participated in mass murder.
The Nazis didn’t start to enact mass murder; they started with internment camps, oppression of political opposition, targeted violence and erosion of the rule of law. It took more than 5 years to fully open violence against Jewish citizens, nearly 10 until the Wannseekonferenz.
Absolutely 💯% factual. I was saying that our National Guard forces are a militia of everyday citizens & for now I doubt Trump has ideological control over all of them. He's absolutely trying to get there but hasn't achieved that milestone as of now. But yeah, I agree we're headed there.
National Guardsman: “Sir, we should post a guard on the Krispy Kreme. Right away.” Commanding officer: “The Krispy Kreme?” 2nd Guardsmam: “Everyone knows donut shops are a hotbed of crime, sir!” Commanding officer: “…” Commanding officer: “Bring me an Original Glazed.”
"Where'd you serve?" "Krispy Kreme..."
they could be home with their families but trump and drunk pete want to try and appear tough and feed their maga base
Guy on the left is all of us
Not hiding his eyes either…
That is very definitely what my father used to call a "Jesus wept" expression.
So incredibly sad that they are forced into this or quit!
So glad the sandwich guy beat the wrap! It was a ridiculous charge in the first place! Suck it, Bondi!
Useless fascists
They stand Hot & Ready for the call
Hang it in the louvres
Hot coffee to the face sounds way worse than a sub sandwich to the chest.
Donut crime is through the roof people! And that's NOT powdered sugar either...addictive substances smuggled over in a guitar case from Cambodia!!
The National Guard defending you from diabetes.
If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean.
HEY - hot coffee can burn 🔥
In 1994 there as a famous product liability/personal injury lawsuit Lieback Vs. McDonald's Restaurants commonly referred to as "The Hot Coffee" or the "McDonalds Coffee"
guy on the right is every law enforcement officer passing a donut shop
the rockets red glare, the bombs bursting air, gave proof through the night that our cruellers were still there
I'm pretty sure if proofed through the night we are talking about a raised donut.
and the hot signs red glaaaare
Maybe we misunderstood the MAGA mission and they really wanted to drive WAIST out of government.
A donut shop? Where are the cops? You should never get between a cop and a donut, you could start a civil war over this.☺️
Maybe that's it. They are deployed as a police force, basically, and hanging out at donut shops is all they know about being cops.
LOL!
Real evidence of posse commitatus right there!
Way-oh. Way-oh. Way-oh-way-oh.
@drsandman11.medsky.social Well done! I can almost hear the woeful sound of the fiddle being plucked as I read that.
archive.org/details/Asho...
These guys know how they look and are not happy about it.
When guys?....when do you grow a pair?....when do you ask yourselves.. " WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE DOING???" You didn't sign up to carry out the whims of an egomaniac wannabe dictator who is pursuing his own personal vindictive agenda.
The guy in blue has no hands!
😆
Hope they are getting paid danger money.
Cops and donuts, that joke never gets old ...
Carry Options in DC. bsky.app/profile/opsa... 🤣
LOL!
Thank you! "Dearest Martha" was my favourite at the old watering hole before it became a cesspool.
makes you want to buy the guys donuts to at least feed them. they're practically homeless at this point. picking up trash for the 5 cent bottle deposits, sleeping on hard floors. no way to treat our citizen warriors
Apparently they literally have them collecting garbage to look busy at this point because there's absolutely nothing for them to do in a city already as peaceful and heavily secured as DC It's just a beautiful metaphor for how hopelessly dysfunctional the Trump admin is
Very clever. Also, fuck Krispy Kreme... they're a horribly corrupt company that, amidst many other things, treats their workers like shit.
Best thing I will see today!
Never leave a cruller behind. 
.....Powdered sugar hangs in the air like cannon smoke..... ....Pure Shakespeare.... Sir, I salute you.... Yours etc...
Donut leave your buddy behind
At least nobody threw a doughnut at them!
They defend the donuts from MPD.
I feel sorry for the guardspeople thrust into this situation and made to look like fools.
Thanks for the LOL
Secretary Hegsets, Sir... I have no donuts.
"Powdered sugar hangs in the air..." You don't know how true this is. My husband used to deliver mail to our local store. Said it was "like walking into a wall of sugar".
If that doesn’t become a recruitment poster someone should lose their job.
"Donut Tread on Me!"
