Yes but hogging the Latrine Pit and forbidding others to use it is proving problematic…

Depends on how you feel about wearing a dirty nappy.

You need botox

It increases exponentially with age.

True, Mr Badger says so. I’m on the HRT and that definitely helps.

And with diuretics

The Facilities This is nowhere more confronting than their usage by my Chats. But your mourning hasn’t gone unnoticed it does strike a note 🎵 As we hurtle along we do hope there are no toilets on the other side In the next room.

Get a catheter. Then you won't need to go at all...

And if you want to complete the set a colostomy bag is also an option.

I'm sure there's no end of people willing to catheterise you (but with what?)

Better out than in.

Not sure what the etiquette is where you are but unless you need a crap, you get up and say "Je vais pisser", then find the nearest bit of green and let it go.

Is that over the entire span of the mortal existence or at a specific given time?

You need to visit the toilet at least as many times as your body signals urgent need... One fewer makes a mess & upsets Laby B. One extra harms nobody, just causes unnecessary wear on your carpet slippers (or war-boots, whichever). Medieval knights used to crap in their armour. Wear chainmail!

Oh, you meant Imodium. That's because you are now on Tuesday's wine

Evening Keri. Son does "secret shopping". One recent task was buying four bottles of some kind of meal in a bottle, in various shops. Which he consumed. I suggested it might cause constipation. More the opposite, apparently. And it tastes horrible unless mixed with a banana.

Meat in a bottle! How? Why? Morning Barry

"Meal". Though it may have contained meat: he didn't name the brand, so I can't investigate. He's done some odd tasks, inc. buying near-expiry individual cheesecakes, which if yellow-stickered, remove and pay full price. Ended up with 13: they are very stodgy. Hi Keri.

Just dig a hole in the ground and use that. You'll be fine.

With your diet, very rarely.

Dunno - how many times have you shouted "gardyloo!" today/this week/Holocene?

Sadly oh vile one as men age those toilet trips become more and more frequent until you might as well just stay in there….forever.

„Sir, here’s the prisoner“ „Is he bound?“ „Of his health I know not“. From the Goons, who else?