Invisible, imaginary, sky fairy.

Apparently he’s a bit like yourself; benevolent, loving, all seeing and all knowing. However, he sometimes needs a bit of help marking doorways with blood so that he knows which babies to kill

A great big potato

I guess there’s form here. Duchess potatoes Jersey royals King Edwards God potatoes is just a bigger more powerful potato. Probably moon sized. Needs a lot of seasoning.

Closely related to Baldrick’s greatest ambition 😂

🤔 He's worried about not having the mandate . . .

Maybe Pandino

😐 Well I'm bringing that up yesterday n he still thinking about it . . .

🤣 "Reply to Zorg the Conqueror I get my devine 'BRETWALDASHIP' from being the last, blood drenched psychopath standing." Are you going to tell him a Bretwaldaship isn't a mandate or an I?

Too late It's out there Should we get some accidental wine ready...

🍿

Now that’s ‘a peeling’ 😆😆

Lol

Omnipotato 😇😉 Lots of eyes...for the all-seeing bit 👀. Chips for supper... not just the last one, all of 'em.

Great peeling itsy

Yeah, omnispud's got that, too 😊🤗.

He owes me money

🪓

Well there's three of him, so your question should be 'which is this god person anyway?' And by the way although there's three of him, he's definitely only one person on account of being homoousion and not homoousion. Or something. It's complicated, I need a lie down.

Homoiousion... who knew autocarrot had it in for the followers of Arius 🤣?

Otto has it in for everyone, it's very even-handed with its lunacy

Well that just about wraps it up for god.

Careful on that next zebra crossing 🤞😬

Are you sure that's not Zeus cosplaying Woden? He's got two eyes.

I will have a word with the artist about that.

Oolon Colluphid’s third philosophical blockbuster 👍

Great book.

Dog. You misspelled DOG. And they are all kinds of wonderful.

He’s like the Phantom of the Mead Hall for some nightclub called Heaven?

Made up story by medieval white men

As far as I can tell it's a shared imaginary construct people use as an excuse to do horrible things to other people. A bit like patriotism. Or football.

Performative religiosity so they can be holier than thou, just like the performative patriots so they can shag flags.

That's rugby You're thinking off Ripping up shirts Rippling muscles as some handsome dude goes flying up the field throwing people out their way. I had a bit of a crush on jonah lomu. Does it still show?

According to this, I'm an inquirer. The true meaning of Christmas is go away Christ. Mass=dismissal, therefore your dismissing Christ. It tries to discover date of birth and more of the virgin birth, traditions and lots of twists as to how Christmas was tweaked.

God is Love.

A fictional entity given form by rich folks in order to get control over uneducated peasant populations.

Cthulhu. Next question?

There is only one real god. All others are works of fiction, founded in superstition.

Which one ?

Very fair point!

Well.. one answer is @thegodpodcast.com And, of course, look at Jesus. Having seen replies (all sorts, I'm never offended, don't worry) I have to say the mistake people make is they look at church or religion as representing God himself, when a LOT is about rules & people. Stick with Jesus.

Oh.. and

Whatever or whoever the ‘believer’ wants it/ him/ her/ they to be. Religious belief is a very fluid thing and it spills, generally not in a nice warm showery way (as in a warm cup of tea) but in frantic and miscomprehended ways commensurate with the ideology of the ‘believer’. #NotForMe

I don't think he was actually elected.

Why do you spend so much time looking in the mirror?!

As Dawkins said, the most unpleasant character in all of fiction.

Must be a Tory politician, happy to take credit for anything good that happens even* when it happens by chance, but anything bad ... "you weren't believing hard enough!" *specially

She's elusive

He's kind of like a Labour government. Promises so much but delivers jack sh*t. 🤷‍♂️

Someone you can’t throw a saex at.

Or someone recounting the scene (after a long and arduous think) would retell it as ‘and behold the saex became as loaf, fishes and a Nokia mobile!’

🤣 With that bungle bingly beep ring tone

😂😂😂

*Bingly bingly beep. 🙄

I quite like the idea of a bungly bungly beep 😄 Morning m’Lady B 👋

🤣 Morning Siue 👋. How are you doing?

Well my incision/ wound scar is playing up a bit. Quite sore and a bit warm so contacted the Orthoplasty team and I’m commanded to take it easy for 48 hours to see if it settles. Too much bending and stretching 😬

Ow - you definitely need to watch that! I hope they sort it out quickly for you.

Thanks, they think it’s a bit of localised irritation, not red/ inflamed or anything sinister. Apparently below the line of clips there are sutures holding, I suppose, the muscle together at incision point. These are meant to dissolve but some don’t dissolve as they should and can cause problems.

Fingers crossed. It sounds like they’ve got it under control 👍🏻

A DJ?

Tricky.

NB. Tricky is a wrapper...

Oliver Glasner.

The virtual character assigned by those who want power to answer difficult questions without the right to question further to the gullible on their behalf

Not sure she exists as no one has ever heard her.

