And that's a super-important thing to recognize; our limitations and/or when it's time for a friend to seek professional help. We have our own shit to deal with; and taking theirs on, too, can even be harmful to us. Not everyone has the capacity, and that's just the reality of it.
& honestly, i have the capacity but i have a very low tolerance for bs. & i think what makes it so draining is that most of the complaints should be dealbreakers. if it was petty complaints i’d just coach them on how to navigate a conversation with them about it. but nooooo it’s always a red flag