That’s a good one. 👍
Guarding the Krispy Kreme! This guy won my heart. And yes, he’s hot. I’m at least 50 years older than this dude. But when this is all over, I want to track him down and see if he has a Grandpa who is available.
He looks like he feels he didn't sign up for this he's thinking he won't re-enlist. He doesn't look happy.
It’s like a modern take on renaissance imagery— the halos of the righteous are there to show us that they like their donuts hot and fresh.
Class traitor halo goes crazy 💀
#APACT
Idk if he even wants to be there.
Probably really doesn’t but shhhh…we don’t want to get him deported.
If you can’t tell that this guy hates this, look again. He doesn’t want to be there.
He's got a job this clown show has dragged him away from. A job where he actually does useful things. And now he's stuvk doing trash cleanup for a white trash lump in the Oval who would not give him the time of day. Yeah, he doesn't want to be there.
He has that glazed look
I see what you did there. 😂🤣
I did what you see there
What I did there you see.
It's a sweet assignment.
Always ready, always there, always fun, fresh and warm
"man, it is 80 degrees and humid as shit out here today and it is gonna rain for two days straight later this week and this is only a 29 day deployment so i don't even get a per diem or proper lodging..."
"The hardest part of the mission was standing there smelling those hot glazed donuts and the light shinning right behind me and knowing I had to sacrifice that deliciousness for the safety of the citizens of DC!"
Looks like he’s thinking…”This is some real bullshit, but at least they won’t try to deport me when I’m in uniform”.
That's what he thinks
Yesterday they (literally) brought the big guns in the guard the spot...apparently 3-4 Guardsmen weren't enough to deter the non-existent criminals in that spot.
I was promised they would death before dishonor.
Guardsman on the left is regretting having left his sunglasses at home.
Please do one of these daily.
I can almost hear Ken Burns' voice Thank you for your service
😳😳😳
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🍩😂
🤣🤣🤣
These guys are going to have a lot of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Donuts)
Powdered Tasty Sugar Donuts
Overheard
Scones and prayers. 😌
They’ve got muffin on my trauma. 😉
Order the veal Tip your waiter I’m here until Thursday
What a phenomenal waste of our federal resources and how humiliating for the guardspersons.
They're like a chastity cage, protecting all those sweet sweet holes from me.
And they all have full time jobs at home. Families at home. This is insane.
Dearest Martha, We are back at the front. Orders now include clearing enemy territory of gum wrappers and poop bags. I grow weary but remain hopeful that this duty is temporary, sanitation trucks are on the way, and I'll see your sweet smile again. I remain yours, Latex-free PS send wet wipes
Today our commander praised our diligence and thanked us for upholding the highest traditions of military service. We were so proud to receive our medals. I hope to come home soon and show it to you and the children.
Fix... Trashbags! Direction dog poop... Charge!
#genius
"Sorry I'll be late for the classes I'm teaching, I'm picking up trash for the Commander-in-Chief."
Need more Dearest Martha letters!!
Hear that, Dr Rubin? 😊 I agree!
We have to bring Letters From Washington back.
Good
😂😂😂
Who is Martha?
During Trump 1.0, Alex Jones screeched that The Libruhls would start a Second Civil War on the upcoming 4th of July (forget the year, maybe 2018?). The Libruhls had a field day with it, posting thousands of Second Civil War letters in the style of real ones from the Ken Burns doc. It was hilarious.
It's a whole series / meme in the style of Ken Burns' Civil War documentary.
Need to have a mobile LED truck drive by playing this video on the side. youtu.be/pDvkt2VkArg?...
Sad. But thanks for the chuckle.
I guess if i was trying to give up eating donuts, this might help?
😋
bsky.app/profile/abdo... is why 22,000 children and 17,000 women were killed, and 158,000 had their legs or hands cut off.
They’d be far more helpful standing out front of schools.
📌
why does dude in blue suit have no hand ?
Someone needs to narrate these words with Ashokan Farewell in the background.
Here you go: m.youtube.com/watch?v=uZmx...
Such an incredible waste of taxpayer dollars when we can least afford to be this stupid by playing political drama games
Careful their next mission is to go annex all the Starbucks …
NAZI-onal Guards now
Hand them trash bags.
They look soooooo excited to be there
More of these, please!
... Don't think Americans have ever seen videos of Russia, North Korea, and China cause that's what their city's have on the streets ...
Taxpayer dollars hard at work
The jokes write themselves.
photo op for "Donuts Quarterly"
Well, people get a little crazy when that sign is on, hot donuts ready, something like that, lose their minds, might storm the place. Have been in middle in one of those, not pretty.
