What happens when you touch one and say “Oz!”

That, right there, is the setting for a haunted/slasher/ghost/cursed doll #horror movie. #FrightClub am I wrong?

Do the dolls come with the property? #FrightClub

Idk. That could well result in a bidding war. #FrightClub

The dolls own the house. You would be their tenant.

The grandma doll is 💯 the seller

For the right buyer, the cleanup would be … child’s play

Somehow the fact three generations lived there makes it worse.

😱

That said, I bet its being seen by a lot more people now. I just want to be the photographer and go, "What dolls?"

I got through 14and bailed. In terror.

The listing agent for the Taxidermy Manor near me finally got to take down the photo of the straitjacket bedroom from the listing. Luckily I saved it. (the straitjacket bedroom clearly at least originated as a servant's bedroom)

Are the dolls included with the house?

Yes, and every time you throw one away, it'll reappear in a different room withon a few days.

First reaction, GAH

The question is not IF that place is haunted but exactly HOW haunted it is.

They seem very fond of their shrubbery.

Omg

AAAAH! AAAAAAAHHHH!

Nope nope nope

The dolls insisted. Are you going to tell them they can’t be there?

I was going to say, I had this book as a child, but I didn’t think they ever came out of the walls.

Yikes!

Still trying to get past the sticker shock on a tiny fixer-upper.

I love the description as “great home for someone looking for a project”

Welcome to the outskirts of Toronto 😬🥲

I really thought I'd adjusted to housing price fuckery (low interest rates inflating prices! Prices not deflating after rates ticked up! Big country lots! Close-in suburbs! New construction! Old construction!) between my hunt and a friend's near Philly in the past few years.

It’s Canadian, so only around 700k?

“Only” you would have employ, painters and landscapers and I don’t know what the going rate for exorcists is these days for minimal habitability. Probably some structural issues too, it could be build on hell mouth, I hear that is hard to fix. This is why I don’t move to Canada.

at current exchange rate, it's closer to $650k USD. that's a steal! 🤣🥲

We have a serious housing crisis here that no one seems to want to address seriously

Way more horrific than the murder dolls.

💯💯💯

Well, I clicked through and viewed the images, and now my laptop screen is cursed. I hope you're happy.

Of course she is. The whole point of the post I suspect 😊

I commented earlier that you stage for the buyer you want and, well… 😳😬😬

This is one of my favorite forms of visual storytelling

$899000? Did they film Letterkenny there or something? That’s Seattle-level pricing for that size of house.

Sadly it's just Greater Toronto Area pricing. I've looked at 1-bedroom condos where the 'bedroom' was just a nook with a sliding glass door that were asking $700,000+.

Woof. That’s tough.

Yeah, we have the dubious honour of having recently overtaken Vancouver for the most expensive housing market in the country. If only ghosts paid rent...

I looked at the price and saw Richmond Hill and thought, huh, that’s really reasonable

Right? It might be worth the sounds in the night and the Terrors.

There's a comparison house, same price, in much better shape linked at the bottom. I wonder if they are being sold by the same people!

So this kind of price is not a joke.... 🤢 Dolls?

Now that's the horror.

Of course it is Seattle-level pricing. It is within greater Vancouver. Also, price is in CAN dollars, so less, in US dollars.

It's totally fine right? Even if it comes with the creepy dolls you just take them out and bin them/burn them... whatever. No way they'd come back afterwards, right? Right?

Gah! Oh no.

Those dolls have definitely seen all 'three generations' of the residents. Always watching..... Eek!

The dolls didn't bother me nearly as much as some of the wallpaper and flooring choices. My eyes are bleeding.

Noooooope!

I actually squeaked a bit when I got to the first one. It was hideously like one of those movies or dreams where the doll never moves when you're looking but keeps getting closer.

The previous homeowner here left dolls. One in the attic, more in a box we somehow didn't see for 8 years. I tried to sell them on Craigslist as "probably not haunted dolls" but only got a message from a gothy teen who couldn't afford shipping.

stop liking, start buying 😅 southjersey.craigslist.org/tag/d/oaklyn...

There's a fae doll in our attic, looking out the window. It doesn't have a real floor, so I'm not allowed to go up and remove it, even though it freaks @foobly.bsky.social out.

If you want a NSFW story about an attic doll, message me! (Offer is for kithrup only)

:( now i am deeply curious

I could go see this property. I wonder if the uh… ambiance… is the same as the photos 🤣

What did the dolls do to the floors???!!!!

Looks like a location in search of a horror movie script...

They missed an opportunity with the yard. You know... peeping around bushes or hanging from trees.

I was just thinking that myself But, you know, just because we don't see them out there doesn't mean they aren't there Especially in the dark

They mostly come out at night… mostly.

My problem with this is that it’s clear what they were going for here but they got tired and decided to put some dolls around and call it a day. Commit to the bit!