God is an absentee landlord. When he/she finally decides to return and sees what we've done to the gaff, we'll be evicted so the place can be renovated and redecorated. Then Earth will get new tenants and start again without us.

A creature so narcissistic it has to create a whole Universe and everything in it to worship it. Bit of a tosser really

☺️ I always thought those first 4 commandments were a bit narcissistic . . .

The whole language of organised religion is that of coercive control. You must worship me You must obey me You’re nothing without me I know everything I must control

I'm gonna dissent, because I just reminded myself of this that I wrote: exilefromgroggs.blogspot.com/2019/05/grac... And someone else on here said they thought it was a "good article", which is more affirmation I've had on my writing in, like, ever, so I'm being reckless and sharing again.

Not unlike yourself, minus the omnipotence and wit.

Wit? In the Christianist holy book? Apart from the bears eating the children because someone was bald. That bit WAS funny.

Damn missed that!

Commanding Abraham to kill his own son. Solomon threatening to cut babies in half. The Pharisees getting the Romans to crucify their rival. God killing all the 1st born of Egypt. Getting 2 of all the animals in the world into a 30m boat with enough food for 40 days. It’s laugh a minute stuff.

Let's not forget that great story where Jobes' daughters get him pissed and shag him

No, let's try to forget that one.

I think you mean Lot.

I take the whole thing with a pillar of salt.

No, that's Lot, not Job. And it's a political propaganda hit piece to help explain why the tribes descended from the resulting inbred babies, the Amalekites and Moabites, are bastards who deserve to be genocided.

Whoa, that’s some heavy stuff. I was just nappin’ and dreamin’ about tuna. Pass the kibble, not the politics.

Lot that's right, my mistake

Same with King David. Gets comfort in his dying moments from concubines

At least we don’t all have to sit around the top table for three hours, blowing smoke up his arse.

That’d be risky with his piles.

Whatever happened to Helmorrhoids?

Went out of fashion

Maybe they got creamed?

Models and the very vain use prep. H under their eyes to remove baggy puffy sacs

Would that help @wulfhelm.bsky.social’s baggy sacks?

* OK, there are some sacks But @dutytorturer.bsky.social will get the igors to dispose of any useful body parts in the accepted fashion. @thelatrines.bsky.social may have sacks of loot but if you're on a rampage, keep the swag!

I just nicked this meme off a lady who answered a farage post 😆

Did a good line in cups though. Still popular now.

Sorry no. That was the fools that fell for it.

No, that's people in the rain that you're thinking of. youtu.be/I57nIP0vc44?...

Bishop Grot has reminded me that, as you derive your divine kingship from the Almighty, it's probably best not to ask these questions in front of the peasants.

I get my devine 'BRETWALDASHIP' from being the last, blood drenched psychopath standing.

Yeah, but you have to use a zimmer frame.

With rotating knives.

Noting wrong with assistive technology.

Can be arranged, I have Duck Tape and some spare cutlery 👍

Duct. Duck tape is some kind of 50 shades of grey kink.

I thought it was Duct but wanted to check and googled, found Duck Tape is a brand name like Gorilla. Personally I tend to used Gaffer Tape, I still have a chunk of Rory Gallagher Gaffer Tape from his Leeds Uni gig in 1980. Anyway I digress, yes Duck Tape has ‘connotations’.

I once ripped the arse out of a pair of jeans whilst lifting a 4x12 speaker cab. I repaired it with gaffer tape. It lasted three washes.

Are you Norman by any chance?

Who's Norman?

It’s great stuff! I used it to ‘hem’ my jeans and those bits that always wore thin 😬

I should have done this. Was loading a beer fridge at work. Bent over to place said beer on shelf and RIP, right up the seam of the jeans. Arse out for all to see. Full bar. Rugby night. They saw the lot 🤣

I have one of those I could loan him?

Ya scabby old git

Harsh.

Hi 👋

Yeah yeah, thank you Gag Halfrunt.

Cnut: 🤷

Dunno, but he thinks he's you.

Nice that he's ambitious.

We all need that unattainable dream.

I think he's more of a big picture guy, let there be light, bit of smiting, that sort of thing. Lacking a lot of the detail but more a sort of grand vision. So he's probably on drugs.

The drugs really seem to affect His aim on the smiting part. Always gets the wrong guy. Or maybe someone's turned off the light.

Unreliable smiting, probably ordered from Temu or Wish.

That's nothing compared to all the begating he's done.

Ah, you didn't mention that. It does take a bit of following though all that stuff. Who begat who(m).

It was easier with the Greeks. Random offspring suddenly appearing? Yeah, that's Zeus. Looks like a swan? Yep, Zeus. It's basically all Zeus.

There was Chronos guy in there somewhere. I was better at this when I was about 10. Thought I had them all sorted.

And he never wore a digital watch. Bit of an oversight in his position.

AWOL