MAGA is a Terrorist Organization , ICE is a Secret Police Force Conducting Ethnic Cleansing , Trump is a Foreign Backed COUP Figurehead "Useful Idiot" .. This is not an Administration , This is a Regime , And the USA is "Occupied" .. The Cruelity is the Goal .... There is no "Law" any longer
💯
Mr Leo from Good Morning Vietnam: These men shoud be wearing black. If you are going to be in a city you have to CLASH with your environment, not blend in like wallflowers! And then at night, put on some pearls and you're ready for formal wear! This says it all to me!
@thetnholler.bsky.social
Were they picking up garbage so I guess the crime wave Trump is talking about is littering. So yeah, they are cleaning up DC.
I'm worried about the National Guard. I really hope nobody throws a jelly donut at them.
Dearest Martha, I have also failed to mention that the “Hot Light”was on and blazing like the sun falling into the horizon, we dare not tread towards the doors for fear of being struck down by smoldering glaze amid the disappointment of a broken frappachino machine to cool our wounds…
Don't blame the Guardsmen, blame Trump
Dearest George: The homefront is fraught. The workers have been seized and sent by airship to the Amazon and darkest Africa. Fortunately, the Guard now pick up litter and do landscaping....
I suspect there is a cache of lethal sandwiches in there!
Hahahahahahaah! Making little city proud!
Did they not get the note that the free donut giveaway in honor of our royal couple's engagement (Travis and Taylor) was last night?
Shades of the wonderful Civil War letter parodies on Twitter during the first four miserable years of the dumbest president in history. Bravo!
What a complete waste of taxpayer money!
Does he know it's just a matter of time till he's on the train?
Someone needs to step up and treat those boys and girls to a couple dozen doughnuts, dear leader won't. We need to let them know we feel the pain of their useless, theatrical deployment. They're pulled away from families and real jobs. Hearts and minds, ya know?
Every time I see the National Guard standing around like this I think of all the social safety nets that could have been funded instead of paying for this farce. Our tax dollars are being wasted on this.
And they are taken away from their families and jobs.
Title: National Guard gets trained to be Police Officers! Thank you for the chuckle I got from this.
Keep your powdered sugar dry
No better place to re-stage The Battle of the Bulge than right in front of a Krispy Kreme. Puts one in mind of Gen. McAuliffe’s one-word reply to the Germans’ demand for surrender, “Donuts!”
Someone needs to sepia this and throw some fiddle music behind it.
"We're going to have to book Peter Coyote for at least a month"
*Slow pan* fade out or dissolve? Maybe the sound of a coffee cup pour
How embarrassing
Dupont Circle
Their eyes are all glazed over. Is it their mesmerizing mission to save the world of custard filled eclairs for Trump?
At least grab a goddamn broom and start sweeping the sidewalk or something, lazy assholes.
Mulch time
Hold up. Three white troops have pistols. One specialist of color is unarmed?!
The 3 white guys are MPs hence armed and shoulder radios. The non-white guy is probably their driver, not an MP. Hence no weapon, radio, or fucks to give bc he knows these crackers are going to save themselves.
Really? No Brassards. No Bianca gear. And that patch is the 300th infantry BDE from NC. What makes you think they are MPs? Also MP teams are usually three troops with the lowest ranking as the driver.
The wind smells of cordite and maple bacon…
Brilliant.
Those brave souls. They are doing Dunkin's work!
Looks like Dupont Circle metro stop...my old neighborhood.
The Onion, give this writer a job.
I saw the NG around the Wharf last night. Other than probably checking out the ladies in line for the Jessie Murph concert, they looked pretty bored.
Can anyone explain to someone from the UK how the National Guard works? Is it voluntary, do they have serve for so many days a month, or is it until they are told to go home?
They're a branch of the military that gets sent in when we have a lunatic in office, like right now
They are volunteers at the state level. They serve one weekend a month and two weeks a year. In time of war they can be called up by the president to add to available full time troops.
I didn’t realize how much I missed #secondcivilwarletters until now. 🤭
Don't you try and buy any donuts! These are FOR the police (and those cosplaying as police)!
Hope everyone that passes them by gives them a mocking "at ease" or "thank you for your service". Something to really punctuate the farce of it all
It’s not their choice to be there! Take it out on the asshole who conjured up the lie that brought them there. They have to follow lawful orders from their superiors. They don’t look happy to be there-away from their families and jobs.