No ghosts in this house. Ghosts require souls. This is much much worse

Can we lock Stephen Miller in that house?

With Bannon, and no one else?

Best idea ever.

I like how you think.

Looking through the photos - OK, the outside desperately needs some help. Hey! The inside looks pretty nice, this might be not so bad after all. Wait a minute there are dolls everywhere! There are creepy dolls posed all over the house!

Exactly my progress! Okay, okay, little run-down outside, okay, that's a creepy doll in front of the door.... Oh. Oh no.

this a Grady Hendrix novel come to life?

Only if we get to brick wall the front door first.

"Heritage Home" for the Mildly Insane.

Pic 9 makes me think "Come play with us, Danny."

* whimper * Also, Boston ivy is a SCOURGE. Can't pay me to deal with another garden with invasive vines.

I appreciate you understanding the REAL threat here is the ivy.

I am WHEEZING! I showed the house photos to my husband to get his reaction. When he saw the first photo of the bodiless dolls, he blurted “Oh, yeah…I don’t want to see anymore” and race-walked out of the room!

To be fair, it was an effective way to distract me from the state of the floor for several seconds

Going have to throw in a lot of hazard pay to get someone to smudge that place.

I think the one with them on the couch was the biggest mistake. Even though they're big dolls, that's clearly very small furniture, that might have passed for real furniture otherwise.

Nooooope. Nope nope nope.

Or decided it’d be a good way to go viral.

Looks like that's what happened: www.thestar.com/real-estate/...

I wonder how many 'dolls' are buried in that backyard :)

I read the piece in the Star, and went “thank goodness, this isn’t the realtor we’re working with”

Hahaaa. I mean, sure the internet might be looking at this ad but how much is that translating into showings and offers?

I mean, if I had to guess for this market, that price and that house? It’ll sell, but the house itself is irrelevant.

I'm sure everyone is wondering if the dolls are part of the sale ;)

It's extra to not have them.

"Congratulations, Steve and Martha! Here are your keys, and a bottle of wine from the agency." "You've been great, Erika! Would you like to . . . hey, where are you going?" "Got a page! Got to hurry!" "Uh . . . Steve?" "Yes?" "They . . . they're still in there."

The house comes with the dolls, not the other way around.

Were buried. Aren't any more.

They dug themselves out for the shoot.

Yay cynicism!

I’ve seen several that were obviously that and here I can’t decide tbh

This is one of those things that is just a bit too specific to be staged. My grandmother was this way with dolls and porcelain figures, thousands of them displayed on every flat surface in her home. It was a very "normal" thing for a certain generation. This is the vibe of a widow going to a home

I can’t make up my mind if using this song as a soundtrack while scrolling through the photos would make it awesome or just more terrifying. Probably both. youtu.be/sgfklKnOg4w?...

Is it just me, or did some of those dolls look photoshopped in?

It is unusual for the owners of a house to be in the house photos

My kid asked - why did someone put those creepy things in?

JFC

ok, we all agree, that’s a straight up MURDER BARN, yes? (shudders)

No better way to let everyone know this house is turbo haunted.

the phrase "turbo haunted" has rendered me deceased

Great, now *your* place is turbo haunted.

Wonder if the owner has ever seen Barbarella?

Nope. Nope-nope-nope.

The really scary thing is the possibility they’re under that heritage clause and can’t be exorcised… I mean removed.

They’re just friends! You know. ~friends~

I can hear Singed's music box coming from somewhere...

It was cute til we got to the bodiless ones

I have to disagree. It was creepy before but the bodiless ones just cranked it up to 11.

Ok, we’re gonna need a old priest, a young priest, and maybe one of those crime-scene cleaning services

And a flameflower

Encase it in concrete for future generations to deal with...

THIS PLACE IS NOT A PLACE OF HONOR. NO HIGHLY ESTEEMED DEED IS COMMEMORATED HERE. WHAT WAS HERE IS DANGERPUS WND REPULSIVE TO US. THIS MESSAGE IS A WRNING ABOUT DANGER.

Dr. Orpheus: "It's powered by a _forsaken child_?!" Dr. Venture: "Might be, kind of -- I mean, I didn't use the whole thing!"

I like the way you think.

-look, I sell insurance for a living and I can deal with dolls, but that garage is what scares me.

I like how this listing notes that the garage is not covered by the historical designation. Might as well put ‘garage available for rage destruction purposes’.

Those steps by the entrance look like someone is gonna fall through them any year now too, right?

I could maybe make an argument for a strip and fresh coat of paint on that, depending on how much is dirt and how much is rot, but that garage is an immediate ‘do not pass go’ from underwriting

I found photo 22 to be the absolute creepiest.

HUGE missed opportunity where they weren't all looking at the camera, Office-style.

The…unpopulated…ones are almost creepier b/c you’re just keeping your head on swivel for when one inevitably pops out.

the tall blond extra-haunted one in the pink dress was a legitimate jump scare to me and I fear it will appear in my dreams tonight

Right?!