I'm gonna have to disagree with you, there. On all counts but the last. They can absolutely choose not to be there. They don't have to follow these orders, they are not lawful. They swore their oaths to protect the Constitution, and the country, not just one person or party
What is "lawful" about occupying cities that neither warrant nor need it? Even if it is technically "lawful", so was everything that happened in Nazi Germany. There's a point where "just following orders" stops being an acceptable excuse, and we're well past that
Smells like victory Sweet sugar victory
So… since they're supposed to stop crime (big sigh)… why are they standing around? Shouldn't they be on patrol, profiling minorities, and ignoring the actions of Caucasians? Btw, where are the fucking weak ass @democrats.org?!! #wasteoftaxes #failedpresidency #wherearethedemocrats
They are busy sending fundraising letters.
Hopefully “strongly worded!” 🤦🏼♂️
A hot coffee to the face would hurt like hell.
That knee-grow should never be allowed at any family function again. Dumb ass.
Ok must follow now
no ones cares about Ai bullshit. fuck off.
Ah yes, on the mean streets of Dupont Circle. Imagine the horrors for those stationed by Kramer’s on the northern side, subjected not only to donuts, but also quiches, cakes, and books!
Whispers "The horror"
While kids are shot in church. Maybe the orange one should focus less on occupation of cities and more on combatting actual violence.
"Dearest Josephine.... rations are slim, they're out of maple bars"....
The Dupont circle Krispy Kreme is not very good tbh
Then it’s a good thing they were actually standing guard at the Metro entrance.
I've had good experiences there. At minimum, the coffee is much better than Starbuck's.
low bar but fair enough
Chains in large cities always seem to be either extreme. It's either the brand's showroom or every single menu item is served lukewarm.
Yeah pretty much, this location in particular is probably coasting off of their extremely advantageous position (twenty feet away from the metro station)
14th is better
I didn't know there was one there!
I genuinely love this kind of comment so much, lol. Basically, "Not even guarding the good donuts." Thank you for the additional info.
Maybe someone told them because I was wondering what they were doing outside when the HOT sign is lit?!
The doughnuts are kinda stale, room temperature, and overpriced
So a waste of potential, just like having the national guard wandering DC picking up trash
Yes, especially because it's a great example of art deco design by the great Armenian-American architect Mihran Mesrobian: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dupont_...
It is a wonderful (I'm an architectural geek cause of growing up here) place
This.
No Krispy Kreme is very good, tbh, except for the first few minutes the donuts come out of the fryer and are still hot, and then they're amazing. Otherwise, it's a drive-through coffee place with mid donuts and almost always a shorter line than the McDonald's next door on my way to the freeway.
Living here I agree 😂
Are little rat mustaches a big thing in the National Guard these days? Because I swear every one of these pictures has at least one guy who looks like he's a 7th-grade early bloomer.
DC looks like Moscow now folks!
"The smell of fresh donuts in the morning...smells like victory"
Really glad we've been kissing these guys' asses for the past 25 years...what a betrayal by our military
Incident report #2738 Trash patrol yielded 157 Busch Light cans. We cannot drink while deployed. Ty smashed a window and drove to the closest circle K for a White Claw tallboy. Americans shout at me. Spicy Italians everywhere. Some wounds are invisible. Send reinforcements
Honestly, this may be a simple form of rebellion for them. They are out, but not helping ICE. “Sorry, boss - didn’t see any illegals AGAIN today…”
They should go to Fantom Comics on P street. Good comics for standing around in the circle waiting for crime to come to them there.
Perhaps they guard from the Police
Can things get any more cliche? National Guard, acting as local police, AT A *F__KING* DONUT SHOP! 🙄
Our tax dollars hard at work
Hey guys, if you can lean, you can clean.
How much is this prevention of a donut smash and grab costing us?
😆😆😆😆😆 First there was Valley Forge!
Yours in glaze 😂🤣
did you notice only the white guys had the expensive toys/ guns on them?
Nearly all quiet on the Northwestern front. Post is safer than before--fewer ham sandwiches. Hope to write tomorrow,
Good-bye, cruller world!
I really wanna know what the "NUMBER ONE ICONIC BESTSELLER" in that man's jacket pocket is. (in the lower right)
Midnight and Blue 2024 novel by Ian Rankin
Great post Sir. Sitting here in England, laughing like a madman around my toast! J.