That one where the door appears to be walled off gives a strong "No, you live with me now" vibe.

"Oh, is that an coal cellar down there?" "Um, yes. A lot of homes had them at the time." "Why sealed off? Structural reasons?" "Yes . . . structural reasons. Yes. Well, let's move along now." (Taps pen against clip board to hide sound of scratching.)

I love the yard and the sealed off shed and all the places where the bodies have been buried.

My brain set it all to the tune of "You're Always Welcome At Our House".

"We're going to be best friends forever and ever!" 😱

Are they included!? 🤞

Ye gods. Legit looks like someone died in the middle of a reno. Or divorced. Ooo! That might be it -- part of the divorce is to sell the property and one of them is trying to bomb the sale with those dolls. (No excuse for the wallpaper and dolls and hyperpaneling and and and...)

A good baseball bat would take care of the problem

But why isn’t the bed made?!

Nope. Nope nope nope nope absolutely not.

@theotrix.bsky.social would you talk the owners out of this or would you support them

What if there were no dolls in the rooms when they took the photos.......?

The main selling point is that it is haunted. There is a market for that!😜

Can’t unsee, thanks

Somebody read How to Sell a Haunted House by @gradyhendrix.bsky.social ...

Why are there doll heads on the shelf?! Where are the bodies?

I just let out a string of "No", "Nope" and "NOOO!"s

Should I be concerned that I found that price tag for…that even more disturbing than the creepy dolls?

Do the dolls come with the house, or just the cursed vengeful souls that once inhabited them?

It's the poses that get me and the ones only partially in the frame that make these extra cursed.

The cowards didn’t even open up the garage. How am I supposed to see how many mutant half dolls fit in it?!?

That redheaded one in the bathroom definitely has a London accent. "FANCY A DIP IN THE TUB GUVNA"

I was thinking more a cowboy bathhouse attendant.

The worst part is there were no dolls in the house when they took the photos...

Welk, I didn’t really need to sleep this month …

What's in the yard/garage area that is so bad even the dolls avoid the back hallways area? 👀

TREE JELLYFISH

"It looks like it's not in the best shape, especially the exterior, but I don't see what the fuss is--uhhhhh oh NO"

My spouse is very hung up on the asking price of the house given its condition, and when I pointed out that I didn't send it to him because of that, he was like, "I mean, I can just remove the creepy dolls."

When you lay hands on the doll, it can also lay hands on you.

(It's like $650k USD, in case you hadn't done the conversion already. Which is still like $50k USD per malicious spirit currently residing inside a porcelain doll, which I do think is asking a bit much in this economy.)

Richmond Hill is within greater Vancouver, BC, the most expensive real estate market in Canada. Literal jokes about half a million getting you a former drug house, that is also a cardboard box, sitting on a highway median. The house has walls, and a roof, and a yard and some history. A steal!

No, no he cannot. The creepy dolls are load-bearing...

Even one of those dolls left behind and I am not setting foot in that house. Which has interesting bones, to be fair. Although maybe that's not the right phrase to go with here...

Everybody is creeped out by the dolls, but I'm wondering why the dolls appear to be the ONLY possessions in the house? Do they come with the house? Also... needs re-sided, re-floored, garage replaced, driveway repaved, and they want 900k for this?!

They need to focus on the floors not the dolls

Yikes!

Nothing wrong with that garage that a good fire couldn't fix. Now let's look at the interio-OH MY GOODNESS WHY

When the will specifies that you must *try* to sell the house

Well at least you know going into the deal that you're gonna want to spray for dolls.

I scrolled through and then I scrolled through again and I swear the second time I spotted more dolls in creepier spots than the first time.

This is kind of delightful. They had three generations there slowly sliding away from normality, but in a busy, colorful, tidy way. I bet they put the dolls in to make things look friendly and welcoming. How could their doll friends fail to do that? I like these people.

There was a home for sale in my neighborhood that I checked out during the open house. There were hundreds of dolls in there, and so many portraits of poodles. The floor plan was maze-like which sure didn’t make it less creepy! But the exterior was less haunted than this.

Doll people are not like other people

I have so many questions. Namely, what the fuck and why.

Y'know, the recent thing where people post sexy pictures of Watto from Star Wars would have made a younger me ask, "How is that a thing? _Why_ is that a thing?" But now, I'm ready to just roll with it. The dolls still make me ask what and why the fuck.

Actually, I have no idea what you're talking about and I think I'm okay with that 😂😂😂

We clearly follow very different sets of accounts. And you know what, Internet friend? That's OK! (Don't search for it, srsly.)

My theory is that they distract you from the terrible physical condition of the property

Other than some of the girls lacking clothes, I'd say those are pretty happy and well cared for dolls, and not ones that look like they'd be cursed to me. The shelves look nice and roomy too. I did just receive a doll that's half jellyfish tho, so I might not be an unbiased opinion.